Something ain't right Something just ain't right Lord have mercy babe Listen here Tell me when was the last time You brought her roses home from work Tell me when was the last time You rubbed her feet when she said, "They hurt" Tell me when was the last time You bought a card to tell her how you feel Don't even know when was the last time You lit a candle for a late night meal, tell me How long will it be Before you treat her like your queen? And how long will it take Before she starts coming home too late? And how long will it be Before she starts running in the streets? You better take the time to treat her like your lady You probably don't know when was the last time You stopped to open up her car door And tell me when was the last time You heard say, "Baby, do it once more" Tell me when was the last time You didn't have an argument Don't even know when was the last time You told the truth about where you been Now if this don't apply to you Keep doing what you do But if this shoe fits you well Take a minute just to ask yourself How long will it be Before you treat her like your queen? And how long will it take Before she starts coming home too late? And how long will it be Before she starts running in the streets? You better take the time to treat her like your lady Now see what's old to you Is just like new to the next man What you don't do for her She'll find somebody else who can If you don't wanna lose out On the best thing you ever had You better take it from me You'll only end up just a lonely man See I know what I'm talking about How long will it be Before you treat her like your queen? And how long will it take Before she starts coming home too late? And how long will it be Before she starts running in the streets? You better take the time to treat her like your lady How long will it be Before you treat her like your queen? And how long will it take Before she starts coming home too late? And how long will it be Before she starts running in the streets?

Treat her like a lady (Oh, ya mean, I'll show ya man, Celine) (Somebody mind him, somebody mind him block the hit and run, yes) (Somebody mind him, block the hit and run) (Go, what's goes around comes around) (Go, what's goes around comes around) (Go, what's goes around comes around, go, go) "Hear this" All a girl could want a little attention From a man who's strong and not to mention Kiss and caressing her all night long But all that boy wants is to hit and run off He and his friends, they sit and they laugh Going around talking about the girls they used in the past You're gonna get what's coming to you For all the bad, bad things you do to your Lady, treat her like a lady You'll make a good girl crazy If you don't treat like a lady Lady, treat her like a lady You'll make a good girl crazy If you don't treat like a lady (Go, what's goes around comes around, go, go) "Hear it" She stopped going to church, she don't wanna go to school She left with anger when he took her for a fool Even though her friends tell her to just keep cool Didn't tell her from the start to what's he had planned Right in her face with another woman Now she's in jail for attacking her, man You're gonna get what's coming to you For all the bad, bad things you do to your Lady, treat her like a lady You'll make a good girl crazy If you don't treat like a lady Lady, treat her like a lady You'll make a good girl crazy If you don't treat like a lady (Go, what's goes around comes around, go, go) (Treat her like a lady) oh, baby, yeah (Treat her like a lady) baby (Treat her like a lady) baby (Treat her like a lady) oh (Somebody mind him, somebody mind him block the hit and run, yes) (Somebody mind him, block the hit and run) (Somebody mind him, somebody mind him block the hit and run, yes) (Somebody mind him, block the hit and run) (Go, what's goes around comes around) (Go, what's goes around comes around) (Go, what's goes around comes around, go, go) Tell it to her straight, she can take the truth Don't lead her on and on and leave her confused Anyone would rather be alone than be used Don't sit and think you'll hurt her feelings She only wants to know just what the deal is Next time beware of whose heart you're breaking You're gonna get what's coming to you For all the bad, bad things you do to your Lady, treat her like a lady You'll make a good girl crazy If you don't treat like a lady Lady, treat her like a lady You'll make a good girl crazy if you don't Crazy, crazy, oh (Lady, treat her like a lady) I'm in love (Crazy if you don't) Yeah, whats goes around comes around (Treat her like a lady) Treat her like a lady (Crazy if you don't treat like a lady) (Lady, treat her like a lady) (You'll make a good girl crazy) (If you don't treat like a lady) Somebody mind him, somebody mind him block the hit and run (Treat her like a lady) Somebody mind him, block the hit and run, yes (Treat her like a lady) Ooh!

