Scott Mccall

(C.w. mccall, bill fries, chip davis) Bill fries says that this is based on a true story from the late '60s, when a band of hippies rolled into telluride and decided to stay. One day about four or five years ago We is settin' at the conoco station Kickin' tires, and swattin' flies, And discussin' the state of the union When right out in front of the baptist church Come a big ol' purple school bus Had astrological signs upon it And thirty-five hippies and dogs inside About half of 'em went for the courthouse lawn And them dogs commenced on the fireplug Rest of 'em set there starin' at us And I says, roy, go get your flit gun He says, which is the hippies? and which is the dogs? I says, beats the hell outta me, roy. What they was, was a bunch a' them crispy critters And their leader was a space cadet He says, sagittarius, we has arrived. Prepare to disembark, men. Get the incense goin' and the sitar out We gonna camp in the city park, man. I says, boys, let me explain the situation to ya. A: you're gettin' me down And b: we got us a leash law here And c: you in the wrong town. You drop one string a' beads in that there park And you gonna see a whole lotta stars. You got fifteen seconds to get out of town, boys, Or we gonna blow ya ta mars. Well, they all got back in the purple bus And proceeded to the city limits. Then the telephone rang, was the swimmin' pool Says a mess a' wild critters was in it! So we all got in the marshal's plymouth (Which is always at the conoco station) Went flashin' on down to the swimmin' pool To give them critters a citation By the time we arrived, it was too damn late Them critters is all had their pants down Them dogs was tearin' the bathhouse apart, And they's after the fish in the fish pond! I says, roy, you get the one in the silver t-shirt And I'll get the rest with a net. We gonna have a jail full a' naked crispy critters And a drip-dry space cadet. [You've watched the dukes of hazzard, haven't you? c'mon, admit it; nobody's looking. well, at this point in the song there's a short interlude which resembles a car chase on dukes. there's banj Kin' and yee-hawin' and a general sense of raucous abandon. oh, yeah, and a few dog barks. it's round-up time at the swimmin' pool.] Well, we gave 'em hell, but we lost the war 'Cause them critters outnumbered us So they moved in and set up camp And they lived in that purple school bus Six weeks later, there was nothin' in town But eighty-four dogs and a head shop Sellin' dried up weeds, and sunflower seeds, And astrological postcards Yeah, critters took over the city council And the dogs all barked their brains out And the whole damn town was crispy critters And the mayor was a space cadet

(C.w. mccall, bill fries, chip davis) Me an' rj an' the kids was on a camp-out in the mountains, and we had us one'a them u-drive-'em army jeep cars which we rented from a fella by the name of kubozke for thirty bucks a day, buy you Along the way, take a rabbit's foot and leave a pint of blood for a dee-posit. And he 'splained it all to us how we was supposed to get to telluride, which is fifty miles away by way of the regular highway, however, there was a shortcut but unless we had drove the black be Ad before, we'd better be off to stay, stay in bed and sleep late. (pay no attention to the gitar there.) Well, we took up off'n the highway and we come upon a sign says black bear road. you don't have to be crazy to drive this road, but it helps. I says, rj, this must the shortcut Kubozke was talkin' about. she didn't pay no mind, 'cause she was makin' peanut butter sandwiches for the kids in the back seat throwin' rocks and drinkin' kool-aid and playin' count-the- Se-plates. but they wasn't havin' too much fun a-countin' license plate or cars, 'cause there weren't no other cars. We went about a mile-and-a-half in about four hours, busted off the right front fender, tore a hole in the oil pan on a rock as big as a hall closet. went over a bump and spilt the kool-aid and Ene stuck his bolo knife right through the convertible top and the dog threw up all over the back seat. peanut butter don't agree with him, you see. So we had to stop and take off the top and air everything out and clean it up. the dog run off and rj says she felt her asthma comin' on. I was sittin' there wonderin' what to do when the en-tir Nic san joo-wan u-drive-'em army jeep car sank in the mud. at thirteen thousand feet above sea level. Well, we shoveled it out and ate our lunch, the dog made a yellow hole in the snow and roy gene got out his instamatic and took a snapshot of it. mary elizabeth drawed a picture of the road; it D like a whole bunch a' zs and ws all strung together. and rj took one look at it and said that the only way that jeep car is goin' down that road is over her dead body. then a rock slipped out Under the wheel and the u-drive-'em army jeep car went right over the edge of the cliff. yahoo-oo-oo-oo! Doggone-it, roy gene! how many times do I have to 'splain it to you? when I tell you to put a rock under the wheel, I mean rock! now look at that, what you have there is no bigger'n a grap T.

