Squirrel

I'll be gentle and I'll take it slowly Just as long as you say you don't need me I'll do you right and I'll take it steady But when I say go you better be ready Keep you guessing, I swear I won't tell you Make you want me and then I'll desert you But it's alright 'cause you said you don't need me It's alright cuz I kept it steady Don't look at me like that, like you'll kill me I can outrun you and I'll do it gracefully 'Cause I'm gentle but I can't move slowly Don't you dare say you do not know me Don't you dare say you do not know me Don't you dare say you do not know me Don't you dare say you do not know me Don't you dare say you do not know me

In the afterlife You could be headed for the serious strife Now you make the scene all day But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay In the afterlife You could be headed for the serious strife Now you make the scene all day But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay People listen attentively I mean about future calamity I used to think the idea was obsolete Until I heard the old man stamping his feet This is a place where eternally Fire is applied to the body Teeth are extruded and bones are ground And baked into cakes which are passed around In the afterlife You could be headed for the serious strife Now you make the scene all day But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay Beauty, talent, fame, money, Refinement, job skill and brain But all the things you try to hide Will be revealed on the other side. In the afterlife You could be headed for the serious strife Now you make the scene all day (MEET THE FURNACE) But tomorrow there'll be Hell to pay (yessisisisis it is HOT) Now the D and A and the M and the N and the A And the T and the I-O-N Lose your face Lose your name Then get fitted for a suit of flames. Now the D and A and the M and the N and the A And the T and the I-O-N Lose your face Lose your name Then get fitted for a suit of flames.

Well when I was kid I'd take a trip Every summer, down to Mississippi To visit my granny in her ante bellum world I'd run barefooted all day long Climbing trees free as a song One day I happened catch myself a squirrel Well I stuffed him down in an old shoebox Punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came I snuck him into church I was sittin' way back in the very last pew Showin' him to my good buddy Hugh When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk! Well what happened next is hard to tell Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell But the fact that something was among us was plain to see As the choir sang "I Surrender All" Squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls Harv leaped to his feet and said "Somethin's got a hold on me! Yeow!" The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula) It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin pews and shouting Hallelujah! (Hallelujah) Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin' Some thought he had religion Others thought he had a demon And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms He fell to his knees to plead and beg And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg Unobserved, to the other side of the room All the way down to the amen pew Where sat Sister Bertha better-than-you Who'd been watchin' all the commotion with sadistic glee But you should've seen the look in her eyes When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me" As the squirrel made laps inside her dress She began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention Was when she talked about her love life And then she started naming names! The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula) It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin' pews and shouting Hallelujah! (Hallelujah) Well seven deacons and then the pastor got saved And twenty-five thousands dollars was raised And fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot, hehe And even without an invitation There were at least five hundred rededications And we all got re-baptized whether we needed it or not Now you've heard the Bible stories I guess Of how He parted the waters for Moses to pass All the miracles God has brought to this ol' world But the one I'll remember to my dyin' day Is how he put that church back on the narrow way With a half-crazed Mississippi squirrel The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula) It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah! (Halelujah) The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula (Pascagoula) It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival They were jumpin...