Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun - Jefferson Mays & A Gentleman's Guide To Love And Murder Original Broadway Cast

I'm rolling down the hill, snowballing, getting bigger An explosion in the chamber, the hammer from the trigger I seen him get stabbed, I watched the blood spill out He had more cuts than my man Chuck Chillout 24 is my age, and 22 is my gauge I'm writing rhymes on a page, I'm going off in a rage Because I'm out on a mission, a stolen car mission Had a small problem with the transmission Three on the tree in the middle of the night I have this steak on my head 'cause I got into a fist fight Life comes in phases, take the good with the bad You bought those coins on the street, and you know you got had Because it's all high spirit, you know you gotta hear it Don't touch the mic' baby, don't come near it It's gonna getchya, it's gonna getchya It's gonna getchya, girl, it's gonna getchya Looking down the barrel of a gun Son of a gun, son of a bitch Getting paid, getting rich Ultra violence be running through my head Cold Medina, y'all making me see red Rapid fire Louie like Rambo got bullets I'm gonna die harder like my kid Bruce Willis I love girlies, waxing and milking Coordinating chicks is my man Dave Scilkin Predetermined destiny is who I am You got your finger on the trigger like the Son of Sam I am like Clockwork Orange going off on the town I've got homeboys bonanza to beat your ass down Well I'm mad at my desk, and I be writing all curse words Expressing my aggressions through my schizophrenic verse words You're a headless chicken chasin' a sucker free basin You're looking for a fist to put your face in Get hip don't slip knuckle heads Racism is schism on the serious tip

Once had a shotgun to my head, they said I wasn't worth the bullets Now the world is my trigger, and I'm here to fucking pull it Once had a shotgun to my head, they said I wasn't worth the bullets Now the world is my trigger, and I'm here to fucking pull it Still here (still here), I can't hesitate Eyes wide open, pupils dilate Still here (right here), set to detonate I see the swarm, the scavengers await No sleep, no rest If that's what it takes to be the best No sleep, no rest Must stay driven, I can't relent Once had a knife to my throat, they said I'd wind up in the dirt I know the ones who doubt me are the ones that really hurt Still here (still here) I can't hesitate Eyes wide open, pupils dilate Still here (right here), set to detonate I see the swarm, the scavengers await No sleep, no rest If that's what it takes to be the best No sleep, no rest Must stay driven, I can't relent Came from the gutter, just missed the grave No looking down the barrel of today Start from nothing, stop at nothing hellbent Never put myself in that position again Now I'm looking down the barrel of today Once had a shotgun to my head, they said I wasn't worth the bullets Now the world is my trigger, I'll fucking pull it Once had a shotgun to my head, they said I wasn't worth the bullets Now the world is my trigger, and I'm gonna fucking pull it No sleep, no rest Must do what it takes to be the best No sleep, no rest Do anything that it takes to be the best

I know a movie star I've got her plastered to my wall Just like we're dear old friends Like she already knows me She's as perfect as she seems Lifts me right out the mezzanine I finally fell in love I'd been waiting forever Four, three, two, one When out the barrel of a gun Keep my head way down Stay out I'll stay in. Half dead, half numb She's enough to make me warm It's all so safe and sound. Lie back and fast asleep If you could see what I could see Drip drop a lovely dream Goddamn, you movie star Can't you just stay a minute more We'd be the best of friends You could stay here forever Four, three, two, one When out the barrel of a gun Keep my head way down. Stay out I'll stay in. Half dead, half numb She's enough to make me warm It's all so safe and sound. She will be sweet on me Just like a mystery It's not so hard to see If I'm not mistaken She comes from far away Gets closer everyday And all that I can say She's all I want and all that I live for Four, three, two, one When out the barrel of a gun Keep my head way down Stay out I'll stay in Half dead, half numb She's enough to make me warm It's all so safe and sound

