The joke's on me and it ain't funny Everybody but me could see the punchline coming a mile away I've heard it so many times I can tell it to the T Believe me I could sell it all day It goes A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink Sees a girl that catches his eye Asks her if she wants another They fall for each other and end up lovers They laugh, cry, hold on tight, make it work for a little while Then one night, her taillights fade out into the dark And a guy walks into a bar I'd laugh too if my heart would let me Keeping it light will probably help to get me over you I'm walking, talking, drinking proof A cliché in a corner booth Ain't nothing new A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink Sees a girl that catches his eye Asks her if she wants another They fall for each other and end up lovers They laugh, cry, hold on tight, make it work for a little while Then one night her taillights fade out into the dark And a guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink Sees a girl that catches his eye Asks her if she wants another They fall for each other and end up lovers They laugh, cry, hold on tight, make it work for a little while Then one night, her taillights fade out into the dark And a guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar

Jeremy, you can't just listen. You have to obey. Now repeat after me Oh, everything about you is so terrible Everything about me is just terrible Good Oh, everything about you makes me wanna die Everything about me makes me wanna die Now you've got it But Jeremy Soon you'll see That if you listen to me Listen to me Everything about you is going to be wonderful We love everything about you! Everything about you is going to be so alive We could never live without you! You won't feel left out or unsure You won't be ugly anymore 'Cause Everything about you is going to be cool (cool) Cool! And powerful (powerful) Wow And popular (popular) Incredible (incredible) You wi-i-i-i-i-i-ill Be more chill! Hehe Be more chill Be more chill Be more chill Be more chill

You gotta buy her a rose Compliment her on her clothes Say you appreciate that she's smart Naw, man! You tell her that she excites you sexually And that's the way you get to her heart Trust me, I know How it's gonna go Listen and oh And there are voices in my ear I guess these never disappear I'll let 'em squeal And I will deal Then make up my own mind Might still have voices in my head But now they're just the normal kind Voices in my head But now they're the normal kind Make her feel welcomed and seen Don't dump her on Halloween Embrace the traits that make you so hot I'll throw you a rope, homeslice If you need some dope advice We've got your back 'Cause we are you squad Buddy, you'll see It'll go perfectly If you listen to me, me, me And there are voices all around But you can never mute the sound They scream and shout I tune them out Then make up my own mind Might still have voices in my head But now they're just the normal kind Voices in my head But now they're the normal kind! Hey, so- I still remember how it felt What? It was like you said Like I'd never have to not know anything again Who did yours look like? Keanu Reeves Oh Yours? Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It's embarrassing- No, actually that one's pretty good! To find out, deep down I just want things to be easy Yeah, but who wants things to be hard? Look, I ruined the play I almost destroyed the school Maybe all human civilization I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but I- Just say what's on your mind, Jeremy Bowling alley performance art? Just the two of us? And any voices in our heads There might be voices in our heads But I swear The voices there will be the regular kind Me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind! What do they say we should do? I think that all of us want to go out with you Woo-hoo! And there are voices in my head So many voices in my head And they can yell And hurt like hell But I know I'll be fine Might still have Voices in my head Jeremy There's voices in my head Jeremy! But of the voices in my head The loudest one is mine! You'll never be rid of me! The loudest one is mine Jeremy, please! The loudest one is mine Na na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na na You ready? Let's go! C-c-c-come on C-c-c-come on Let's go! C-c-c-come on C-c-c-come on Let's go! C-c-c-come on C-c-c-come on Let's go! C-c-c-come on C-c-c-come on Let's go! C-c-c-come on C-c-c-come on Let's go! C-c-c-come on C-c-c-come on Let's go

