Get up, do what you want Before, before its too late Don't, don't worry yourself Of others I don't think Kick down the door To hell for more Severe injections, a lethal dose Kick down the door To hell with poverty Clench your fist and shout at them all Its just a lost cause Clenched, clenched fisted shout We're souls, souls in ignorance Break, break all the windows Shout deliverance Break all the doors Innocent victim Do what you want Clench your fists

Fly away bird Sail across the sky Oh what you're seeing is hard to believe As you watch the world go by Fly away bird I know you can fly so high Oh got to get away And I know the reason why A good thing's today But don't think about tomorrow Life is a journey We're only passing through You can't run away 'Cause all you will feel is sorrow We gotta make a better place We can see it through Fly bird, fly high Spread your wings and go for a long ride Fly bird, fly high You and me can soar to a new high Gonna make a better place Give you more than you ever had Here's a little bit of sunshine To clear up the rain Fly away bird I still can hear you cry Oh now you're fearing that the end is near And we'll have to say goodbye Fly away bird I don't wanna hear no lies Oh tell me what you see Just open up your eyes They're taking the land Then spill oil in the ocean Damned up the rivers Poisoned the air we breathe What can withstand To put all the plans in motion It's time to think of Earth first And what it needs Fly bird, fly high Spread your wings and go for a long ride Fly bird, fly high You and me can soar to a new high Are you gonna come back? Will I see you next summer time? With a little bit of help We can lesson the pain Fly bird, fly high Fly bird, fly high Gonna make a better place Give you more than you ever had Here's a little bit of sunshine To clear up the rain Fly bird, fly high Spread your wings, we'll go for a long ride Fly bird, fly high Watch the world go by Fly bird, fly high Sail up to the sky Fly bird, fly high Spread your wings, we'll go for a long ride Fly bird, fly high Spread your wings and go for a long ride Fly bird, fly high I can still hear you cry Fly bird, fly high Spread your wings and go for a long ride Fly bird, fly high We'll make a better place

My days are so busy it's making me dizzy There's so much I gotta do There's lunches and meetings and poetry readings And endless interviews Gotta pose for a portrait And how I deplore sitting there for eternity Then it's off to the inn Where my innkeeper friend Wants to name a drink after me Then it's back to my room, where I resume My attempt to write a hit Just me and my beer and the terrible fear That I might be losing it And it's hard, It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's really hard So very very hard It's really hard Very very hard I make it look easy but honey believe me It's hard It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's so incredibly hard So inconceivably, unbelievably hard It's hard to be the bard Honestly, I don't know how I do it. There's only so much of me to go around. I've got so many fans With so many demands I can hardly go take a piss He can't pee Be it theater-freak or The autograph-seeker They all want a piece of this Gimme, Gimme It's a cross that I bear, I'm like Jesus, I swear It's a burden but I suffer through it He is suffering It's all part of the game, The trappings of fame But somebody's gotta do it So he does it And I know, I know, I gotta go And get back to my pen and ink Oh don't make me do it, Don't make me go through it Can somebody get me a drink! 'Cause it's hard It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's really really hard It's sexy but it's hard It's really hard Sexy but it's hard This bar that I'm Raising to be this amazing! It's hard, It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's so annoyingly hard So unavoidably, unenjoyably hard It's hard to be the bard, baby I know writing made me famous, But being famous is just so much more fun. You see... What people just don't understand Is that writing's demanding It's mentally challenging and it's a bore It's such a chore To sit in a room by yourself Oh my god, I just hate it! And you're trying to find An opening line or a brilliant idea And you're pacing the floor And hoping for just a bit of divine intervention That one little nugget that one little spark Then Eureka! You find it you're ready to start So now you can write, right? Wrong! You're not even close, you remember that damn it, Your play's gotta be in iambic pentameter! So you write down a word but it's not the right word, So you try a new word but you hate the new word And you need a good word but you can't find the word Oh where is it, what is it, what is it, where is it! Blah-blah-blah, ha ha, ah-ha -UGHHHHHHHH! Sir. Hello. You asked for information on what Nicholas Bottom is writing. Our spy is here with the news. Did he see me losing it? He's half blind, sir. Oh, good. Then he only saw half of it. You see what I did? Ha ha. Speak, man. What news? I saw Nick Bottom, I did. He paid a soothsayer to foresee what Shakespeare's greatest play would be. That sneaky little thief! Why doesn't he come up with his own ideas!? It's hard No. It is, isn't it? It's really the worst It's hard Makes me wonder why I didn't think of that first It's hard Hard to alleviate the pressure to create It's hard Hard to do something as good as the last thing I did that was already great It's hard It's hard, So hard that he is stealing from the bard Well I'll hoist him by his petard All I need is a clever disguise Clever disguise I'll make him pay for those devious lies Devious lies Let him do all the tedious stuff The work that's terribly and unbearably hard Alright Nick Bottom I think Shakespeare needs to find out What Shakespeare's next big hit will be Cause it's hard It's totally hard It's hard It's totally hard It's hard It's totally hard I've got fortune and fame Everyone knows my name I can't help it if it's so freakin' hard