If I'm ever to show my face in society again, I've got to find a new cause of my own and quickly. Come, come, any ideas? Daisy Greville has the old. Lady Sitwell has the blind And the fund for sailor's widows? That's the two of them combined Nightschool for the nervous? Lady Beach and Margaret Guest Crutches for the crippled? That was Elsie Ponds' bequest Wayward women Daisy Greville Who's behind disfigured men? Daisy Greville And the deaf... don't tell me it's Greville yet again. Everyone's got something can't you see why I'm bereft. I want to do some good but what the devil's left? What the devil's left? If I may your Ladyship, one hears about such terrible poverty in Egypt these days... Egypt. Land of the pharaohs and of Moses the Israelite. Home to the great pyramids and the sphinx. That's it! We'll populate an orphanage in Cairo, With foundlings from the reeds along the Nile. To watch a creature grow, to swaddle it and know the joy of its pathetic little smile It's little smile The news will travel soon enough to London To London Our selflessness will meet with great acclaim Huzzah The sniping will be stilled, and the empire will be filled, With homes for bastard children in my name. All aboard the Luxor express to Cairo. And off she went, What I failed to tell her was that a violent uprising against the empire was imminent And no british citizen was considered safe, so you can imagine my surprise when Lady Hyacinth returned to London quite unharmed. Oh where will my largesse be truly appreciated, I need a place so low that hope itself has been abandoned You've heard of course of the untouchables in India. India. Land of Hindus and Muslims, of camel run and saffron. Exotic and unknowable. That's it! We'll find ourselves some lepers in the Punjab. The hopeless and the wretched and the cursed. Forgotten and Unblessed Unblessed I'll take them to my breast Your Breast If Daisy Greville doesn't get there first. When we arrive, they'll hobble out to greet us Hello there Their toothless grins would melt a heart of stone Awww And every dilettante, will envy me and want a colony of lepers of her own, Now not a word to even your mothers til we leave although, Come to think of it what is the point of helping others unless you let the whole world know, Call the Times of London. And off she went, I neglected to mention the malaria pandemic in the Punjab A bit of insurance in case leprosy itself failed to prove contagious, So you can imagine my shock when Lady Hyacinth returned To London in record time quite the picture of health. I don't suppose you'd be willing to penetrate the jungle of deepest darkest Africa... Africa. From Zululand to Yoruba, Home of proud warriors that naked torsos rippling in the firelight. We'll civilize a village in the jungle The Jungle It can't take long to learn their mother tongue Not long then The words they have are six and five of them are clicks Click And all of them are different words for dong. And can't you see their frightful painted faces Their faces They'll teach us how to swing from vine to vine From vine to vine to vine It's Daisy Greville's loss, she'll never come across, a tribe of backward natives worse than mine. Their may appall us.But even they are part of God's design Awww We bid you all goodbye Goodbye Let all of London try, to find a tribe of natives worse than mine. Charity towards others is divine. Divine, Divine, Divine, Divine, Charity is Divine.

Ancestral Busts: Monty Navarro! You're here by invitation! Monty Navarro! You've wormed your way back in! But please resist the slightest inclination to feel at home! The ice is thin! Wipe off that grin! Oh, you may be clever but Monty you'll never win! You'll never win!

Monty, it's so strange. Everything will change. Think how our lives will be. I don't know what you'll do without me. Poor Monty, You're awfully handsome and smart. Poor Monty, You'll rise above. You'll put the loss of Sibella behind, And you will find someone better to love. Poor Monty, Have I just broken your heart? Poor Monty, Am I to blame? It may look bleak, but in a week, I'll wager you'll have forgotten my name. I think I can picture her now, Young and willing, Oh, it's thrilling! In a way you'll have me to thank. She'll be perfect, a shopper, a teacher, The sister of a preacher, or a widow with cash in the bank! Poor Monty, Cosy in a cottage for two. Oh Monty, Soon they'll be free, Nothing will stop, you'll ascend to the top, You'll own your own shop, Monty I guarantee. And I'll rue the day I turned you away, And I will say to myself: Poor me. I can picture us now; Very grand, in demand, Always somewhere exciting to go. Full of mayfair, we're limited, As lovers, and haters, For being the people people want to know. My husband, Will grow distinguished and grey. My husband, Will always be: Straight as a line, Steady and fine, Totally mine. Unfortunately, Dry as a bone, An insufferable drone, Dull as a stone. Poor me.

Monty Navarro, you know you don't belong here Monty Navarro, you're on a slippery slope Your presence is indubitably wrong here May we suggest We think you'd best Abandon hope Abandon hope But go ahead and take the tour As long as you are here Buy yourself a souvenir or two And one thing more Before you're out the door Sibella Will never marry you

For those of you of weaker constitution For those of you who may be faint of heart This is a tale of revenge and retribution So if you're smart Before we start You'd best depart You'd best depart An usher fainted in the aisle A nun from Leicester lost her wits You might avoid the first or second row Blood may spill And spines may chill It's ghastly - still We thought you ought to know It's only just past eight It's not too late For God's sake! For God's sake For God's sake go!

Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying? What grisly sort of plague is going round? It seems with every day A D'Ysquith slips away And here we are assembled putting another one in the ground It's frankly all been rather mystifying Do forgive me if I scoff: But is it not a trifle odd How they've all gone off to God Suddenly they're congregating underneath the sod Oh, why are all the D'Ysquiths dying What a tasteless way of showing off Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying It seems that all of London's shaken to the core To lose one relative One can certainly forgive But how can you excuse losing two Or three Or four Or seven Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying I've never seen such recklessness before It's unnerving It's not that they're not undeserving Really Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying When truth to tell so many others should Though Privately it was said They should all drop dead No one thought They ever really would I happened to notice there wasn't a lot of crying I even heard a snigger from the back Oh, it really is a shame How I start to feel the same How many are there left to bury after what's-his-name? I ask you Why are all the D'Ysquiths dying Whoever's next, I swear I won't come back I'm utterly exhausted keeping track And most of all, I'm sick of wearing black