Not the Same - Ben Folds

Journey back home find myself lost in my shoes And nobody tells you when you grow up you got more to lose Thoughts of all the missteps, memories engrained in my heart Can't believe I found the light, raised in the dark Supported by my elders Man I swore I'd never tell this But it can be bleaker on the other side Of white picket fences, missing love on the inside Inside, can you hear this? Can you feel this pain and confusion When your parents start to lose it Locked up in the closet of your worst nightmares Dreams of a happy family it was never there Even though we had the food up in our bellies High school kids sole connection on the cellies Broken homes Mommy and daddy called it quits And we feel so alone... God I hope it's the not the same when we get older This pain got me feeling like I can't even go home It's harder to cope if I'm sober Try to forgive my name I'm not the same Truthfully I don't really wanna put this out Guided by faith but I'm clouded by doubt Sometimes when the dark gets the best of ya You gotta pick ya head up and really know what you're about Pushing so hard through this life that I'm living The pain come before all the blessings I'm given It's true, It ain't about you All the time, kids missing their nutrition in the lunch line In the meantime we've been working on our punch lines More to life... generation perplexed, escape reality Slave to corporations and anxiety What you gonna say when your time come? What did you contribute, how hard did you try son? One more shot try to dull the pain And find out what we're missing dry out the rain like... God I hope it's the not the same when we get older This pain got me feeling like I can't even go home It's harder to cope if I'm sober Try to forgive my name I'm not the same Not the same You won't see me here again Keep progressing under pressure Pushing through the pleasure and the pain

I just wan' be left alone There's nothin' painful more than death alone Where all my dead ones go? Like, why'd y'all leave me here? I know they talkin' back to me but I can't seem to hear My mentality cloudy I can't seem to clear it Evil spirits can't avoid 'em I can't seem to shake 'em I been through shit that you couldn't stomach but won't let it break me Gave jurisdiction hope and niggas still ain't thank me It don't surprise me though this shit be comin' with high's and lows Got so many obituaries I can't cry no more The feds stipulation stiff I can't get high no more You see me starin' into space I'm tryna find me soul, nah Tryna find myself politely I declined yo' help There's nothing you can do to bring my niggas back And I just want my niggas back It ain't nothin' you could do to bring my niggas back And you can't do nothin' for a gangsta, you can't gimme dat They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly I used to pray I live forever, shit, I'on care no more Ayy, am I weird for textin' gang though he ain't here no more? Mom's couldn't speak at your service 'fore she cleared her throat she broke down Ain't know what you meant to us they know now Throw rounds Used to pour out liquor now we pour out pints of slimnov Loyalty related to betrayal that shit a thin line Death before dishonor always been a quote I live by His son was there to watch them niggas barbecue his ribeye Gave my partner mama somethin' just to get by Even if she get high with it, shit, I don't blame her The suckas catch me loafin' I promise to die a gangsta Clip hold 20, it's 19, one in the chamber They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' it ain't the fame Give a fuck about this money I just wanted y'all to love me But after all the sneaky snake shit, how could you trust me? Niggas forced my hand Shit, I was forced to get him slammed They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly They tellin' me I changed I'm knowin' I'm not the same If anything it's the pain I'm knowin' it's not the fame I'm knowin' it's not the money Skizzy on my skully I ain't know nothin' 'bout that backdoor 'til they showed me, shit get ugly

Hey, Mr. Heartbreaker Do me a favor Stop making me cry 'Cause I feel I ain't strong no more I need you to stop right now 'Cause it feels like I'm sinking down With my pockets full of stones And a brick tied around my soul Oo-oo, I'm not the same Oo-oo, I'm not the same Oo-oo, I'm not the same Hey, hey, Mr. Heartbreaker You know I used to be a fighter But ever since you came into my life I can't find what's wrong from right Oh, you took the hope out of me I can't find any joy in anything And all of the things that I used to enjoy I don't enjoy them no more Oo-oo, I'm not the same Oo-oo, I'm not the same Oo-oo, I'm not the same Everybody's wondering Where she gone The girl that they used to know She don't live here no more She's gone She's gone She's gone Oo-oo, I'm not the same I'm not the same I'm not the same Hoo, hoo-hoo Hoo, hoo-hoo, woah, ooh Woah, oh-oh-oh-oh

I thought I'd write, I thought I'd let you know That the year since you've been gone, I've finally let you go And I hope you find some time to drop a note But if you won't, then you won't And I will consider you gone I know that you went straight to someone else While I worked through all this shit here by myself And I think that you should spend some time alone But if you won't, then you won't And I will, then I will consider you gone Gone, gone, gone, gone Gone, gone, gone, gone I wake up in the night all alone and it's alright The chemicals are wearing off since you've gone (Gone) The days go on, the lights go off and on And nothing really matters when you're gone If you think that you feel nothing at all If you don't (If you don't) Then you don't (No, you won't) If you won't (If you won't, then you- no, you won't- then you) Then you won't (If you- if you won't) And I will Then I will Yeah, I will consider you gone Gone, gone, gone, gone

You can't fool me, I saw you when you came out You got your momma's taste but you got my mouth You will always have a part of me Nobody else is ever gonna see Gracie girl With your cards to your chest walking on your toes What you got in the box only Gracie knows And I would never try to make you be Anything you didn't really wanna be Gracie girl Life flies by in seconds You're not a baby, Gracie, you're my friend You'll be a lady soon But until then you gotta do what I say You nodded off in my arms watching TV I won't move you an inch even though my arm's asleep One day you're gonna wanna go I hope we taught you everything you need to know Gracie girl There will always be a part of me Nobody else is ever gonna see But you and me My little girl My Gracie girl

Think of me Anyway you want I can be The problem if that's easier In your head Move the pieces around Things I've said Turn the memory upside down And it makes it better I know But sometimes it's hard to swallow In time I will fade away In time I won't hear what you say In time, but time takes time you know Tell your friends The things they wanna hear and see Start the drums Band against the enemy And in time I will fade away In time I won't care what you say In time, but time takes time you know In your head Move the pieces round Things I've said Turn the memory upside down It might make it better, I know But sometimes it's hard to swallow In time I will fade away In time I won't care what you say In time, but time takes time you know Time takes time you know

You don't stop Follow me into the great unknown Where pink flamingos crow Diet soda flows And what you take magically regenerates On supermarket shelves The ovens clean themselves You don't pay the tab 'til the last drop So we all ride for nothing 'Cause this train never stops We make a good team Me and you, we do You could scratch my back And I'll scratch my back too And everyone is welcome at the party, yeah People more is more Are we all on board? You don't pay the tab 'til the last drop So we all ride for nothing 'Cause this train never stops You don't stop And you don't pay the tab 'til the last drop So we all ride for nothing 'Cause this train never stops