Heard that they said that it's rainin men But the offer that I make, it won't be made again You don't have to write, you don't have to call It's a one-time offer for nothing at all And there's no red tape, I don't make it hard You don't need cash money or a Master Card I got easy terms, and a lay-away But I need a quick decision, and I need it today And if you find that you don't like my ways Well, you can send me back in 30 days Now have you ever seen a man with a guarantee? Well you're lookin at him now, cause the man is me And if you don't believe all the things I say I'm certified 'prime' by the USDA Now the name that I use is DJ Run And I'm a fast-talkin slow-walkin number one And if you don't believe all the words I say Then you're a natural born fool who's got to be that way I got a 50 rating and a 50 share Every minute, every hour that I'm on the air And when I come to town, I'm on a big marquee It says (DJ Run) and me, D.M.C. And if you find that you don't like my ways Well, you can send me back in 30 days A good job and lots of money might not be enough And to satisfy your needs it may be rough But I take some care and treat you nice And if it ain't sufficient once, I cold work it out twice And if you find that you don't like my ways Well, you can send me back in 30 days I'm gonna give you everything that you ever need If you need a pint of blood, then I'll even bleed If you're lookin for a car, I will buy you two And if you're lookin for a pet, I'll buy a kangaroo If you need a vacation, we can fly the world And you'll know I'll never look at another girl I'm a single-minded man, and my mind is set You're the lady of the '80s that I'm gonna get And if you find you don't like my ways Well, you can send me back in 30 days