You know my inside pockets got my outside twin
So badly indisposed, I think I'll dust my bin
And all the while you're making eyes at me
You could be doing something useful, like climbing up a tree
Who knows there may be something lurking, like a koala bear
All the way from down under, but don't ask me where

And on the subject of Australia
And you know some wives
Don't mind when their husbands get home at night?
Know what I mean?
Every time I get home late
My wife says, "Where the hell have you been"

Oh Helen, do be careful lying in the sun
Don't mind what you take off
Long as you've something on
And all the while
You give the neighbors a thrill

You could be doing something useful
Like climbing up a hill
Okay, so hills do not agree with you
Then try one that's flat
Surely there's no better way
That's better than that

And on the subject of alternatives
Did you know some guys
Don't mind when their girlfriends
Get home at night?
Oh, what a dream
If I'm just a minute late
My wife says, "Where the hell have you been"

And all the while you're making eyes, I see
You could be doing something useful
Like climbing over me
Now then there's nothing to be frightened of
I won't let you fall
Dare I say it, I just hope that you'll be enthralled

And on the subject of enthrallment
Do you know some wives
Don't mind when their husbands
Come home at night?
Know what I mean?
Every time I get home late
Mine says, "Where the hell have you been"