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Como sufre el corazón Cuando un amor se va Solo queda el dolor Tristeza y soledad No para de llorar Imposible olvidar Solo queda recordar Este triste corazón Que no puede estar sin ti Necesita de tu calor Necesita de tu amor No puede ya latir Con tanto sufrimiento Se puede el morir Como sufre el corazón Cuando ya no tiene amor Se ha ido la esperanza Se ha ido la ilusión Como sufre el corazón Cuando vive en soledad Ya no tiene aquel cariño Solo tiene aquel adiós Como sufre el corazón Cuando no lo quieren ya Se empieza a marchitar El dolor es un puñal Que lo hace desangrar Con tanta amargura Nadie lo podrá salvar Como sufre el corazón Cuando ya no tiene amor Se ha ido la esperanza Se ha ido la ilusión Como sufre el corazón Cuando vive en soledad Ya no tiene aquel cariño Solo tiene aquel adiós

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish Uh, she used to like to dress up as herself And then act like a fucking bitch all the time My show is a little bit silly And a little bit pretentious Like Shakespeare's willy Or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on It's also a little bit gay And a little bit offensive Like Thanksgiving Day Or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on So, put your cell phones to vibrate And put your vibrators to cell phone mode Welcome to the show, it goes a little something like this Joke, exactly Welcome to my flow, it flows a little something like this With a rap and a dis, and a swift wrap on the wrist A wrap and a kiss, like Hershey's wrapping a kiss Shit, I got a show that'll test ya kids Then ask one question, and that question is What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, f-funny What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, oh, yeah Humor is often linked to shared experience Like, a guy gets up and says "Have you noticed that public restrooms have really inefficient hand-dryers?" Oh, my god! Yes, I have! Ha-ha-ha, really good point They should fix that... It's good to know that somebody finally gets me Because my wife divorced me, which subconsciously forced me To lose all sense of self So, it's nice to think about hand-dryers and not that cheating whore Because stand-up comedy is actually pretty easy If you're an Asian comic, just get up and say "My mother's got the weirdest fucking accent" Then just do a Chinese accent Because everybody laughs at the Chinese accent Because they privately thought that your people were laughable And now you've given them the chance to express that in public Ah, yeah If you're a musical comic Just give 'em a little weird voice inflection Then take a Viagra and slap them With a rock-hard misdirection What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, f-funny Tourettes! What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny Oh, and the audience says "When I was a baby, maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys" Now, I'm older and bolder And just get mad, 'cause I notice that the keys are to a Hummer Fuck my life, I don't fuck my wife So, fuck my wife and fuck my life And my son is gay but not "sitcom gay" Daughter's a whore like another girl that used to be her mother But the marriage made her "Miss Merry Americana" I wanna teen without screaming prima-donna But radical feminists made my wife a man Oh And if I die happy the situation will be Autoerotic asphyxiation I hate my life, and it hates me back And my friend is black, but I don't know what to call him So, I just call him "What up, Jamal?" Even though his name is Steve I hate my job, I hate my life Hate my kids, Hate my wife Jews would know I do it, Judas beat me to it I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma! And I masturbate, because I'm the only one Whose standards are low enough to fuck me What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, f-funny It's a boy What's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? What's funny, what's funny, what's funny? Funny, yeah Hopefully this

Ya pasé la página (ya pasé la página) Es que tus celo', tus pelea' agotaron mi estamina (mi estamina) Y ahora tengo otra baby que se menea como tú ni te imaginas (Lu-Lu) Si me tira, le contesto pa' caerle de una Pa' bajarle la luna (oh-oh) Y tú pasaste a ser un recuerdo (oh) Puedo verte con otro cabrón, pero ya no me muerdo Ella e' candela en fuego y tú fría como invierno Puedo verte con otro cabrón, pero ya no me muerdo Ya no me muerdo Ya-Ya tú еre' pasado y el pasado no regrеsa (no) Nada de lo que tú haga' con otro me interesa No quiero ni tu friendship, no Que ya tengo otra baby modelando ropa interior Givenchy No vuelva' má' nunca (no-oh) No tengo má' respuesta' para tus pregunta' Mejor sigue la tuya y que te vaya bien Que si te veo con otro, no me vo' a morder (morder) Tú tan fría y ella cálida Ahora to' los polvo' son de calida' En to'a las salida' se ve sólida Ya fuese millonaria con un onlyfans (un onlyfans) Y tú pasaste a ser un recuerdo (oh-oh) Puedo verte con otro cabrón, pero ya no me muerdo Ella e' candela en fuego y tú fría como invierno Puedo verte con otro cabrón, pero ya no me muerdo Ya no me muerdo Ya pasé la página (ya pasé la página) Es que tus celo', tus pelea' agotaron mi estamina (mi estamina) Y ahora tengo otra baby que se menea como tú ni te imaginas (Lu-Lu) Si me tira, le contesto pa' caerle de una Pa' bajarle la luna (oh-oh) (Y tú pasaste a ser un recuerdo) Lu-Lu, Lu-Lu-Lunay (Puedo verte con otro cabrón) YannC (No me muerdo) Full Harmony Yizu' (Ella e' candela en fuego y tú fría como invierno) Los Marcianos (Puedo verte con otro cabrón, pero ya no me muerdo) (Ya no me muerdo) La Family

Aman doktor, canım, kuzum doktor Derdime bir çare Çaresiz dertlere düştüm Doktor, bana bir çare Çaresiz dertlere düştüm Doktor, bana bir çare Mendilimin yeşili, aman aman Ben kaybettim eşimi Al, bu mendil sende, sende dursun Sil gözünün yaşını Al, bu mendil sende, sende dursun Sil gözünün yaşını Αμάν, δεν μου λέτε πού 'ναι αυτός ο doctor; Που γιατρεύει τις πληγές, αχ doctor Που γιατρεύει τις πληγές Για να γιάνει και τις εδικές μου Που 'χω σε πολλές μεριές, αχ doctor Για να γιάνει και τις δικές μου Που 'χω σε πολλές μεριές Aman doktor, canım, kuzum doktor Derdime bir çare Çaresiz dertlere düştüm Doktor, bana bir çare Çaresiz dertlere düştüm Doktor, bana bir çare

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? In the lane snow is glistening A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight Walking in a winter wonderland Gone away is the bluebird Here to stay is a new bird He sings a love song as we go along Walking in a winter wonderland In the meadow we can build a snowman Then pretend that he is Parson Brown He'll say "Are you married?" We'll say "No, man." But you can do the job when you're in town Later on we'll conspire As we dream by the fire To face unafraid the plans that we made Walking in a winter wonderland I'm dreaming of a white Christmas Just like the ones I used to know Where the treetops glisten and children listen To hear sleigh bells in the snow I'm dreaming of a white Christmas With every Christmas card I write May your days be merry and bright And may all your Christmases be white May your days be merry and bright