Johnny was a bad boy, he was a juvenile delinquent
He had his picture on the wall of every precinct
He had a rep of hanging out with his homies
Puffing on the blunts and sipping on the forties
But when he spoke, nobody would listen
And when he was home, yo his parents they would dis him

They called him a bum, a worthless piece of shit
So over this he had a fit
And now he grabs his bag and heads for the door
And walks to the neighborhood liquor store
Pulls out a gun, tells the old man, "Hit the floor!"
Then breaks open his register drawer

Pulls out the money, stuffs it in his pocket
Points his pistol, then he starts to cock it
The man panics and the gun goes off
Stupid old fool made Johnny blow his head off

But he don't care 'cause Johnny was taught
It ain't a crime if you don't get caught

It ain't a crime if you don't get caught
It ain't a crime if you don't get caught
It ain't a crime if you don't get caught
That's how it is, homie, like it or not

Now coming out the store, Johnny shot two Hasidic Jews
And when he got home, his face was on the news
His mom freaked out, told him, "Get the fuck out!"
That's when the pigs rolled up, so yo, he ducked out

He hit the back door like his name was Carl Lewis
Dipped to the payphone to find out where his crew is
He called up his homeboy Jose
"What up? Can I come over my man?"
He said, "No way!
A cop was here, he was looking all over for ya
But I told the pig I didn't know ya"

He said, "Cool, meet me up at the school
I need a ride 'cause I'm wanted for homicide"
Johnny's got a gun and he's on the run
But he don't care, to him the shit's fun
Now that he's an outlaw, sorta like Robin Hood
The hard rock hero of the whole neighborhood

If they catch him, he'll wind up in court
But it ain't a crime if you don't get caught

It ain't a crime if you don't get caught
It ain't a crime if you don't get caught
It ain't a crime if you don't get caught
That's how it is, homie, like it or not

It ain't a crime if you don't get caught
It ain't a sale if it don't get bought
It ain't a show if I don't get paid
She ain't a hoe if you don't get laid