Sixlane - Tristan Theory

Momma praying for me Grandma praying for me Satan preying on me Jesus waiting on me 'Cause I've been straddling the fence it's time to make decisions I've been thinking about Heaven lately, don't think I'll get in 'Cause I've been going back and forth I love the way I'm living But I hate it at the same time 'cause I know I'm sinning! And I don't want to be like them hypocritical Christians So I stay away from Jesus completely 'till I'm ready to give Him Everything, but that seems like it'll never happen My girl coming over later, you know what's about to happen Then after some smashing I'm sitting there asking If eternity in Hell is worth some moments of this satisfaction Man I'm so back and forth! I'm back and forth like a tug of war I've been fighting for my life, like I'm trying to get my life right And I really want more, and I don't know Back and forth like a tug of war And I've been fighting for control, and fighting for my soul and this is war I've got two choices Both require pain One's the pain of change or the pain of staying the same One of them leads to joy Other one leads to shame One of them leads to freedom the other one keeps me in chains I wear a cross and give you thanks for my blessings! Ain't that enough?! Why you want everything?! Can't you leave this part of my life untouched?! I thought following you meant I only had to say yes once! Now every day I wake up you give me some cross to take up! You really want me to break up with my girl? Now that's too much... I know what's best for me! You don't understand my complexities! See I gotta make a living so don't ask where my checks come from! Now I hear you talking, I ain't gone numb! I know I'm in the dark and I gotta find my way to the Son, 'cause He calling on my name and I know I can't run... I'm so back and forth... I'm back and forth like a tug of war I've been fighting for my life, like I'm trying to get my life right And I really want more, and I don't know Back and forth like a tug of war And I've been fighting for control, and fighting for my soul and this is war I drown on broken hearts A man full of regrets The thrill has left, the empty promises of sin sets You wanna put treasure inside my hands, but you cease 'Cause they're clamped, holding on the sins I won't release I don't know how to start loving you, and stop doing what I'm doing if I gain you tell me what I'm really losing You have to change me and my sins I'd never choose Him My heart needs to see something greater than what I'm pursuing so Is it true that you give rest to the weary? Can you accept and repair me? Do you hear me? It's so clear and now it's painfully apparent That I can't have my sin and my Savior, they're not for sharing Anything that I lose to follow you is not a loss My girlfriend my friends my money even my job But sometimes I believe the lie That God don't provide for His child when they obey, that's so cray He calling me to freedom, I think that it's time to walk I don't see every step but the next is out of the dark I'm the filthiest of them all, but I'm YOURS if you wash me! From that sin, by the blood of that cross! I'm yours