Suicide Note - Dtrue

Running fast mate Running fucking fast Until I last I'm coming back, aye Give me fucking time and imma blast You aren't fast, aye Am I the only one trying to live without past, aye Am I the only one trying to survive the rest, aye (Who said money can't buy happiness?) Cold nest, aye Hot pain, never wanted to do that But I have to do that, aye And whenever I want to last, I just can't do it Can't deal with anything, fuck man I just want to forget I just want to rest I just want the rest (I feel, I wish I was dead) (I wanted to commit suicide several times) (Every time I write a new letter to my family, before I attempt) (I probably have about 30 or 40 letters stacked up somewhere, Because I'm too much of a coward to go through with it) (So what's the point in living?) This day has come I feel like I'm numb The struggle don't worth it I need to be done I try to convince others 'bout I don't understand my own mind I can't live with myself anymore And I don't need more And I feel like I'm worn And nobody told that (Fuck you, I want to quit!) (The fuck is going on here?) (Fuck you!)

Cheap cocaine, a dry inhale, the pills that kill and take the pain away Diet of life, shelter without the face that cannot see inside yours and mine When I'm hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe, for our handle on this life I don't believe, this time Would you look at me now? Can you tell I'm a man? With these scars on my wrists to prove I'll try again, try to die again, try to live through this night, try to die again Forever fooling, free and using, sliding down the slide that breaks a will Mothers angel, getting smarter, how smart are you to regress unfulfilled? It's a damn shame When I'm hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe, for our handle on this life I don't believe (This time) Would you look at me now? Can you tell I'm a man? With these scars on my wrists to prove I'll try again Would you look at me now? Can you tell I'm a man? With these scars on my wrists to prove I'll try again, try to die again, try to live through this night, try to die again

Cheap cocaine, a dry inhale, the pills that kill and take the pain away Diet of life, shelter without the face that cannot see inside yours and mine When I'm hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe, for our handle on this life I don't believe, this time Would you look at me now? Can you tell I'm a man? With these scars on my wrists to prove I'll try again, try to die again, try to live through this night, try to die again Forever fooling, free and using, sliding down the slide that breaks a will Mothers angel, getting smarter, how smart are you to regress unfulfilled? It's a damn shame When I'm hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe, for our handle on this life I don't believe (This time) Would you look at me now? Can you tell I'm a man? With these scars on my wrists to prove I'll try again Would you look at me now? Can you tell I'm a man? With these scars on my wrists to prove I'll try again, try to die again, try to live through this night, try to die again

Starring at my food but I can not eat it, Laying in my bed but I am not sleeping, Crying in my room and I keep it top secret, Because people tell me they care but they do not mean it. I'm cut open, even thought I am not bleeding. My heart's broken, so Imma make it stop beating. Someone runs in the room and screams, "He's not breathing!" I'm rushed to the hospital to have a Doc treat it, But he cannot beat it, there's no time at all, Cause I just popped some pills with some Tylenol, And 3 bottles of antidepressants, and Zam Booka, 40 ounces, got killed I didn't puke up anything. There's no use in pumping my stomach, Cause I'll just do it again, I'm a lost cause so fuck it. Everyone with grudges towards me, Is gonna love this. The smiles on their faces when my death goes public. Cause I'm killing myself, Taking matters to my own hands ... I can't picture myself as a grown man... I don't wanna grow up ... I hate change and everything's just so ... Rearranged. My life is nothing but a disaster ... And time keeps going by faster ... But in a second all that shit wont matter ... Fuck this Imma kill myself. I act happy. But I wanna die, I'm not gonna lie ... Thoughts of suicide keep crossing ... My mind on a regular basis ... Going crazy cause I'm going through bull shit ... On a regular basis ... Look me in the face, I'm sick in my eyes... Cause I'm sick in the mind ... I've been wishing to die ever since I was 9. This isn't a lie ... I don't bitch just to whine Or bullshit just to rhyme about it. I don't cry just to spit, Just to try to quilt trip ... Cause I could give two shits about your pity... I ain't trying to get everyone to feel bad for me, I'd rather dis everyone and make y'all mad at me ... I ain't a happy person and I ain't that liked. Not even by myself. I know I ain't that nice... But people don't understand how much ... I hate my life ... Cause if they did they'd know how bad... I want to take this knife and be ... Killing myself, Taking matters to my own hands. I can't picture myself as a grown man. I don't wanna grow up... I hate change and everything's just so rearranged ... My life's nothing but a disaster, And time keeps going by faster ... But in a second all that shit wont matter, Fuck this Imma kill myself ... I quit, I'm bailing, I'm done ... I finally give up, I'm sick of failing, I'm done trying to live up ... To the expectations everyone has set for me . And trying to explain to myself ... Always questioning about my destination ... Fuck my destiny ... No more relationships ... My friends are all dead to me ... My head is aching, and I don't have any energy ... I'm patiently waiting for the day ... That I can rest in peace ... And this medication is the reason ... That I don't get no sleep ... It ain't worth taking, So I just take some ecstasy. Then hear my friends say, "You're a retarded fuck up." Maybe killing myself will Make you retards shut up!!! Cause I only do it once in a while ... At times when I forget how to fucking smile ... I hate being belittled when y'all act like you're ... Looking out for me ... If you were looking out of me then ... I wouldn't about to be ... Killing myself, Taking matters to my own hands. I can't picture myself as a grown man. I don't wanna grow up... I hate change and everything's just so rearranged ... My life's nothing but a disaster, And time keeps going by faster ... But in a second all that shit wont matter, Fuck this Omma kill myself ... When the times comes ... I'll be crying then ... I'll have to get a hold of myself ... Call all my friends, and say goodbye to them ... Then get high and then ... Call up all my friends again and say goodbye again ... And cry again ... Stop crying, Smile... Find a pen. Write down some last words... Somebody will find them when ... I'm in heaven ... Looking down on them ... Or who knows ... The way shit's been going maybe in Hell ... Looking up on them ... But either way I'm watching ... I'm waiting their reaction ... Suddenly someone walks in ... Wait they ain't laughing ... They read it and start crying ... They actually do care ... I'm shocked, I can't believe they're ... Sad that I ain't there ... They miss me... Man what a horrible mistake I made ... And i can't take it back ... It's way to late ... If only I could relive my life ... I'd re-make this song ... Rewrite the hook and it would be like ... Life shit, But I'm taking matters to my own hands. I can picture myself as a grown man. I wanna grow up, and I can deal with change, Even if everything gets rearranged. Maybe my life's a disaster ... And time keeps going by faster ... But now I can see all that shit don't matter ... Fuck that Imma live my life!

Out of my mind, gun up to the mouth No pretension, execution, live and learn Rape and turn Fret not family, nor pre-judged army This is for me, and me only, cowards only Try it Don't you try to die, like me It's livid and it's lies and makes graves descending It's not worth the time to try, to replenish a Rotting life I'll end the problem, facing nothing, fuck you off, Fuck you all Tortured history, addict of misery, this exposes me For weakness is a magnet - watch me do it (do it) Don't you try to die, like me It's livid and it's lies and makes graves descending down Why would you help anyone who doesn't want it, Doesn't need it, doesn't want your shit advice When a mind's made up to go ahead and die? What's done is done and gone, so why cry? Tortured history, addict of misery, this exposes me For weakness is a magnet - watch me do it (do it, do it...) Don't you try to die, like me It's livid and it's lies and makes graves descending down