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Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer - Epic Rap Battles of History

free ringtone for iPhone & Android phones

@Jagoda
680
15 Sec

Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer - song lyrics

I am inevitable, immeasurable, inexorable, monstrous
With bars weighing on you harder than your haunting guilty conscience
I am Thanos and I crush tracks like Tesseracts in my palm
You're a pencil-pushing Terran who never learned to love his bomb

Seems you started off a chemist and on your world you were a prodigy
Well, that makes sense, because your rhymes are only hot periodically
Man, I burned the Avengers down to Embers
Sent half your planet to be slaughtered
And now I'm offing Oppenheimer like I did to my daughter

Got a fist of gold when I'm rapping
Six Infinity Gems what I'm packing
Stick your tiny nuclear dick back
Into your pants, Dr. Manhattan

Hadron smashing all your atoms
Best not collide with me when I'm rhyming
'Cause you break and bleed so easy
I think I'll call you Oppen-hymen

It's impossible to top me, Oppie
You just don't have the stones
Apparently the only thing
You're good at wrecking is a home

'Cause you slept with your friend's wife
Right there in your friend's bed
Then got another married girl pregnant
You should've gone for the head

Listening to you took everything I have left
After your raps, I am become deaf
You need an Iron-Man, for that wrinkly-ass skin
And that butt-butt-butt-butt-butt-buttchin
Here we go now

Where's your rhythm? I thought you had the Time Stone
Your punchlines sound like they came from RhymeZone
You might be something in the MCU
But between us, who's the worst MC? You!

Your dialogue's got too many breaks in the syllables
You talk so slow, Drax thinks you're invisible
I cause chain reactions when I'm lyrical
'Cause I got that fissile material

You were born to Eternals, but came out looking so scary
That your own mother tried to make you a temporary
Meanwhile, I've mastered the atom, more than any man alive
Now I'm here to split U like two and three from five

I'm a peaceful man, but I do what I must
You had an evil plan, Thanos, and it left you in the dust
It must leave you enraged when you compare our talents
Because in this battle, there is no balance

For a communist pariah, you come off as awfully cocky
But I'll make you bend the knee in round two like Nagasaki
I'm the box office topper, the Marvel showstopper
Got my name on this win like it's the Thanoscopter
You just got no answer for Fortnite's dopest dancer
I will Loki choke you out like my name was Throat Cancer

You wanna talk about Death?
How about the one that looked at you and swiped left?
I'm the destroyer of worlds
You got your nuts handed to you by a Squirrel Girl

We're in the endgame now, Tinky Winky
I'll finish this like Ant-Man, all up in your stinky
Anyone who believes that "Thanos did nothing wrong" crap
Has obviously never heard you rap, oh snap

