When It Was Chaotic (Acoustic) - Emilia Tarrant

What if It never changes My pain is endless And that's it And what if I'm always healing Forever pining For sanity But now life has ceased And the storm's calmed its breeze Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head Maybe I preferred when I was a mess everyday in my bed And I couldn't handle it then But I can't take emotionless Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head What if The ache just worsens My bones can't balance a skeleton But now life has ceased And to stone my numb feeling Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head Maybe I preferred when I was a mess everyday in my bed And I couldn't handle it then But I can't take emotionless Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic It's not easy Feeling nothing Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head Maybe I preferred when I was a mess everyday in my bed And I couldn't handle it then But I can't take emotionless Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic

Where was I going? It was so nice there in the moment Guess it was boring Knowing you'd be there in the morning I thought it would be said and done When I walked out of the door That I closed then Could you tell me if it's still open? The leaves were turning red, and the air was getting colder I couldn't tell if it was love, or just October Started to regret it when I left you on the corner I guess the weather wasn't why I want you closer I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm wondering if I should call 'Cause now I'm in bed, wishing we were on your sofa Why did the feeling start when it was over? Well, there I said it Hope it's not too late to regret it 'Cause wow, you look happy And it hurts that you're not smiling at me I (I wish, I wish, I wish) wish I could go back in time Choose the other side of the door That I closed then Could you tell me if it's still open? The leaves were turning red, and the air was getting colder I couldn't tell if it was love, or just October Started to regret it when I left you on the corner I guess the weather wasn't why I want you closer I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm wondering if I should call 'Cause now I'm in bed, wishing we were on your sofa Why did the feeling start when it was over? Well, now I'm here, and now you're there I let you go, too proud to care And, oh, isn't is so ironic? Now it's me who's falling hard And reminiscing, looking back I wish I knew I wanted that I wish I knew I wanted that I wish I knew I want you back The leaves were turning red, and the air is getting colder I couldn't tell if it was love, or just October And I regret it how I left you on the corner I guess the weather wasn't why I want you closer I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm wondering if I should call 'Cause now I'm in bed, wishing we were on your sofa Why did the feeling start when it was over?

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down 'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name It all just sounds like oooooh... Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize That I should've bought you flowers And held your hand Should've gave you all my hours When I had the chance Take you to every party 'Cause all you wanted to do was dance Now my baby's dancing But she's dancing with another man My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh... And it haunts me every time I close my eyes It all just sounds like oooooh... Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize That I should've bought you flowers And held your hand Should've gave you all my hours When I had the chance Take you to every party 'Cause all you wanted to do was dance Now my baby's dancing But she's dancing with another man Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong Oh, I know I'm probably much too late To try and apologize for my mistakes But I just want you to know I hope he buys you flowers I hope he holds your hand Give you all his hours When he has the chance Take you to every party 'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance Do all the things I should have done When I was your man Do all the things I should have done When I was your man

When my back was against the wall, she called me names When I was feeling small, she called me names Molly said she had to go, it don't seem right Just when I was feeling low, we had to fight Don't you know, don't you know Don't you know, don't you now Gladly I would give a piece of mind to live without her Gladly I would give a piece of mind to live without her When my sky was turning grey, she'd bring me down Couldn't face another day, she'd bring me down Well many times she said she'd go, but she would stay I didn't really thnk that she would go away Don't you know, don't you know... When my confidence was low, she'd turn away Didn't know which way to go, she'd turn away

You hold me like a baby newborn You love me like the ocean loves the shore But every time I see your face these days It's the same I pray to talk 'til three AM And I need you like a bloodstream needs a vein But every time you pull that same face I go insane So where will the circles end? And when will it all make sense? 'Cause we fight, we cry, we hug, we fight again And how will we mend our minds? Goodbye to the grief abide 'Cause I don't wanna let go I don't wanna see us go to waste The honeymoon phase Who's liability is it this time? God only knows what's wrong and what's right No meaning to I'm sorry, give me strength Lost words to fill my minds empty space So where will the circles end? And when will it all make sense? 'Cause we fight, we cry, we hug, we fight again And how will we mend our minds? Goodbye to the grief abide 'Cause I don't wanna let go I don't wanna see us go to waste The honeymoon phase And it washes away Life strikes the face And I try to find A smile to hide the pain But if I saw you cry And if you left my side I know I'd die inside So where will the circles end? And when will it all make sense? 'Cause we fight, we cry, we hug, we fight again And how will we mend our minds? Goodbye to the grief abide 'Cause I don't wanna let go I don't wanna see us go to waste No I don't wanna let go I don't want our love to fade to grey The honeymoon phase

