I Hate Myself for Loving You - Andie Duquette

Could you love me while I hate myself? Could you love me though I don't deserve it? Could you love me like there's no one else? Even though you know I can't return it Could you love me when the water's rough? Or when I leave you in a desert? Could you love me though I speak with knives? Knowing all too well that you'll get hurt If you can't answer yes, just go I'm more trouble than I'm worth Could you love me while I hate myself? Because I don't know how this works I never learned how this works

I wish that I had somebody to call when I am not okay I wish that I had anyone who cared when I am in that place I wish I could have a mental breakdown Without turning my life into a ghost town So many things I would change But more than anything I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends I wish I could be honest about the ugly Without every single person running from me These days it's hard to have faith And more than anything I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself The floods I feel This storm could kill I'm better off to keep it damned 'Cause the more I speak The more I see Just how alone I really am I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself I wish somebody listened As much as I go through hell For everytime I've thought of ending it all Wish somebody had felt what I felt I wish somebody loved me As much as I hate myself

I smoke cigarettes Because I got a problem With my mental health I don't know how to help myself Don't know how to ask for help I don't know how to not break myself Don't wanna see so many sunrises Because of all the late nights I know where all the afterparties is When I'm tired as shit And I just wanna keep going And fuck with that blow And be a different person That I know I will like I'm a different person You see on the outside On the Instagram Tryna get a lot of likes Smoking in this room When I'm supposed to smoke outside I'm the one that you thought Was so good but I couldn't Make one good decision Even if I could Fucked up So drunk I got no one to love I hate myself And the way I am I hate myself And the way I am Go I hate myself I'm trapped inside a system Lock my heart and hide the key And know there ain't nobody miss 'em Got some cringe I call my life And see as memories Dodging all my peers Because I know they're so ahead of me Lace my blunts with Ketamine Chase my pills with Hennessey Dive into the ocean from the bridge It's feeling heavenly Died when I was seventeen Got stood up by Emily Hate myself much more Than you could ever know Or ever be Jumped to methamphetamines Can't change a world I'll never see Weight up on my heart And man I'm only stuck on Level three Still make the same bad decisions And in my position I know I should change in my heart But don't know where to start I hate myself Because I make a lot of bad decisions Then I suffer the consequences And just live with them I don't fight I don't try I don't hide I just lie In my mind Like it never ever ever happened It never ever ever happened Coming up and being happy It never ever ever happened I hate myself And the way I am I hate myself And the way I am

When we first met, I knew that you were gonna break my heart I'd either say I do or it was gonna fall apart And we almost made it, turned that page, but it turned to sorry I can't do this no more Now I go to bed and I wake up scared that there ain't nobody else I guess that's just what I get for loving you Watching you walk out of my living room Then seeing you arrive with somebody new Now I gotta act like I'm happy too, nah But I guess that's just what I get for loving you I knew all along what I had to lose You're out there running 'round like you're bulletproof While I still got some shit that I'm working through right now I guess that's just what I get for loving you Therapy sessions, all of these lessons I wish I had never learned Reading old texts and telling my friends that it doesn't burn That we almost made it, turned that page but it turned to sorry It just ain't you anymore And I hate the fact that I'd still go back and I'd do it all again But I guess that's just what I get for loving you Watching you walk out of my living room Then seeing you arrive with somebody new Now I gotta act like I'm happy too, nah But I guess that's just what I get for loving you Yeah, I knew all along what I had to lose You're out there running 'round like you're bulletproof While I still got some shit that I'm working through right now I guess that's just what I get for loving you, oh I guess that's just what get for loving you For loving you, for loving you I guess that's just what I get for loving you I couldn't catch a break if I wanted to And I keep trying to find me somebody new But I've only got the best to compare it to And I guess that's just what I get for loving you Yeah, I knew all along what I had to lose You're out there running 'round like you're bulletproof While I still got some shit that I'm working through right now I guess that's just what I get for loving you For loving you, for loving you I guess that's just what I get for loving you, oh I guess that's just what I get for loving you

I wanna give it all to you (to you) 'Cause I was made for loving you Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Tonight, I wanna give it all to you In the darkness, there's so much I wanna do And tonight, I wanna lay it at your feet 'Cause boy, I was made for you And boy, you were made for me I was made for loving you, baby You were made for loving me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me? Tonight, I wanna see it in your eyes Feel the magic, there's something that drives me wild And tonight, we're gonna make it all come true 'Cause boy, I was made for you And boy, you were made for me I was made for loving you, baby You were made for loving me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me? I was made for loving you, baby You were made for loving me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Do, do, do, do, do, do, do I was made for loving you, baby You were made for loving me And I can't get enough of you, baby Can you get enough of me? (Tonight) I was made for loving you, baby (I wanna give it all to you) You were made for loving me (and tonight) And I can't get enough of you, baby (in the darkness) Can you get enough of me? I was made for loving you, baby (I wanna lay it at your feet) You were made for loving me ('cause boy I was made for you) And I can't get enough of you—

Who knows what you think about me And I know I shouldn't care I really tried my best but I can't make you happy And I can't stop time for you I don't know why we couldn't work this out Because you know I tried the best I could I don't know how or what I could have done better Baby I really tried the best I could I can't stop time for you I can't stop time for you I can't stop time for you I've played my part for nothing And I did it all for you, for you Yeah we've been through this I'm not the one you need right now And I can't stop time for you I don't know why we couldn't work this out Because you know I tried the best I could, the best I could I can't stop time for you I can't stop time for you I don't wanna be with somebody who's Never gonna be around for me, 'round for me I'm running out of energy I realised you'll never be the one for me I can't stop time for you Won't you get out of my way, get out of my way I don't need this right now, I don't need this right now Won't you get out of my way, get out of my way I don't need this right now, right now, right now Okay Alright, so, one, two, three I can't stop time for you I can't stop time for you I can't stop time for you I can't stop time for you Won't you get out of my way, get out of my way I don't need this right now, I don't need this right now