I know what you're thinking I know I did you wrong But I just got this feeling Baby please hold on The way we used to dance We forgot the steps We both lost our balance Now I drink to forget Whiskey and wine Killing me shot at a time You pour the liquor in the cup and then you swirl it around Cause, you don't remember if you're up or you're down (up or you're down) A temporary fix Or moment's elixir Yeah and I will say I put my hand up in the air and I won't do it again, naw (put my hand) Can't promise it because I don't pretend to know (to know what) What the price I pay Yeah yeah Not a remedy for a thing and I will do it again, naw Whiskey and wine Killing me shot at a time Whiskey and wine Killing me shot at a time

Once upon a time our world was on fire And I loved to watch it burn Wild and reckless, never any limits Guess I had a lot to learn 'Cause fire turns to ember, embers to ashes that blow away too soon Now everything's after you is like Having wine after whiskey It went from do anything for you, babe To you don't even miss me Once you've tasted a love that strong you can't go back And you can't settle on anything less And that's what gets me It's like having wine after whiskey Looking back I guess it was really for the best Still you're something that I crave Even though I know it was right to let you go You're a habit hard to break I got used to being high and nothing that I try seems good enough right now It's all so watered down Like having wine after whiskey It went from do anything for you, babe To you don't even miss me Once you've tasted a love that strong You can't go back and you can't settle on anything less And that's what gets me It's like having wine after whiskey Once you've tasted a love that strong you can't go back And you can't settle on anything less And that's what gets me It's like having wine It's like having wine After whiskey

I'm feeling lonely Got you on my mind I swear I'll quit drinking this time But it's getting harder Letting your memory go Your warm sweet touch with a heart so cold You tell me you love me But where are you now? I wanna believe you somehow Wherever you are I hope that you're fine I'll be here drinking My whiskey and your wine I see you around From time to time Thinking about those moments Where I was yours and you were mine My friends said to let go But they don't understand You're more than a memory With my heart in your hand You tell me you love me But where are you now? I wanna believe you somehow Wherever you are I hope that you're fine I'll be here drinking My whiskey and your wine I'll be here drinking My whiskey and your wine

Rye whiskey Rye whiskey Rye whiskey and wine I get all misty every time There's just old rags and pain cans and old turpentine Everyone's leaving, they shut down the mine They cleaned out the storefront and they took the stained glass They pulled out the trani and they syphoned the gas Shiver me timbers, shiver my spine I drink to the sawmills and the western white pine So hitch up the horses 'cause I feel just fine I'll ride them to Carmacks and I'll bring back more wine The chapel, the legion and the freemason hall They left all the keys here it's like I own them all So I'll buy the next round since we're frozen in time Don't bother calling I cut all the lines