She was born one mornin' on a san juan summer Back in eighteen and eighty and one She was a beautiful daughter of the d and r g And she weighed about a thousand ton Well, it's a-forty-five mile through the animas canyon So they set her on the narra gauge She drank a whole lot a' water And she ate a lot of coal And they called her the silverton (silverton train) [Chorus] Here comes the silverton, up from durango Here comes the silverton, a-shovelin' coal Here comes the silverton, up from the canyon See the smoke and hear the whistle blow Well, now listen to the whistle in the rock wood cut On the high line to silverton town And you're gonna get a shiver When you check out the river Which is four hundred feet straight down Take on some water at the needleton tank And then a-struggle up a two-five grade And by the time you get your hide Past the snowshed slide You've had a ride on the silverton (silverton train) [Chorus] Here comes the silverton, up from durango Here comes the silverton, a-shovelin' coal Here comes the silverton, up from the canyon See the smoke and hear the whistle blow [Musical interlude here. nice violins, and the kettle drums boom well.] [Chorus] Here comes the silverton, up from durango Here comes the silverton, a-shovelin' coal Here comes the silverton, up from the canyon See the smoke and hear the whistle blow [If the next line seems a bit familiar, you're correct. chug-chug, toot-toot, off we go.] Now, down by the station, early in the mornin' There's a whole lot a' people in line And they all got a ticket On the train to yesterday And it's a-gonna leave on time Well, it's a forty-five mile up the animas canyon So they run her on the narra gauge She takes a whole lot a' water And she needs a lot of coal And they call her the silverton (silverton train) [Chorus] Here comes the silverton, up from durango Here comes the silverton, a-shovelin' coal Here comes the silverton, up from the canyon See the smoke and hear the whistle blow [Fade out] Here comes the silverton, up from durango Here comes the silverton, a-shovelin' coal Here comes the silverton, up from the canyon See the smoke and hear the whistle blow Here comes the silverton, up from durango Here comes the silverton, a-shovelin' coal Here comes the silverton, up from the canyon See the smoke and hear the whistle blow

Me an' Earl was haulin' chickens On the flatbed out of Wiggins And we'd spent all night On the uphill side Of thirty-seven miles of Hell Called Wolf Creek Pass Which is up on the Great Divide We was settin' there suckin' toothpicks An' drinkin' Nehis and onion soup mix And I says: "Earl, let's mail a card to mother And then send them chickens On down to the other side Yeah, let's give 'em a ride" Wolf Creek Pass Way up on the Great Divide Truckin' on down the other side Well, Earl put down his bottle Mashed his foot down on the throttle And then a couple a boobs With a thousand cubes Within a nineteen-forty-eight Peterbilt Screamed to life We woke up the chickens We roared up offa that shoulder Sprayin' pine cones, rocks, and boulders And put four hundred head Of them Rhode Island Reds And a couple a' burnt-out roosters on the line Look out below 'Cause here we go! Wolf Creek Pass Way up on the Great Divide Truckin' on down the other side Well, we commenced ta truckin' And them hens commenced ta cluckin' And then Earl took out a match And scratched his pants And lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar And took a puff Says: "My, ain't this pretty up here?!" I says: "Earl, this hill can spill us You better slow down Or you gonna kill us" "Just make one mistake And it's the Pearly Gates For them eighty-five crates Of USDA-approved cluckers You wanna hit second?" Wolf Creek Pass Way up on the Great Divide Truckin' on down the other side Well, Earl grabbed on the shifter And he stabbed her into fifth gear And then the chromium-plated Fully-illuminated Genuine accessory shift knob Come right off in his hand I says: "You wanna screw that thing back on, Earl?" He was tryin' to thread it on there When the fire fell offa his cigar And dropped on down Sorta rolled around And then lit in the cuff of Earl's pants And burned a hole in his sock Yeah, sorta set him right on fire I looked on outta the window And I started countin' phone poles Goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power Well I put two and two together And added twelve and carried five And come up with twenty-two thousand Telephone poles an hour I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide His lip was curled And his leg was fried And his hand was froze to the wheel Like a tongue to a sled In the middle of a blizzard I says: Earl, "I'm not the type to complain But the time has come for me to explain That if you don't apply some brake real soon They're gonna have to pick us up With a stick and a spoon" Well, Earl reared back And cocked his leg Stepped down as hard as he could on the brake And the pedal went clear to the floor And stayed right there on the floor And he says it was sorta like steppin' on a plum Well, from there on down It just wasn't real pretty It was hairpin county And switchback city One of 'em looked like a can fulla worms Another one looked like malaria germs Right in the middle of the whole damn show Was a real nice tunnel Now wouldn't you know? Sign says clearance to the twelve-foot line But the chickens was stacked to thirteen-nine Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred-and-ten Like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen We took that top row of chickens off Slicker than scum off a Louisiana swamp Went down and around and around and down We run outta ground at the edge of town Bashed into the side of a feed store In downtown Pagosa Springs Wolf Creek Pass Way up on the Great Divide Truckin' on down the other side Wolf Creek Pass Way up on the Great Divide Truckin' on down the other side

