Self Sabotage - LaRussell

I've been climbing on this ladder for months Time has worn it down now I'm breaking the rungs City smog blackening my lungs I'm used to shitty days This stuff just isn't fun anymore Where did all the time go Spent it with my eyes closed Spent it with some fake friends Dissing ain't a typo Now my pockets fat They gonna need some lipo' I always spend it fast I make it in a night though Self sabotage I'm with my entourage Cold shoulder I don't really wanna talk And I don't wanna stop Until I'm on the top Don't want another thought Of when my bones will rot Self sabotage I'm with my entourage Cold shoulder I don't really wanna talk And I don't wanna stop Until I'm on the top Don't want another thought Of when my bones will rot I need excitement Something that could pump my blood around I've been fighting with myself every time I'm down And I turned blue right at the bottom Man you let me drown now they ask me Why I never bring that girl around Done with that phase I ain't coming back aye But the pain stays Tatted with the sad face Sit back look at all the damage I never knew I caused it But I saw it when you vanished I really hurt myself for you I cry I feel I'm just like you And I killed my body And I killed my brain I'm a bag of bones baby Walking in the rain (I call it) Self sabotage I'm with my entourage Cold shoulder I don't really wanna talk And I don't wanna stop Until I'm on the top Don't want another thought Of when my bones will rot Self sabotage I'm with my entourage Cold shoulder I don't really wanna talk And I don't wanna stop Until I'm on the top Don't want another thought Of when my bones will rot

I think it's time that I stop playing victim Admit my faults and tell my friends that I miss them I've been neglecting the things that I love, it's self sabotage And I've been stuck in this room going crazy Writing the same song like everyday About feeling stressed and overwhelmed, do it to myself, oh I'm sorry I wanna be better than how I've been But I've just been stressing and wearing thin The futures been taking me down again I love you I wanna make sure everybody knows Even though I forget to check my phone I know that I can't make it on my own I'm scared of the future And I'm terrified I'm a loser But I'll be alright if I just take time If I just wait a while I don't know what's coming But I'm scared I might not like it So I fight myself to fight it, to fight it I think it's time I respond to my texts Figure out life and what I'm doing next I've been afraid to be honest, afraid that I might miss I think it's time that I stop playing victim Write a song that I like Maybe if I get some sleep then I'll be alright I'm scared of the future And I'm terrified I'm a loser But I'll be alright if I just take time, if I just wait a while I don't know what's coming But I'm scared I might not like it So I fight myself to fight it, to fight it I'm trying To do better than I've been Even though it's be a long long time since I've been doing alright

I tell you to leave when I want you to stay I'm stuck in my ways, I can't win my own game If it's meant to be, then I'll throw it away, oh-oh-oh Hurt you for no reason, I won't call you back Then I break you into pieces so I don't get attached Get so caught up in my feelings, float until we crash And we're runnin' out of gas, I was hopin' we could last, but I start to fall, then I cave, and I push you away You could call it self-sabotage I love to dig my own grave, somethin' wrong with my brain You could call it self-sabotage It's a self-fulfillin' prophecy I know I'm gonna —k it up with you and me — Never goin' my way, now I'm drownin' in blame You could call it self-sabotage I'm hard to love, this girl is a gun I'm killin' 'em softly, one by one So, fill up your lungs, yeah, you better run, oh-oh-oh Hurt you for no reason, I won't call you back Then I break you into pieces so I don't get attached So, caught up in my feelings, float until we crash And we're runnin' out of gas, I was hopin' we could last, but I start to fall, then I cave, and I push you away You could call it self-sabotage I love to dig my own grave, somethin' wrong with my brain You could call it self-sabotage It's a self-fulfillin' prophecy I know I'm gonna —k it up with you and me — Never goin' my way, now I'm drownin' in blame You could call it self-sabotage Hurt you for no reason, I won't call you back Then I break you into pieces so I don't get attached Get so caught up in my feelings, float until we crash And we're runnin' out of gas, I was hopin' we could last, but I start to fall, then I cave, and I push you away You could call it self-sabotage I love to dig my own grave, somethin' wrong with my brain You could call it self-sabotage It's a self-fulfillin' prophecy I know I'm gonna —k it up with you and me — Never goin' my way, now I'm drownin' in blame You could call it self-sabotage