All my friends had to ask me Something they didn't understand How I get all the women In the palm of my hand And I told them to treat her like a lady (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) Do the best you can do (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) You got to treat her like a lady and she'll give in to you Lord you can see, you know what I mean I know you've heard (Treat her like) That the woman (Got to treat her like) Will soon take advantage of you (Treat her like, got to treat her like) Let me tell you (Treat her like) My friend (Got to treat her like) There just ain't no substitute (Treat her like) You ought to treat her like a lady (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) Do the best you can do (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) You got to treat her like a lady and she'll give in to you Lord you can see, you know what I mean Oh, you got to love her (Love her) And tease her (Tease her) But most of all you got to please her (Please her) You got to hold her (Hold her) And want her (Want her) And make her feel you'll always need her (Need her) You know a woman (Woman) Is sentimental (Woman) And so easy to upset (Woman, woman) So make her feel (Feel) That she's for real, yeah (Feal) And she'll give you happiness Whoa, strange as it seems (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) You know you can't treat a woman mean (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) So my friend, there you have it I said it's the easy, simple way If you fail to do this, don't blame her if she looks my way 'Cause I'm gonna treat her like a lady (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) So affectionately (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) I'm going to treat her like a lady And she'll give in to me Lord you can see, you know what I mean Oh, you got to treat her like a lady (Treat her like, got to, got to treat her like) Do the best you can do (Treat her like, you got to, got to treat her like) You got to treat her like a lady

Here's an oldie but goodie Hit it Excuse me What? Can I have your attention? (Mn-hmm) There's just a few things that I've got to mention (Uh-huh) There's girlies out here that seem appealing But they'll come in your life and cold hurt your feelings I'm telling you As Rick is my name I wouldn't trust not girl unless she feels the same Treat 'em like a prostitute (Do What?) Don't treat no girlie well until you're sure of the scoop 'Cause all they do is they hurt and trample Listen up close, here comes my first example Now ya been with your girlfriend for quite a while Plans for the future, she's having your child Celebrate with friends drinking cans and quarts Tell all your friends about your family thoughts One friend was drunk so he starts to act wild He tells the truth about the kid It's not your child Acting like a jerk and on his face was a smirk He said, "Your wife went berserk while you was hard at work" And she led him on and tried to please him She didn't waste time, she didn't try to tease him Treat 'em like a prostitue (Do What?) Don't treat no girlie well until you're sure of the scoop 'Cause all they do is they hurt and trample Listen up close, here comes my second example Now, your wife You buy the tramp jewels and clothes You get sentimental and bring home a rose Give her everything 'cause you swear she's worth it All your friends tell you, "The bith dont' deserve it" Love is blind, so there goes your wealth Until one day, you see things for yourself Home from work early, Mr. Loverman You had a card and some candy in your right hand There's the mailman, he was short yet stout He went inside your house and didn't come back out Bust it Just a friendly stop, come on, is it? The mailman comes and he pays your wife a visit? The thought alone makes your temperature boil You say to yourself, she might still be loyal You open up your door and stand in a trance You see the mailman's bag and the mailman's pants Came home to party From work had a hard day Look around your house and you say, "Where the hell are they?" Run upstairs up to your bedroom You look inside your room, you see something brewin' Cover your mouth because you almost choke You see the mailman's dick way up your wife's throat Treat 'em like a prostitute (Mm-hmm) Don't treat no girlie well Until you're sure of the scoop 'Cause all they do is they hurt and trample Listen up close, here comes my last example Now your girl, she don't like to have sex a lot And today she's ready and she's hot, hot, hot As you open up the door she says, "Get on the floor" She wants to try things she's never tried before She takes off your drawers and works you over She calls you Twinkles And you call her Rover Next thing you know, the ho starts to ill She says, "I love you, Harold" and your name is Will That's not the half 'til you start to ride her Take off your rubber and there's one more inside her It's not yours-who can it be? I think it was a slick rapper, his name is M.C. Ricky Treat 'em like a prostitute Don't treat no girlie well, treat no girlie well Treat no girlie well, until you're sure of the scoop