What the hell are musicals? (It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops) (And the plot is conveyed through song) Through song? (Yes) W-wait, so an actor is saying his lines and then Out of nowhere, he just starts singing? (Yes) Well that is the— Stupidest thing that I have ever heard You're doing a play, got something to say So you sing it? It's absurd! Who on earth is going to sit there While an actor breaks into song What possible thought could the audience think Other than, "This is horribly wrong!" Remarkably... They won't think that (Seriously? Why not?) Because—it's a... Musical A musical And nothing's as amazing as a musical With song and dance, and sweet romance And happy endings happening by happenstance Bright lights, stage fights, and a dazzling chorus You wanna be great? Then you gotta create a musical! I don't know; I find it hard to believe People would actually pay to see something like this Let's just say it's a Saturday night and you wanna go out on the town Got a lady to flatter who might give it up if you don't let her down You could go see a tragedy, but that wouldn't be very fun Or a play from Greek mythology See a mother have sex with her son Eugh! You could see a drama—with all of that trauma and pain Or go see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain Go see a... Musical A musical A puppy piece, releasing all your blues-icals Where crooners croon a catchy tune And limber-legged ladies thrill you 'til you swoon Ooh's, ahh's, big applause And a standing ovation The future is bright if you could just write a musical Some make you happy Some make you sad Some are quite big Some quite small Some are too long Some are just plays with song Some musicals have no talking at all (No talking at all?) That's right—there's no talking All of the dialogue is sung In a very dramatic fashion (Um, really?) Yes, really (There's no talk-) There's no talking And they often stay on one note for a very long time So that when they change to a different note You notice And it's supposed to create a dramatic effect But mostly you just sit there asking yourself "Why aren't they talking?" (Sounds miserable) I believe it's pronounced "Misérables" (And people actually like this?) No, they love it; and what's not to love! It's such a delight—there's nothing quite like a musical Oh, another vision! I haven't even told you the best part yet! Feel that fascinating rhythm moving to your feet Whoa, whoa... woo-hoo! (Uh, what is that?) Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat (Whoa, are you okay?) You slap your lap, then finger snap That's when you know it's time to tap Oh! (What the hell are you doing now?) It's called a dance break Apparently this happens in musicals as well People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance (Why? Does it advance the plot?) No (Advance character?) Not necessarily (Then why do it?) Because—it's entertaining! Five, six, seven, eight! Another vision! It's a musical! Whatayatalk, whatayatalk? It's a musical! A Seussical? No, a musical—with girls on stage (A musical) We've got snappy repartee And the women are risqué And the chorus boys are kinda gay (A musical) A true, blue, new— Musical! Stand back, it's a musical! Some musicals are very serious A big, glittering musical—a musical It's a mu-si-cal for us! A big and shiny, mighty fine-y Glitter, glitz, and chorus line-y Bob your head and shake your hiney—musical It's a musical (It's a musical) It is a musical! (It's a musical!) Yes! I get it now! We'll do a musical (No kidding!) A musical What could be more amazing than a musical! With song and dance, and sweet romance And with a musical we might have half a chance Ooh's, ahh's, big applause—with everyone cheering for us And for some unexplainable reason The crowd goes wild every time When dancers kick in unison In one big wonderful line And then you got yourself a musical A musical A la-la-la, la-la-la-la Palooz-ical With flashy style and a big fake smile A snazzy band, some jazzy hands—I swear that I'll Cross my heart, hope to die If it isn't a doozy Take it from me They'll be flocking to see Your star-lit, won't quit Big hit musical! A big hit musical!

Well, the situation's this I do not wish to offend I divorced my wife I left my child And I ran off with a friend But I want a tight-knit family I want a group that harmonizes I want my wife and kid and friend To Pretend Time will mend Our pain So it's nineteen seventy-nine So we don't go by the book We all eat as one Wife, friend, and son And I sing out as I cook I love my tight-knit family I love the way they cook linguine Isn't it great? We're all so swell Such a dear clientele I swear we're gonna come through it I fear we'll probably fight But nothing's impossible Live by your wit Kid, wife, and lover will have to admit I was right I cushioned the fall I want it all I want it all I want it Sit down, my dear I hear you have a problem I'm sure you're not disgusting or indiscreet Take a load off your feet Thank you Happy or sad? Well, I - That's a question with no answer Let's not discuss the weather, let's face the facts Marvin's wife must relax Love isn't sex That's a thing my husband once told me Marvin, my ex- You've seen him for years- Told me over the phone to tell you my fears Do you only treat queers? No Breathe deep, my dear You'll find me understanding Your pain is a priori Unfold your untold story Now to break bread Loosen your glands Put your head in my hands I'm everything he wanted It's time I put it all together The date was set My father let me marry I married. I... Then Marvin came from work Sat me down on the bed He told me how he loved me How needed and/or valued me I have What? Syphilis He said Good I have Yes? Syphilis It's true Good I had something rotten Which appears though now it's well forgotten Maybe, darling, so do you Maybe, darling, so do you I am probably diseased You're a lovely girl And so easily appeased What a lovely girl, though she's possibly diseased He took pains to not excite us He explains I've Hepatitis Too Hepa hepa hepatitis hepatitis hepatitis Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways Then I stayed home from work Took good care of my men They faked despair, they wet their bed They combed their hair, they acted dead One said Yes? Daddy is a prick What? He said Yes? Daddy isn't mine Good He filled my coats With candies and notes With "Will you be my valentine?" Will you be my valentine? This gets harder to believe You're a damaged girl I've a scalpel up my sleeve What a damaged girl Do not ever slit your wrists I've missed him; he's still missing Don't make noise, but daddy's kissing Boys Petty, petty, petty, petty Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways Love is blind Love can tell a million stories Love's unkind Spiteful in a million ways Love is crazy Love is often boring Love stinks Love is pretty often debris When you find What you find. Then Never, never, never, never, never Do it over again Love Love Love Love Love reads like a bad biography All the names are changed To protect the innocent Love Love Love is blind My name is Mendel I treat her husband I think she's very insecure But so am I I've never married Work, work is my passion Or perhaps that's an alibi Yeah, perhaps it is Yeah, I don't care to discuss it I think she's charming I think she's needy In just five sessions on my couch She'll be like new His name is Mendel Ah-ah Return next Friday I admit I admire you