Took Too Much Acid After 12 Pints of Guinness - Craig Ferguson

Evelyn sits by the elevator doors It's been 37 years since James died On St. Patrick's Day, 1964 She could not hold it against him There were times when there was nothing she could do But lie in bed all day Beside a picture of them together A picture of better days And just like James, I'll be drinking Irish tonight With the memory of his last work week will be gone forever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight If we're never together, if I'm never back again Well, I swear to God that I'll love you forever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight In all the years that went by She said she'd always love him And from the day that he died She never loved again And in his wallet she kept on her nightstand An AA card and a lock of red hair Kept secrets of pride locked so tight in her heart It killed a part of her before the rest was gone She said, "If I would have known just how things would have ended up I just would have let myself die" And just like James, I'm drinking Irish tonight With the memory of his last work week will be gone forever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight If we're never together, if I'm never back again Well, I swear to God that I'll love you forever Evelyn, I'm not coming home tonight

I pretend it's fine, really alright But I hear the sighing Bleeding into the room Prone to selfish revision The details may be light Destination's known It comes as no surprise The collision I can brace myself for the alarm The decision I debate myself, break myself All for what? So predictable Too much, enough, oh A talk show that cannot help but hurt Swimming in sweat Television set Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough Experts standing by Ten at a time Kindly remind me To take some time (Ooh, ooh) I'd like to breathe and consider A gentler redesign Expectations low But that's not what I like It's just So predictable Too much, enough, oh A talk show that cannot help but hurt Swimming in sweat Television set Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough Neverending ride Open my eyes If I need reminding It's So predictable Too much, enough, oh A talk show that cannot help but hurt Swimming in sweat Television set Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough So predictable I can't take this anymore, oh Swimming in sweat Television set Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough, oh (Too much!) Too much, enough

You think you're doing everything right Well you're wrong Thought you would do everything right I was wrong I was wrong Asking why you're not picking up Baby are we breaking up It's been so long Can hear your voice in my head You said you loved me all along Or where you leading me on Now I know it's true That all of them said You're not who you said you'd be You said that you'd keep all of your loyalty Was I just a stupid girl for Believing that you loved everything about me Holding on so tightly Keep all of your loyalty Why you'd hold so tightly If you're not capable of loyalty I don't think you know what you're doing is wrong I love you we said How could I think that we belonged together Ask you if you're going out Other things I don't know about We're rushing in Can hear your voice in my head You said you loved me all along Or where you leading me on Now I know it's true That all of them said You're not who you said you'd be You said that you'd keep all of your loyalty Was I just a stupid girl for Believing that you loved everything about me Holding on so tightly Keep all of your loyalty Why you'd hold so tightly If you're not capable of loyalty Don't try to make everything better I need the truth Not your hand or sweater Don't make a move I don't want your love letters I can't tell if I'm being used You're not who you said you'd be You said that you'd keep all of your loyalty Was I just a stupid girl for Believing that I could get so lucky Holding on so tightly Keep all of your loyalty Why you'd hold so tightly If you're not capable of loyalty

Stopped inviting me to parties Does that give you some satisfaction Scraped my door with your car keys Now you're driving me to distraction And you making me feel like I'm messed up in the head Even though it's you Who messed things up instead Never talk to you again Hopefully I forget Everything you did to me Like to call yourself my friend But you're back stabbing Wish I never met you Christine Christine Christine Christine Starting saying things about me I think that you have an obsession Guess I'd rather be lonely Than rely on you for attention And you making me feel like I'm messed up in the head Even though it's you Who messed things up instead Never talk to you again Hopefully I forget Everything you did to me Like to call yourself my friend But you're back stabbing Wish I never met you Christine Christine Christine Christine Honestly I know just what you did And I'm not one who tends to forgive So just pretend you never knew me And I'll pretend that I don't know Christine Christine Christine Christine Wish I never met Christine

If only I could love you like I love the color blue Then maybe I'd be a little nicer to you Maybe if I eat nothing Then I'll feel something When I look at myself in the mirror Tell myself to go out running Call it fun And then after I'll skip dinner If only I could love my body Do you think it would make life easier for me Because I can't breathe After counting all my calories Do you think I could love somebody If I can't even love a single part of me When I'm so weak Counting all my calories Tired of pretending like I don't have a clue And saying I'm not hungry so I have an excuse But then I'm left with nothing If I eat something And I'll hate the way I look in the mirror (look in the mirror) So I go out running Call it fun (call it fun) And then after I'll skip dinner (I'll skip dinner) If only I could love my body (my body) Do you think it would make life easier for me Because I can't breathe After counting all my calories Do you think I could love somebody (somebody) If I can't even love a single part of me When I'm so weak Counting all my calories Hate the way I look at me I can be so mean Fighting my reflection like She's the enemy Can this nightmare be over please? If only I could love my body (my body) Do you think it would make life easier for me Because I can't breathe After counting all my calories Do you think I could love somebody (somebody) If I can't even love a single part of me When I'm so weak Counting all my calories If only I could love you like I love the color blue