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30
@Merel
156
Epic rap battles of history! The Wright Brothers Versus The Mario Brothers Begin! We're the Wright Brothers And there can't be no other We don't wanna cause trouble Are you looking for your lover? 'Cause your Princess is in our castle, now (Yeah, she's gone) We stayed up all night playin' Donkey Kong Before us, people used to only fly in balloons You think we're scared of two idiots addicted to shrooms? You shoulda-woulda-coulda come to lose an extra life So just "dudda-dudda-dudda" back down in your pipe It's-a me, Mario! And Luigi, motha- Ding! Why don't you's just get back in your biplane and make out with each other? Look at these two, their lives must'a been horrible! Two dorky dudes named Wilbur and Orville! You spent all your time on one machine? Sheesh If you wanted to fly, you should've just eaten this leaf You should eat something anyways! Look at you, so skinny You might fly like a hawk But you fight like a kitty We don't need to fight, we're the fathers of flight Representin' North Carolina, aiiiight! We'll be pressin' all your buttons like we're the controller Conquer every level of your 2-D scroller You talk a lot of trash, but let me tell you something We're gonna beat you so fast it's like we're holding down the B button We're servin' up an 8-bit fist Made to order! That'll knock you off the back of your own stupid quarters Like POW How you like me now? Spit flames out our mouths like our name was Boww--ser! You'll get pummeled You'll wish you never stumbled out your little wind tunnel We've been droppin' ba-bombs since we started this song Sorry, Wright Brothers, this time ya chose wrong Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic rap battles of history!
30
@Patrick
731
The Burger King Welcome to BK! How can I serve you today? One flame broiled ass clown? Have it your way You can't do fast food half as good as I do Your pink slime meat turns my asshole to a drive through You're played out like a Chuck E. Cheese token Your style's like your ice cream machines, broken (Ha!) I'm dropping Whoppers that'll knock you off the menu Call you Ronald Donald, 'cause there's no MC in you! Why don't you call me Ronald Jeremy? 'Cause I'm getting nasty Like the Whoppers you sell made of horse lips and ass meat Ask Rick and Morty who's the lyrical boss I've got lines for days, call me Szechuan sauce The undisputed GOAT of putting burgers in bellies I'm fast food Eminem, you're Machine Gun Kelly I'm Coke to your Pepsi, I'm Mac, you're Android Let's be real, I'm Nice Peter and you're Epic Lloyd (Alright) You're number one, like the whiz I took in your ball pit Them rhymes you just spit are a Ray Kroc of shit You spooky-ass clown, you're so creepy it's insane You look like you just ate someone's brother in a storm drain You can't beat the King with your crew, please The whole head of your government's name is Mayor McCheese I ain't lovin' shit, even if Timberlake sings I'm running circles 'round you like my onion rings (Your onion rings are pretty good) But that verse was lifeless! You had no joy in it Last rapper this plastic had a Happy Meal toy in it I'm serving billions and I can't be beat You're a bin full of lettuce, facing da feet Using Cheetos, dude? Get your recipes together, man I've had the same fries since I was Willard Scott the weatherman I'm the best trash talking mascot in town You might be the King, but a clown wears the crown (Where's the beef? Right here! Where's the beef? Right here!) (Where's the beef? Right here!) Show me two losers old enough to be my daddies And I'll square off with 'em like the corners of my meat patties It's Wendy! The hip-hopping Pippi Longstocking No flow's as Frosty as the salad bars that I'm dropping I'm topping you two like plain baked potatoes Exploiting you both like you were growing my tomatoes (Aw!) King, you're creepy, and you're always second fiddle Your breakfast croissants are even worse than his McGriddle And McDonald's gave your job to a box with a face Left you behind like a quiet kid in a PlayPlace I'm the fast food queen! Mean with a tweet sesh Leave opponents frozen 'cause I always keep my beef fresh Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic rap battles of history
30
@Anastasija
159
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY Elvis Presley V.S. Michael Jackson BEGIN! Oooh Elvis Presley as I live and breath You stole rock and roll Gave us rockabilly cheese You dance like an epileptic Nothing but left feet I've seen it every record you set Man I beat it Here's a tip Don't swallow a bucket of drugs So you won't die on the toilet Dropping hunks of Burning Love I'm Bad I'm a Smooth Criminal better face up Call me Ed Sullivan Shoot you from the waist up Watch me moonwalk and I step on your blue suede Even in death I go platinum on Blu-Ray Spitting out hits since I was six years old I'm the King of Pop You're the King of Jelly Rolls Well I died on the shitter but I don't give a crap You ain't got half the badass battle raps that I have I got one for your monkey Two for your clothes Three for your family and four for your nose You better surrender talkin' about them ABC's Cause all you wanna do is teach kids the birds and the bees This is the big time, Jacko No dress rehearsal I'll light you up like your hair in a Pepsi commercial I can tell you're angry but I can't comprehend it I stole from black culture Why are you offended? Your Daddy beat gold records out of you like alchemy Don't make me spank you and dangle your ass over a balcony Ohhh It's about time for a Thriller Didn't lose any chocolate I just added vanilla I'm going Off The Wall I won't stop 'til I get enough Whooping your big fat ass With my shiny glove How you gonna talk about the birds and bees When you met your own wife when she was only 14 Then you made one daughter She (Ah) came to me I took her to my Neverland Ranch To Hee-Hee You shoulda stayed in the army dude Shamone Even Tito looks better than you I'm singing "Ahhhh" You're singing "Don't be cruel" There's only one crown baby Let the one King rule You're a creeper dude You like to grab your own wanger I only let you marry my daughter Cause I knew you'd never bang her You think you're tough? Man, you look like Tootie I was badder than you in my Blue Hawaii movie You lost your damn mind That's why they cast you in The Wiz You're like a sad white woman Who never got to be a kid I'm out before you try to hold me and free your willy Later weirdo Elvis is leaving the building Who won? Who's next? You decide! Epic (Hee-Hee) Rap Battles Of History!
30
@Celia
1292
Halcyon days are not a thing Nostalgia is no excuse for stupidity I don't believe in golden ages Or presidents that put kids in cages America awaits on bended knee Can't you see Sweet children, Locke's burden Why did mother draw the curtains Free will is your dilemma (what will the dust remember) Tell me where do you really want to be? At the end of history? Utopia is an opiated dream What we want is an open society One torn and frayed at the edges With pages of imperfect changes And every hallmark of rationality Can't you see Sweet children, Locke's burden Why did mother draw the curtains Free will is your dilemma (what will the dust remember) Tell me where do you really want to be? At the end of history? At the end of history nobody will be innocent Of naked crimes against eternity Now we're in the last second of our December Tell me how do you want to be remembered For generosity or a fucking monstrosity Tell me where do you really want to be? At the end of history? Tell me where do you really want to be? At the end of history? Tell me where do you really want to be? At the end of history? Tell me where do you really want to be? At the end of history?
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