(Difford/tilbrook) She was frigid like a bible When she met her boyfriend michael He took her in his zephyr They sat like salt and pepper Looking out across the city From lover's leap is pretty The lights they flick and flutter He told her how he loved her Next night he called for her But dad protected daughter And told him she was poorly A lie was told there surely So michael felt rejected This wasn't quite expected He drove off to his local Where he felt anti-social She cried all night at missing The boy she could be kissing While he was falling over He drunk himself back sober And went home in a taxi And crashed out in the back seat He slept just like a baby Which he hadn't done just lately He saw her in the morning Out with his sister pauline She felt all shy and soppy He acted cool and cocky He said tonight at charlie's There's going to be a party I'll meet you at half seven She visualised the heaven If you ever change your mind Which you do from time to time Never chew a pickle With a little slap and tickle You have to throw the stone To get the pool to ripple That night they danced together It looked like love forever He put his hand on her leg You should have heard what she said He tried again much later It seemed to aggravate her He drove home in silence Avoiding all violence She said let's watch the city From lover's leap is pretty I think I need the fresh air She put a comb through her hair Then while she turned to kiss him And very nearly missed him She put her hand on his leg He felt her tongue in his head If you ever change your mind Which you do from time to time Never chew a pickle With a little slap and tickle You have to throw the stone To get the pool to ripple

(Difford/Tilbrook) She's not a picture above somebody's fire She sits in a towel with a purple hair dryer, She waits to get even with me. She hooks up her cupcakes and puts on her jumper Explains that she'll be late to a worrying mother, She meets me in Piccadilly. A begging folk singer stands tall by the entrance His song relays worlds of most good intentions, A fiver a ten p in his hat for collection. She talks about office she talks about dresses She's seen one she fancies her smile is impressing, So maybe I'll treat her someday. We queue among strangers and strange conversation Love's on the lips of all forms of engagements, All queuing to see tonight's play. A man behind me talks to his young lady He's happy that she is expecting his baby, His wife won't be pleased but she's not been round lately. The girl was so dreadful we left in a hurry We escaped in the rain for an Indian curry, At the candle lit Taj Mahal. My lips to a napkin I called for a taxi The invite of eyes made it tense but relaxed me, My mind took a devious role. The cab took us home through a night I'd not noticed The neon club lights of adult films and Trini Lopez, My arm around love but my acting was hopeless. We crept like two thieves from the kettle to the fire We kissed to the sound of the silence that we'd hired, Now captured, your love in my arms. A door opened slightly a voice spoke in worry Mum went to bed without wind of the curry, Our secret love made its advance. Like Adam and Eve we took bite on the apple Loose change in my pocket it started to rattle, Heart like a gun was just half of the battle.

She unscrews the top of her new whisky bottle And shuffles about in her candlelit hovel Like some kind of witch with blue fingers in mittens She smells like the cat and the neighbours she sickens The black and white TV has long seen a picture The cross on the wall is a permanent fixture The postman delivers the final reminders She sells off the silver and poodles in China Drinks to remember I, me and myself And winds up the clock and knocks dust from the shelf Home is a love that I miss very much So the past has been bottled and labelled with love Durin' the wartime an American pilot Made every air-raid a time of excitement She moved to his prairie and married the Texan She learnt from a distance how love was a lesson He became drinker and she became mother She knew that one day she'd be one or the other He ate himself older, drunk himself dizzy Proud of her features, she kept herself pretty Drinks to remember I, me and myself And winds up the clock and knocks dust from the shelf Home is a love that I miss very much So the past has been bottled and labelled with love He like a cowboy died drunk in a slumber Out on the porch in the middle of summer She crossed the ocean back home to her family But they had retired to roads that were sandy She moved home alone without friends or relations Lived in a world full of age reservation On moth-eaten armchairs, she'd say that she'd sod-all The friends who had left her to drink from the bottle Drinks to remember I, me and myself And winds up the clock and knocks dust from the shelf Home is a love that I miss very much So the past has been bottled and labelled with love Drinks to remember I, me and myself Winds up the clock and knocks dust from the shelf Home is a love that I miss very much So the past has been bottled and labelled with love The past has been bottled and labelled with love The past has been bottled and labelled with love

She's independent, she's a modern woman She needs no prompting on her should and shouldn't It's always bosses, who wish that she wouldn't Files in the cabinet, so neatly numerical Makes all the clients so neatly alphabetical (Turn of 21) She's looking at the map (Looking at the map) Then looking at her watch (Looking at her watch) Bags on the rack (Bags on the rack) Seems like she's there Seems like she's there at the top Seems like she's there at the top There for her service, comfy red Granada Up to the midlands with a taped Sinatra Plans all the hotels and the airplane charters Found under covers with some representative The deal is effected but still only tentative (Turn of 21) She's looking at the map (Looking at the map) Then looking at her watch (Looking at her watch) Bags on the rack (Bags on the rack) Seems like she's there Seems like she's there at the top Seems like she's there at the top Shorthands a letter heading on the paper Slim lines her lunch break will it ever make her? Slender and modern so all the men will take her Back to the mirror in the Empress Hotel Where the businessman smiles and the object to sell (Turn of 21) She's looking at the map (Looking at the map) Then looking at her watch (Looking at her watch) Bags on the rack (Bags on the rack) Seems like she's there Seems like she's there at the top Seems like she's there at the top There at the top, there at the top There at the top, there at the top There at the top, there at the top