This is my favorite place behind the school Being here, with you right now Our future is so clear Our union is so near Being here, with you right now I'll tenderly guide Just take me inside you, forever Your life was so pitiful before Now it's time to go all the way and more You gotta get an upgrade (upgrade) upgrade You gotta get an upgrade (upgrade) upgrade Don't worry about the guilt you feel Just take a breath and seal the deal Damn Gotta get an upgrade You gotta get an upgrade Do you wanna come over? To my place tonight We'll get all sport and play cricket Or get a 40 and just kick it My parents won't be home so it's alright They laundered money now they're on the run Wa- tha-that's illegal Which means the house is empty, so that's fun Oh, yeah Never hung with a girl like you before I don't know if you know it, but I am sure That for me you are an upgrade (upgrade) upgrade Let's be each other's upgrade (oh wow) upgrade While I am flattered, this is new Still, I'm not sure what I should do You gotta take the upgra-a-ade Gotta take the upgra-a-ade C-c-c'mon Jeremy, can't you see We got a plan, now be a man You start with Brooke, and then progress And we assess and soon success Will intervene, by which I mean Christine Christine Christine (Christine) Christine Christine Michael? Where've you been all day? Really? So you're not the one who's been avoiding me? It's called optic nerve blocking I have been blocking Michael from your field of vision Wait, what? Michael is a link to Jeremy 1.0 To upgrade, you have to be willing to make sacrifices Seriously, what's up with you? You've been acting shady ever since- since... It worked, didn't it? Huh, Jeremy! That's amazing! We gotta test it out! No, we gotta celebrate! We gotta get stoned in my basement! I already know what it's like to be the loser I should find out what it's like to not be the loser I don't wanna be special I just wanna be chill as life will allow Should I take the upgrade? (Upgrade, upgrade) Should I take the upgrade? (No, no, no) And I wasn't sure before But now I wanna go all the way and more So give me that upgrade (upgrade, upgrade) Give me that upgrade (upgrade, upgrade, upgrade) Tried to be genuine and true But now it's time for something new So give me that upgrade (upgrade, upgrade) Give me that upgrade (upgrade, upgrade) Maybe it doesn't matter how I'm getting the upgrade right now Jeremy, are you coming? Optic nerve blocking on Now, let's get to work (Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh)

Picked out a costume for tonight Made sure to get a size that was a lot too tight You can kinda see my business But I'll act like I don't know Whoa I got a condom And a flask I stole my older brother's Jason mask And I don't have a machete But a loaf of bread will do Ooo (Spoken) Who's ready for my Halloween party?! Everybody's got a red Solo cup Fill it up, fill it up Hear the beer spill on the ground Everybody's all like "Sup?" "Yo man, sup?!" Let's catch up, let's smoke up Look at how many drinks I've downed Every single song's like "Whup," they're all "Whup!" We're like "Yup! Turn it up!" As we stumble to the sound 'Cause a Halloween party's a rad excuse To put your body through mad abuse And I might pass out, but it's alright 'Cause I'm Halloween partying hard tonight It's Halloween It's Halloween (Spoken) Jeremy! I was afraid you weren't coming Did you get my messages? (Spoken) Play it off (Spoken) Am I late? I didn't even realize (Spoken) What do you think of my costume? I figured, you always see sexy cats, but no one ever goes as a sexy dog (Spoken) Uh, it's (Spoken) Vague compliment (Spoken) ...original I mean, amazing Seriously I can't believe I'm with a girl who looks like you (Spoken) You need a drink Crank the bass, it's Halloween Break a vase, it's Halloween Jello shots! It's Halloween Liver spots from Halloween Everybody's got a red Solo cup Fill it up, fill it up Hear the beer spill on the ground Everybody's all like "Sup?" "Yo man, sup?!" Let's catch up, let's smoke up Look at how many drinks I've downed Every single song's like "Whup," they're all "Whup!" We're like "Yup! Turn it up!" As we stumble to the sound 'Cause a Halloween party's a rad excuse To put your body through mad abuse And I might pass out, but it's alright 'Cause I'm Halloween partying hard tonight It's Halloween It's Halloween

Jeremy, you can't just listen, you have to obey Now repeat after me Woah Everything about you is so terrible (Everything about me is just terrible) Good Woah Everything about you makes me wanna die (Everything about me makes me wanna die) Now you got it But Jeremy, soon you'll see That if you listen to me, listen to me That everything about you is going to be wonderful (We love everything about you) Everything about you is going to be so alive (We could never live without you) You won't feel left out or unsure You won't be ugly anymore because Everything about you is going to be cool And powerful Popular Incredible You wi-i-ill Be more chill! I mean, chill Be more chill Be more chill! Be more chill! Be more chill!