I'm only half drunk If you were thinkin' of pourin' more wine It's only midnight And I got nothin', nothin' but time Is it half empty or half full? This glass of mine I'm only half wrong If you were thinkin' 'bout stayin' this time It's only midnight And I got nothin', nothin' but time It may be half-baked But I've got lots, lots of ideas Hey darlin', here's one Won't you come and lend me your ear? Like Mona Lisa gave old Da Vinci that half smile I'll paint a picture that will half convince you I'm fine It's only midnight And I've got nothin', nothin' but time I got half a mind to tell you 'bout it, brother It's always six of one, and half a dozen of the other This or that, tit for tat My baby's on the line I'm always only half the way to makin' her all mine I'm only half drunk If you'll be buyin' one more round I've been half crazy Tryin' to simmer, simmer on down You see half the people, but only half of half of the time Tell me, how can a nickel stand right up to a dime? I'm only half drunk This night is half gone And I'll be long gone before too long It's only midnight And I've got nothin', nothin' but time I'm only half drunk If you were thinkin' of pourin' more wine

She came down from Cincinatti It took her three days on a train Looking for some peace and quiet Hoped to see the sun again But now she lives down by the ocean She's taking care to look for sharks They hang out in the local bars And they feed right after dark Can't you feel them circling, honey? Can't you feel them swimming around? You got fins to the left, fins to the right And you're the only bait in town Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh-woah You got fins to the left, fins to the right And you're the only girl in town She's saving up all of her money Wants to hit it south in may Maybe roll in the sand with a rock 'n roll man Somewhere down Monserat Way But the money's good, and the season Helps to lighten up her load Boys keep her high as the months go by She's getting post cards from the road Can't you feel them closing in, honey? Can't you feel them schooling around? You got fins to the left, fins to the right And you're the only girl in town Sailed off to Antigua It took her three days on a boat Looking for some peace and quiet Maybe keep her dreams afloat But now she feels like A remora With the school still close at hand Just behind the reef are the big white teath Of the sharks that can swim on the land Can't you feel them circling, honey? Can't you feel them schoolin' around? You got fins to the left, fins to the right And you're the only bait in town You got fins to the left, fins to the right And you're the only girl in town

Way down here, you need a reason to move Feel a fool running your stateside games Lose your load, leave your mind behind Baby, James Oh, Mexico It sounds so simple, I just got to go The sun's so hot, I forgot to go home I guess I'll have to go now Americano's got the sleepy eyes But his body's still shakin' like a live wire Senorita with her eyes on fire Don't you know Oh, Mexico It sounds so sweet with the sun sinkin' low The moon so bright likes to light up the night Make everything alright Baby's hungry and the money's all gone The folks back home don't want to talk on the phone She gets a long letter and sends back a postcard Times are hard Oh, down in Mexico I've never really been, so I don't really know Oh-oh-oh, Mexico I guess I'll have to go now Oh, Mexico I've never really been but I'd sure like to go Oh-oh-oh, Mexico I guess I'll have to go now Talkin' 'bout Mexico (Mexico) Little honkey tonk down in Mexico South of Margaritaville, I've been told Andale, Andale, vamonos Oh, yeah, let's load this cast of characters on that boat and head south Oh, yeah, we got a wind at our back Smooth sailin' all the way We got old Nordstrom, he's our chef He's down in that galley cookin' up a Barometer Soup for us We gotta stop at our offshore Bank of Bad Habits And make a deposit or a withdrawal I don't know which one, y'know? We're goin' down to the land of the Mayans Yeah, they were here long before the cavemen were Cavemen in blue jeans, oh, excuse me, that's not Politically Correct That's cave persons in blue jeans Skip, Wiley and Skink, we may run into them Up to no good down there Watch out for those barefoot children Stompin' around in those puddles Oh, yeah, and that remittance man He's just goin' 'round and 'round He may run into 'ol Frank Bama Cruisin' around in the Hemisphere Dancer I don't know, I might have my Long Board down there