tired of california - Nessa Barrett

Exhausted And embarrassed of the way I process Everything It hurts to keep it in But no one understands I won't fight it I'm just tired of healing I won't fight it I'm just tired of healing And feeling Like I never meant anything Surrendered The secrets meant to keep us Forever if we tried In September I laid it all to rest But no one understands The blonde and blue I had I won't fight it I'm just tired of healing I won't fight it I'm just tired of healing I won't fight it I'm just tired of healing I won't fight it I'm just tired of healing And feeling Like I never meant anything Did I ever mean anything

Got me singing and shit Yeah, this is for my people out there That love hard You know what I mean If you love hard Then you what the fuck I mean But don't never let nobody Change who the Fuck you are Know what I'm talking about If you love hard, then you just love hard Be you I told myself That I'll never fall again Love is complicated Not too sure of what it is I just know I'm always getting less than what I give And the explanation I get is my heart too big But I don't see it like that I rather give my all, With everything I do Or don't do it at all But I guess it get it Everybody's' different Maybe healing people being used Is just my mission Cause if she ain't a lil bit broken I don't want her Something she ain't never seen Is what I'm tryna show her Baby that's my toxic trait Aways tryna fix Tryna show this broken world That love still exist But it never seem to work I just get myself hurt Fuck wearing it on my sleeve I wear my heart up on my shirt Always pouring into people Like I don forgot my worth Knowing with out hesitation They'll run me through the dirt But still, I always fall first All this shit be tearing up my mental health Is it fake love or is it real I can never tell I can really expect nothing different From no one forreal I got more respect for these bitches Than what they do they selves Get to know you like what's on your mind Go some where and talk about She not interested She rather fuck me in this parking lot Damn And I ain't even have to take her out After this, delete the messages and hit the Block But then be expecting me to treat you like somebody These hoes be the same with everybody I'm not saying they all the same I'm just saying that it's not ironic I know a couple that's gon probably think I wrote this song about em That's why it never work I just get myself hurt Fuck wearing it on my sleeve I wear my heart up on my shirt Always pouring into people Like I don forgot my worth Knowing with out hesitation They'll run me through the dirt But still, I always fall first Yeah I always fall first Said I always fall first Wear my heart up on my shirt That's why I always fall first I always fall first I always fall first I always fall first I wear my heart up on my shirt

Caught in a lie I can tell by the look in your eyes Why'd you say that there's nothing to hide When you look so guilty, baby? Holding my breath 'Cause I swear I could love you to death When we kiss, your shoulders are tense Yeah, you look so guilty, baby I should've known, but I Went through your phone anyways I should've known Love's a dangerous game Why am I jealous if I'm yours? Why do you make me insecure? Why do you tell me not to worry When you always fuckin' hurt me? Why am I jealous if you're mine? Why am I not even your type? Why do you tell me that I'm crazy? Gaslight I'm not crazy if I'm right You talk in your sleep Telling me all the secrets you keep But if I was a girl in your dreams Would you still look guilty, baby? I should've known, but I Went through your phone anyways I should've known Love's a dangerous game Why am I jealous if I'm yours? Why do you make me insecure? Why do you tell me not to worry When you always fuckin' hurt me? Why am I jealous if you're mine? Why am I not even your type? Why do you tell me that I'm crazy? Gaslight I'm not crazy if I'm right Turn me to a girl I don't wanna be Paranoid, yeah, look what you've done to me Turn me to someone I don't wanna be I'm not crazy if I'm right I'm not crazy if I'm right Why am I jealous if I'm yours? Why do you make me insecure? Why do you tell me not to worry When you always fuckin' hurt me? Why am I jealous if you're mine? Why am I not even your type? Why do you tell me that I'm crazy? Gaslight I'm not crazy if I'm right