Louis: It seems today, that all you see is violence in movies, and sex on T. V. Peter: But where are those good old-fashioned values, on which we used to rely? Brian: It used to be, a big time star was elegant as Garbo, or Hedy Lamarr. Stewie: But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez, you want to curl up and die. Lucky theres a Family Guy. Lucky theres a man who positively can do all the things that make us- Stewie: Laugh and cry! Hes a Family Guy! Louis: When I was young, the songs were fair, with Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and Cher. Peter: But now we get Justin Timber-homo. Louis: A heartache all gone awry! Brian: The classic films were works of arts, the images were graceful, the stories were smart. Stewie: But now we get Matrix Revolution, Im sorry I know this doesnt rhyme, but what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?! Lucky theres a family guy, lucky theres a fella, sweeter than vanilla, wholesome as a piece of- Stewie: Apple Pie! Hes a family guy! Lois: His smiles a simple delight. Chris: He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites. Lois: Peter! Meg: He bought me my cute little hat. Brian: Yeah we should have a talk about that. About that! And his hat! Brian: Hes mastered the comedy arts. Stewie: He says, Look out, Hiroshima! Then casually farts. (fart sound effect) Lois: Hes loaded with sexy appeal. Peter: And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel! Brian: No thank you. Stewie: I gave it the office. Lois: The Brady Bunch has got their Mike and pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke. But who around here could fill those loafers? But heres a happy reply. Lucky theres a family guy. Lucky theres a man who positively can do all the thing that make us- Stewie: Laugh and Cry! Hes a Family Guy! Hes a Family Guy!!! Lois: Oh My! Thank you very much! What a welcome. Peter: I am gunna buy each and every one of you a beer after the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Im kidding for Christs sake, Im not serious. Thats expensive! Look, just the fact that I came up with the idea should tell you Im generous; I shouldnt actually have to spend any money. Meg: Uh, can we turn the spotlight down a bit? Brian: Yeah, it is a little bright. Stewie: You know Brian, I- I just noticed something. With that light shining on you from that angle, you look a lot like Jamie Farr. Brian: Yeah, youve told me that before and uh, its interesting, because Im thinking you look a lot like Britney Spears. Stewie: Really?! How so? Brian: Well, you- you got that thing going on with your eyes like Britney does. You know where You know how her eyes are just like a hair too far apart? Uh, a- a- almost like there was some immediate post-birth surgery that should have been done but it was the south, so they didnt have the medical technology. Stewie: Oh, I see. Chris: Mom! Lois: Yes honey? Chris: I have a wedgie. Lois: Chris, honey, wait until the intermission. Then you can fix it. Peter: Well, we got a lot of fun stuff lined up here tonight. We got music, we got comedy, we got behind the scenes crap from the show. Lois: Thats right! For example, not a lot of people know this, but in one episode of the show there was a flashback of Brian when he was a puppy. Now, they couldnt find a puppy who looked enough like him, so they actually built a dog suit for the scene, and the actor of inside the suit was Raven- Symoné, who was Olivia on the Cosby show. Brian: Fascinating bit of trivia. Peter: All right, okay, I got one for ya. You know the sound stage where we shoot Family Guy is the same stage where they shot the Golden Girls back in the 80s, right? Now one of the stage hands was telling me a- a pretty intense story. I guess there was one night when they were all ready to shoot, and uh, the audience was waiting. And uh, nobody could find Bea Arthur. So everybodys freaking out and uh, then one of the producers runs in and says Cancel the show tonight. Bea Arthurs in jail! Lois: Oh My God! Peter: Yeah. Apparently she had a little too much to drink before the show and uh, they found her standing on the street corner, exposing her penis to traffic. Brian: Oh My God! Meg: Ew! Thats Disgusting! Peter: Can you believe that? Brian: Wait a minute. How the hell can Bea Arthur have a penis? Peter: Eh, special permit. Stewie: I say, what is it with these actors? Theyre perfectly normal people in civilian life and then they come out to Hollywood and just go fucking berserk. Brian: You gotta watch your language, kid. Stewie: Oh, its a record album for Gods sake. Lets cut loose a bit. Chris: Nipples! Hehe. Stewie: Perfect example. Although I must say I am amazed at the language you can get away with on television these days. I- I was watching Law and Order the other night and I swear to god, I heard someone use the word balls. And I thought to myself, My God, that- that Dick Wolf just does whatever he damn well pleases, doesnt he? Bringing words like balls into Americas living rooms. I wonder how hed like it if I just walked into his living room a- and use the word balls. Brian: Uh I think that would be breaking and entering. Lois: You know, I am so glad they allowed us to bring Stewie this evening. The last show we did we had to leave him at home. They didnt allow babies in the theater. Brian: Well of course. People wanted to be able to enjoy the show Stewie: I am a show you lack-witted beetle head! Ugh! Oh what a night that was. My babysitter was a total bitch. Lois: Stewie! Thats very rude. Especially since your babysitter is here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff. Hailey Duff: Hi Mr. And Mrs. Griffin Peter: Howre ya, sweetheart? Lois: So was it really that bad babysitting Stewie? Hailey Duff: You want the truth? Well, okay. So after you and Peter left for dinner, I- No. Wait a minute. Lets tell this story right. Please.