I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight I just need a moment in my own space Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say "okay", yeah But ain't that what we all say? Sometimes I think back to the old days In the pointless conversations with the old me Back when my momma used to hold me Wish somebody woulda told me If you want love, you're gonna have to go through the pain If you want love, you're gonna have to learn how to change, oh If you want trust, you're gonna have to give some away If you want love, if you want love Yeah, and as a kid I used to think life Is moving so slow, I watch it go by Look out the window on my bus ride I thought the world was so small, through my closed eyes I've always tried to control things In the end that's what controls me Maybe that's why I'm controlling Wish somebody woulda told me If you want love, you're gonna have to go through the pain If you want love, you're gonna have to learn how to change, oh If you want trust, you're gonna have to give some away If you want love, if you want love The older I get, I feel like I'm always tryna save time Talkin' to the voices in my head, they make me think twice Tellin' me it doesn't mean it's wrong because it feels right I'm scared that one day I wake up and wonder where the time go Talk about the past like it's the present while I rock slow I'll sit in the living room and laugh with kids of my own And tell 'em If you want love, you're gonna have to go through the pain If you want love, you're gonna have to learn how to change I wish somebody woulda told me If you want trust, you're gonna have to give some away If you want love, if you want love And I wish somebody, oh I wish somebody, oh, oh, oh I wish somebody, oh Woulda told me Woulda told me If you want love If you want love If you want love If you want love

I wake you up with a coffee And I iron your shirt Listening to your worries As I drive you to work So you know that I care When you get lost in your head sometimes And that's alright, cause so do I Late conversations With the earliest start Cause a problem that's shared Is a problem that's halved And I'll always be there When you get lost in your head sometimes And that's alright, cause so do I Signs like, sirens But the silence is deafening I, I'd do it over and over again I'll be the reason you get out of bed Cause you would do the same for me You, you tell me over and over again I am the reason you're trying your best But you would do the same for me Whenever you need, there I'll be Cause you would do the same for me When I was stuck at my lowest You would call every day Back then I tried not to show it But something gave it away Maybe you understood Cause you get lost in your head sometimes And that's alright, cause so do I Signs like, sirens But the silence is deafening I, I'd do it over and over again I'll be the reason you get out of bed Cause you would do the same for me You, you tell me over and over again I am the reason you're trying your best But you would do the same for me Whenever you need, there I'll be Cause you would do the same for me You'd do the same You'd do the same for me You'd do the same You'd do the same for me I, I'd do it over and over again I'll be the reason you get out of bed Cause you would do the same for me You, you tell me over and over again I am the reason you're trying your best But you would do the same for me Whenever you need, there I'll be Cause you would do the same for me

We're lying in bed like parallel lines Something so wrong, with something so right We stare at the ceiling, every night Looking for an answer Don't know why we bother Said we can fix this, it's only a bruise Feels like our love is, in all kinds of blues Can't shake it off like we used to do And if i'm being honest I don't know how we solve this It's your fault, if anybody's keeping the score And it's my call, but we can't drag it out anymore I wanna Tell you I love you no hesitation It's killing me, no exaggeration Now we just dance round the situation It's like I'm losing you In slow motion Sometimes I forget, between all the gestures The sorry's and date nights, the handwritten letters Some days I think that, that we're doin' better Then I remember, and the pain rolls in like bad weather It's your fault, if anybody's keeping the score And it's my call, but we can't drag it out anymore I wanna Tell you I love you no hesitation It's killing me, no exaggeration Now we just dance round the situation It's like I'm losing you In slow motion Tell you I love you no hesitation It's killing me, no exaggeration Now we just dance round the situation It's like I'm losing you In slow motion Ooo, losing you in slow motion, I'm losing You, losing you in slow motion, I'm losing You

What if It never changes My pain is endless And that's it And what if I'm always healing Forever pining For sanity But now life has ceased And the storm's calmed its breeze Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head Maybe I preferred when I was a mess everyday in my bed And I couldn't handle it then But I can't take emotionless Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head What if The ache just worsens My bones can't balance a skeleton But now life has ceased And to stone my numb feeling Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head Maybe I preferred when I was a mess everyday in my bed And I couldn't handle it then But I can't take emotionless Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic It's not easy Feeling nothing Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic in my head Maybe I preferred when I was a mess everyday in my bed And I couldn't handle it then But I can't take emotionless Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic Maybe I preferred it when it was chaotic