Not the Same Dreams Anymore - Oscar Benton

You're not the same anymore Don't wanna play that game anymore You'd make a better window than a door All the strangers, they implore They get so easy to ignore Just like the girl next door Uncle's house, it was noon Sorry boy, I can't implore ya You are strange but I like you Sorry, this is overdue I promised I would do it right Her and a boy on a Saturday night And now the door slams shut The child prisoner grows up To seek his enemies' throat cut I'm on and on it, on and on and on it We're on the way, fuel the jet Can see that what he wants, he gets What does your sworn enemy regret? I didn't know, I didn't care I don't even understand Did somethin' wrong, I wasn't sure Stay on top of this horse I was afraid, I fucked up Yeah, yeah, yeah I couldn't change, it's too late And now it's time to show up I'm late again, I can't grow up And now it's on me, they've given up Uncle's house, I forget Violent tendencies I give Your timing sucks, she went overboard Don't forget, you are insured I didn't know, I wasn't sure Can't remember all that well I couldn't change, was too late Yeah, yeah, yeah

I'll keep the pictures saved in a safe place Wow, I look so weird here My face has changed now It's a big shame So many feelings, struggling to leave my mouth And it's not that rare for me to let myself down In a big way But I had enough time and I found enough reason to accept that It's not the same anymore I lost the joy in my face My life was simple before I should be happy, of course But things just got much harder Now it's just hard to ignore It's not the same anymore It's not the same anymore It's not the same, but, it's not a shame 'cause I spend a long time putting up with people Putting on my best face It's only normal when you stop things in the wrong way It's only four o'clock and still, it's been a long day I just wanna hit the hay People knocking on me like every day I'm tired of taking stress If only there could be another way I'm tired of feeling suppressed And when they want me the most I'm tired of acting like I care, but I do And I can't wait to hit the bed But tomorrow makes me scared 'Cause it's not the same anymore I lost the joy in my face My life was simple before I should be happy, of course (of course) But things just got much harder Now it's just hard to ignore It's not the same anymore (it's not the same) (It's not the same) (It's not the same) It's not the same anymore (it's not the same) (It's not the same) (It's not the same) (It's not the same) (It's not the same) (It's not the same) I kept the feelings inside I open up when shit gets built up this high She makes it easy to cry The words fall out of me and there's no more disguise I miss the days when I was someone else I used to be so hungry Right now, my stomach's full of air And I've spent many months just hating on myself I can't keep wishing things will be different Or leaving problems on the shelf I wish I didn't need to get help But I do But I do I've been so hard on myself, yeah Even my family can tell And they barely saw what I felt I wouldn't wish this on my enemy or anyone else It's not the same (It's not the same) (It's not the same) It's not the same as before It's not the same anymore And it's fine because I've learned so much from before Now I'm not sure on advice There's no excuses at all No point in feeling upset Won't take my place on my floor I'll stand up straight like I'm tall It's up to me, no one else I'm doing this for myself It's not the same anymore It's better It got better It's not the same anymore It's better Yeah, yeah

Journey back home find myself lost in my shoes And nobody tells you when you grow up you got more to lose Thoughts of all the missteps, memories engrained in my heart Can't believe I found the light, raised in the dark Supported by my elders Man I swore I'd never tell this But it can be bleaker on the other side Of white picket fences, missing love on the inside Inside, can you hear this? Can you feel this pain and confusion When your parents start to lose it Locked up in the closet of your worst nightmares Dreams of a happy family it was never there Even though we had the food up in our bellies High school kids sole connection on the cellies Broken homes Mommy and daddy called it quits And we feel so alone... God I hope it's the not the same when we get older This pain got me feeling like I can't even go home It's harder to cope if I'm sober Try to forgive my name I'm not the same Truthfully I don't really wanna put this out Guided by faith but I'm clouded by doubt Sometimes when the dark gets the best of ya You gotta pick ya head up and really know what you're about Pushing so hard through this life that I'm living The pain come before all the blessings I'm given It's true, It ain't about you All the time, kids missing their nutrition in the lunch line In the meantime we've been working on our punch lines More to life... generation perplexed, escape reality Slave to corporations and anxiety What you gonna say when your time come? What did you contribute, how hard did you try son? One more shot try to dull the pain And find out what we're missing dry out the rain like... God I hope it's the not the same when we get older This pain got me feeling like I can't even go home It's harder to cope if I'm sober Try to forgive my name I'm not the same Not the same You won't see me here again Keep progressing under pressure Pushing through the pleasure and the pain

I just wan' be left alone There's nothin' painful more than death alone Where all my dead ones go? Like, why'd y'all leave me here? I know they talkin' back to me but I can't seem to hear My mentality cloudy I can't seem to clear it Evil spirits can't avoid 'em I can't seem to shake 'em I been through shit that you couldn't stomach but won't let it break me Gave jurisdiction hope and niggas still ain't thank me It don't surprise me though this shit be comin' with high's and lows Got so many obituaries I can't cry no more The feds stipulation stiff I can't get high no more You see me starin' into space I'm tryna find me soul, nah Tryna find myself politely I declined yo' help There's nothing you can do to bring my niggas back And I just want my niggas back It ain't nothin' you could do to bring my niggas back And you can't do nothin' for a gangsta, you can't gimme dat They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly I used to pray I live forever, shit, I'on care no more Ayy, am I weird for textin' gang though he ain't here no more? Mom's couldn't speak at your service 'fore she cleared her throat she broke down Ain't know what you meant to us they know now Throw rounds Used to pour out liquor now we pour out pints of slimnov Loyalty related to betrayal that shit a thin line Death before dishonor always been a quote I live by His son was there to watch them niggas barbecue his ribeye Gave my partner mama somethin' just to get by Even if she get high with it, shit, I don't blame her The suckas catch me loafin' I promise to die a gangsta Clip hold 20, it's 19, one in the chamber They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' it ain't the fame Give a fuck about this money I just wanted y'all to love me But after all the sneaky snake shit, how could you trust me? Niggas forced my hand Shit, I was forced to get him slammed They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly