This here is a love song I mean you can dance to it if you want But it's a love song You know what love is? I'll tell you looking to my left, looking to my right All I'm gonna see is people lovin' me Have you ever been driving on my hightway? Blinking right but switching onto my way Everyboday wants to know how I do do Can I hit another lick now to do Some people tryin' to put me down down Payback at my next shutdown Wait a minute, get into my groove now And I show you how Looking to my left, looking to my right All I'm gonna see is people lovin' me Looking to my left, looking to my right All I'm gonna see is people lovin' me Have you ever had two girls crying same time? Oh Lord, gimme some sunshine Have you ever been to church on a monday? Have you ever been drunk on a Sunday? A little love is all that I am demanding A little love is all that I am sending Girlfriend, you know that I am standing Right in the middle and I am

J'entre à pieds-joints dans mon bain de pensées J'ai pris le temps de mouiller mon savon parfumé Je laisse, laisse aller mon dos dans l'eau douce Un peu de couleur salée aller dans la mousse Les bulles de savon se trémoussent Les boules de citron m'éclaboussent Je laisse, laisse aller mon dos dans l'eau douce Un peu de parfum moussant aller dans ma bouche Ça mousse, mousse entre toi et moi J'ai la peau douce, douce comme de la soie Ça mousse, mousse entre toi et moi Ça m'éclabousse-bousse comme de la soie J'entre à pieds-joints dans mon eau parfumée J'ai pris le temps de me mouiller pour ne pas me noyer Je laisse, laisse aller ma tête à l'envers Un peu de couleur salée aller dans la mer Les bulles de savon restent en l'air Les boules de citron m'exaspèrent Je laisse, laisse aller mon dos dans l'eau douce Un peu de parfum moussant aller dans ma bouche Ça mousse, mousse entre toi et moi J'ai la peau douce, douce comme de la soie Ça mousse, mousse entre toi et moi Ça m'éclabousse-bousse comme de la soie Ça mousse, mousse entre toi et moi J'ai la peau douce, douce comme de la soie Ça mousse, mousse entre toi et moi Ça m'éclabousse-bousse comme de la soie

My days are so busy it's making me dizzy There's so much I gotta do There's lunches and meetings and poetry readings And endless interviews Gotta pose for a portrait And how I deplore sitting there for eternity Then it's off to the inn Where my innkeeper friend Wants to name a drink after me Then it's back to my room, where I resume My attempt to write a hit Just me and my beer and the terrible fear That I might be losing it And it's hard, It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's really hard So very very hard It's really hard Very very hard I make it look easy but honey believe me It's hard It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's so incredibly hard So inconceivably, unbelievably hard It's hard to be the bard Honestly, I don't know how I do it. There's only so much of me to go around. I've got so many fans With so many demands I can hardly go take a piss He can't pee Be it theater-freak or The autograph-seeker They all want a piece of this Gimme, Gimme It's a cross that I bear, I'm like Jesus, I swear It's a burden but I suffer through it He is suffering It's all part of the game, The trappings of fame But somebody's gotta do it So he does it And I know, I know, I gotta go And get back to my pen and ink Oh don't make me do it, Don't make me go through it Can somebody get me a drink! 'Cause it's hard It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's really really hard It's sexy but it's hard It's really hard Sexy but it's hard This bar that I'm Raising to be this amazing! It's hard, It's hard It's hard, It's hard It's so annoyingly hard So unavoidably, unenjoyably hard It's hard to be the bard, baby I know writing made me famous, But being famous is just so much more fun. You see... What people just don't understand Is that writing's demanding It's mentally challenging and it's a bore It's such a chore To sit in a room by yourself Oh my god, I just hate it! And you're trying to find An opening line or a brilliant idea And you're pacing the floor And hoping for just a bit of divine intervention That one little nugget that one little spark Then Eureka! You find it you're ready to start So now you can write, right? Wrong! You're not even close, you remember that damn it, Your play's gotta be in iambic pentameter! So you write down a word but it's not the right word, So you try a new word but you hate the new word And you need a good word but you can't find the word Oh where is it, what is it, what is it, where is it! Blah-blah-blah, ha ha, ah-ha -UGHHHHHHHH! Sir. Hello. You asked for information on what Nicholas Bottom is writing. Our spy is here with the news. Did he see me losing it? He's half blind, sir. Oh, good. Then he only saw half of it. You see what I did? Ha ha. Speak, man. What news? I saw Nick Bottom, I did. He paid a soothsayer to foresee what Shakespeare's greatest play would be. That sneaky little thief! Why doesn't he come up with his own ideas!? It's hard No. It is, isn't it? It's really the worst It's hard Makes me wonder why I didn't think of that first It's hard Hard to alleviate the pressure to create It's hard Hard to do something as good as the last thing I did that was already great It's hard It's hard, So hard that he is stealing from the bard Well I'll hoist him by his petard All I need is a clever disguise Clever disguise I'll make him pay for those devious lies Devious lies Let him do all the tedious stuff The work that's terribly and unbearably hard Alright Nick Bottom I think Shakespeare needs to find out What Shakespeare's next big hit will be Cause it's hard It's totally hard It's hard It's totally hard It's hard It's totally hard I've got fortune and fame Everyone knows my name I can't help it if it's so freakin' hard

