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Written by Larry David - Slacker Diaries

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@Aroa
0
28 Sec

Written by Larry David - song lyrics

Roommates are very hard to please
Can't even get away with
Keeping my keys on my belt loop
What kind of petty shit is that?
Already put on my shoes on the welcome mat

If I could relate to anybody, it'd be Costanza
'Cause my life is plagued by minor inconveniences
And I can't stand it ("Can't stand ya!")

Helps build character though
But at what cost?
Can't even seem to keep a girl for a week
And then I'm chasing her
Halfway across the country

I wish life was like Seinfeld
So I could have a laugh track over
Every time that I got hurt
By a girl or by a friend
I really want this episode to end

So I can move on to see you
Nothing left in my room but a bed
And that's all that's left to remind me
Of you, after you left ("I think it moved")

When you walked in on one of them naked
Pretty sure he hadn't just been swimming
So he couldn't even fake it ("I was in the pool!")

I can't take it
Don't understand a word of what the
Baby downstairs is crying about
Wish I could be more sympathetic
But I'm not bilingual
Unless we talkin' Mexican! ("We speak Spanish, pendejo")

Car Seat Headrest got me in the rear
Recording vocals so my roommates wouldn't hear
Although in my room is where I'll produce beats
Only sound you hear is me tapping at the keys

On the laptop even though I got a MIDI
But the connection's loose
So that was kind of a waste of my money
One more thing to strip my pride from me
If my life were televised I'd maybe find it a bit more funny

I wish life was like Seinfeld
So I could have a laugh track over
Every time that I got hurt
By a girl or by a friend
I really want this episode to end

Our relationship might have started out
A bit too physical for me
And that is not what I'm into
I'd rather get to know you
Before I see your skin

Should I stay or should I go?
Finally established myself somewhere
Other than my hometown
But everyone I know is gone
Except my roommates and their unending problems

Roommates are very hard to please
Can't even get away with making my smoothie
In the morning before work
Gotta do it the night before
The consistency won't be the same
And I can't drink it anymore

I wish life was like Seinfeld
So I could have a laugh track over
Every time that I got hurt
By a girl or by a friend
I really want this song to end

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30
@Bo
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You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes It's like you kill me by design You're all I desire You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes I could cross the great divide But only you decide Tell me you love me Tell me you need me Tell me that you'll never ever go think about wanting to leave me You're Aphrodite, God I'm in love It's time you ascend to your rightful place perched on your throne up above Go and take your seat at Mount Olympus I'll do anything for you, my temptress Even if I'm innocent, I'd confess Kill to watch you undress Feel your body close pressed up Up Against mine Heart beats In time Feel your chest rise You're all I desire You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes It's like you kill me by design You're all I desire You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes I could cross the great divide But only you decide Yeah, we're like Romeo and Juliet Montague and Capulet Let them scream their threats Let them all object Let them get upset I'd die right here with no regrets Cause I defy you stars And I won't worship Mars If it's a war they want I'll disappoint because You're my only god And we don't fight, we love On the stars above I swear I won't give up Tell me every single thing you need from me I'd do anything for you my deity Your wish is my command And I'm your slave you see Give me my sin again You are my queen You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes It's like you kill me by design You're all I desire You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes I could cross the great divide But only you decide Tell me you love me Tell me you need me Tell me you love me Tell me you need me Tell me you love me Tell me you need me Tell me you love me Up (up) Against mine Heart, beats in time Feel your chest rise You're all I desire You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes It's like you kill me by design You're all I desire You're like a goddess in disguise I'm drowning slowly in your eyes I could cross the great divide But only you decide
20
@Noor
151
Oh Lord, have mercy, come again, come again I'm makin' other people's pussycats max if your nookie That's good for your voice, plump, trump and moist Rub me where you love me, face to waist, I'm taster's choice Plenty, many ladies try to pay me, though lady I got the motts but worse, I cost a lot baby, baby Kitty kat hittin' kid from the corner on a quest to rest in your nest Straight from my shower to your sauna, yup! Next crew, this ain't no Pepé Le Pew This is what we do, ménage à trois we do Too mean, too mad, too much to handle Name is written like a mark and lit that kitten with a candle And if ya go court on that have a rate court stuff Come take a shortcut to Fort Nuts! Many praise the way we play Well, you know, what can I say? Hit 'em low! Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me? (Hopin' she's open, G) Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me? On and on, I coulda sworn I saw puddy cat City titty cat, witty, pretty cat Oh where the hell is kitty cat Pretty patter craps, then I lick her paw, looks like a thicker broad Thick as a brick, time to pick her draws Now every time her waterfall flows I'm at the tip of her toes, goin' "Yo, GERONIMO!" Got my name written in missiles Capitals, lower-case, show your face, cursive and big initials I mow the lawn every season, call me Mr. Green Thumb 'Cause I'm pushin' bushes, givin' mean ones Cook up the stew and keep steppin' I started another life with your wife after we met at y'all reception I saw your thing down in the ditches Now she does kev, does head, the dirty laundry, plus the dishes Before the hittin', throw on your mitten And don't stop stickin' until it's written on her kitten Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me? (Hopin' she's open, G) Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me? Hallelujah! Hip Hop Hooray! I'm up six hours early, it's a kitten hittin' day The dog catcher doesn't speak, his moves switches 'Cause I catch the pussycat and he catches all the bitches I go for cats, plus I ball hard 'Cause you can never get the purr or the fur from a bulldog So I'm back for the cat, give up the nappy, skat So I can take a cat nap Oh yeah, I like my pussycat deep So if she's tired or sleep, I have some place to soak my feet I see some lookin' for a bigger knot, what a nigga got Just make sure there's satin sheets in your litter box That's when they hit us with our props Make sure the room is hot and locked With "Gangsta Bitch" in the boombox I hit it chill and leave happily And if somebody knocks it after me, there'll be a catastrophe You don't ever let me get a little bit For the kibbles 'n bits, I hit for nipples and tits! (Nipples and tits!) Always do the hittin' with a lubricated mitten Some do lickin', stickin' just to get it written on a kitten Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me? (Hopin' she's open, G) Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me? Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me? (Hopin' she's open, G) Oh, where's my kitty kat, where's my kitty cat at, strokin' me?
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Set Written by Larry David ringtone on an Android Phone:

1. Select Download Ringtone button above.
2. Go to Settings app.
3. Select Sounds & Vibration.
4. Select Phone ringtone.
5. Select Ringtone from Internal Storage.
6. Click the Apply button.
So after only a few basic steps, you have successfully done the default ringtone on your phone running Android operating system with the pop songs you want.



Set Written by Larry David ringtone for your iPhone:

1. Select Download M4R for iPhone button above and save to your PC or Mac.
2. Connect your iPhone to your PC or Mac via its charging cable.
3. Launch iTunes and drag the .m4r to the Tones folder (Under "On My Device").
Hopefully, the guides for configuring ringtones for iPhones and Android phones will make it simple for you to replace the uninteresting default sounds on your phone with your own personal favorites.



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