If I were a human being
I'd head straight for New Orleans
And I'd blow this horn so hot and strong
Like no one they've ever seen
You've heard of Louis Armstrong
Mr. Sidney Bechet
All those boys gonna step aside
When they hear this old ex-gator play, listen

When I'm human
As I hope to be
I'm gonna blow this horn
'Til the cows come home
And everyone's gonna bow down to me

Thank you, thank you
Mwah, mwah, aw, thank you
I love you too, baby

When I'm myself again
I want just the life I had
A great big party every night
That doesn't sound too bad
A redhead on my left arm
A brunette on my right
A blonde or two to hold the candles
Now that seems just about right
Eh, Louis?
Life is short
When you're done, you're done
We're on this earth
To have some fun
And that's the way things are

When I'm human
And I'm gonna be
I'm gonna tear it up like I did before
And that's the royal guarantee

Your modesty becomes you
And your sense of responsibility
I've worked hard for everything I've got
And that's the way it's supposed to be
When I'm a human being
At least I'll act like one
If you do your best each and every day
Good things are sure to come your way
What you give is what you get
My daddy said that
And I'll never forget
And I'll recommend it to you

When we're human
And we're gonna be
I'm gonna blow my horn
I'm gonna live the high life
I'm gonna do my best
To take my place in the sun
When we're human