We want Will! x12 Ladies and gentlemen All the way from Stratford-upon-Avon The king of s The sultan of sonnets The man who put the "I am" in Iambic Pentameter Please put your hands together For the one, the only William Shakespeare! Thank you! Is it good to see me or what? Here's one for all your beautiful tuners out there A little sonnet that's been very good to me Let's see if you know it Shall I compare thee To a summer's day Yeah! Thou art more lovely and more temperate And the rough winds shake the darling buds of May, yeah And summer's lease Hath all too short a date I adore the adoration Though others may abhor it It's quite a new sensation What shall we call it? Will Power I am the will of the people now He is the will of the people now Will Power I am the will of the people now He is the will Can you feel it? (Yeah, woo) I can feel it too In fact, I'd like to feel you a little bit later Do you want more? (Yeah) When do you want it? Tomorrow? (No) Later (No) Let me hear you say now! (Now!) Let me hear you say now is! (Now is!) Let me hear you say now is the! (Now is the!) Oh do it with me Now is the winter of our discontent Now is the winter of our discontent Made glorious summer by this sun of York Made glorious summer by this sun of York Let me hear you say Glorious (Glorious) Do you mean me? (Glorious) Well I can't be (Glorious) Now let me see g-l-o-r-i-o-u-s Who fits that bill? It's Will! Yes There's a feeling going round Does anybody call it? We're shaking it with Shakespeare! Methinks you got it Will Power I am the will of the people now He is the will of the people now Will Power I am the will of the people now He is the will Huzzah! (Huzzah!) Oh that is music to my ears And if music be the food of love, play on That's a new one, don't even know where to put it yet Speaking of love, here's one for all you lovers out there Soft, what light through yonder window breaks? Thank you It is the east and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, ah, the moon. Who is already sick and pale So sick and so pale with grief That thou her maid art far more fair than she Than she (Ahhh) Thank you, I like that one too Will Power Will Power I am the Will with the skill to thrill you with my quill I am the hardworking bard you got, yeah I am the Will (He is the Will) I am the Will (He is the Will) I am the man you wanna see up on the bill (Bill, bill) I am the star b-a bard The chosen one that heaven smiled upon (Thank you God) If you wanna see perfection on any given day, You know what they say When there's a will, there's a way (Will Power) When there's a will, there's a way (Will Power) Will Power (Will Power!) Good night Good night Parting is such sweet sorrow

What the hell are musicals? (It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops) (And the plot is conveyed through song) Through song? (Yes) W-wait, so an actor is saying his lines and then Out of nowhere, he just starts singing? (Yes) Well that is the— Stupidest thing that I have ever heard You're doing a play, got something to say So you sing it? It's absurd! Who on earth is going to sit there While an actor breaks into song What possible thought could the audience think Other than, "This is horribly wrong!" Remarkably... They won't think that (Seriously? Why not?) Because—it's a... Musical A musical And nothing's as amazing as a musical With song and dance, and sweet romance And happy endings happening by happenstance Bright lights, stage fights, and a dazzling chorus You wanna be great? Then you gotta create a musical! I don't know; I find it hard to believe People would actually pay to see something like this Let's just say it's a Saturday night and you wanna go out on the town Got a lady to flatter who might give it up if you don't let her down You could go see a tragedy, but that wouldn't be very fun Or a play from Greek mythology See a mother have sex with her son Eugh! You could see a drama—with all of that trauma and pain Or go see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain Go see a... Musical A musical A puppy piece, releasing all your blues-icals Where crooners croon a catchy tune And limber-legged ladies thrill you 'til you swoon Ooh's, ahh's, big applause And a standing ovation The future is bright if you could just write a musical Some make you happy Some make you sad Some are quite big Some quite small Some are too long Some are just plays with song Some musicals have no talking at all (No talking at all?) That's right—there's no talking All of the dialogue is sung In a very dramatic fashion (Um, really?) Yes, really (There's no talk-) There's no talking And they often stay on one note for a very long time So that when they change to a different note You notice And it's supposed to create a dramatic effect But mostly you just sit there asking yourself "Why aren't they talking?" (Sounds miserable) I believe it's pronounced "Misérables" (And people actually like this?) No, they love it; and what's not to love! It's such a delight—there's nothing quite like a musical Oh, another vision! I haven't even told you the best part yet! Feel that fascinating rhythm moving to your feet Whoa, whoa... woo-hoo! (Uh, what is that?) Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat (Whoa, are you okay?) You slap your lap, then finger snap That's when you know it's time to tap Oh! (What the hell are you doing now?) It's called a dance break Apparently this happens in musicals as well People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance (Why? Does it advance the plot?) No (Advance character?) Not necessarily (Then why do it?) Because—it's entertaining! Five, six, seven, eight! Another vision! It's a musical! Whatayatalk, whatayatalk? It's a musical! A Seussical? No, a musical—with girls on stage (A musical) We've got snappy repartee And the women are risqué And the chorus boys are kinda gay (A musical) A true, blue, new— Musical! Stand back, it's a musical! Some musicals are very serious A big, glittering musical—a musical It's a mu-si-cal for us! A big and shiny, mighty fine-y Glitter, glitz, and chorus line-y Bob your head and shake your hiney—musical It's a musical (It's a musical) It is a musical! (It's a musical!) Yes! I get it now! We'll do a musical (No kidding!) A musical What could be more amazing than a musical! With song and dance, and sweet romance And with a musical we might have half a chance Ooh's, ahh's, big applause—with everyone cheering for us And for some unexplainable reason The crowd goes wild every time When dancers kick in unison In one big wonderful line And then you got yourself a musical A musical A la-la-la, la-la-la-la Palooz-ical With flashy style and a big fake smile A snazzy band, some jazzy hands—I swear that I'll Cross my heart, hope to die If it isn't a doozy Take it from me They'll be flocking to see Your star-lit, won't quit Big hit musical! A big hit musical!