We was screamin' through the valley where the Nishnabotna flows Through the mud and crud and cornfields where the marijuana grows 'Cross the railroad tracks at Persia, down the hills and up the dale Had a CJ5 with a four-wheel drive and Smokey on my tail Well, he picked me up at exit 12, on the I-680 ramp I was doin' 67 per when I rumbled through his trap He commenced to whirl his flashin' lights and he made his siren wail I slipped on down to four-wheel drive with Smokey on my tail Now I got racin' stripes and dual pipes and Smokey's got a Ford Got a mill with a four-pot carb, you know, but Smokey's stroked and bored Well, the chase was on, but I had the edge with a rig that'll never fail Got a CJ5 with a four-wheel drive and Smokey on my tail Yeah, he was Well, I dropped on down to granny low and I made a hard right turn My big ol' fat Commando tires went slashin' through the corn Well, the tassels blew and the kernels flew and it looked like yellow hail Just cookin' alive in a four-wheel drive with Smokey on my tail Well, we went screamin' through the valley where the Nishnabotna flows Through the mud and crud and cornfields where the marijuana grows 'Cross the railroad tracks at Persia, up the hills and down the dale My CJ5 with four-wheel drive and Smokey on my tail Look out, now, here he come Oh, we gonna get it on now Don't hit that fella with the banjo We're gonna swim this here creek now, Smokey Yard wide and a foot deep Nishnabotna river, they call it Might have to winch out Gonna do a wheelie on that there gopher mound now, Smokey Can you dig it, Smokey? Got four on the floor and four in the air on that one, didn't we? Goodness gracious 'Bout to bust my shocks Well, that Jeep of mine made Smokey whine, his rig was made of lead He was mired in 14 feet of mud, so he radioed ahead I pulled up onto the blacktop, went crashin' on through the rail Sakes alive, I had 25 more, Smokey's on my tail Now I had racin' stripes and dual pipes and Smokey had a Ford Had a mill with a four-pot carb, you know, but Smokey's stroked and bored Well, the race was on, but I had the edge with a rig that'll never fail Got a CJ5 with a four-wheel drive settin' out back of the jail

Am I going crazy? ooh Cause you're looking at me crazy, yeah Is it cause you got a past? Is it cause you done been around Is it cause you got ass? And I really wanna take you down Is it cause you a hustler, and you get it how you get it Big man you can't deal with it Now they looking at me crazy oh Now they looking at me crazy, oh ah Cause I go so hard for my baby, ohh I wish a nigga would try to play me For my lady, now they looking at me crazy Cause I spend this money Just to keep you looking good Doing good things for me Damn they never understood You was down for me, when none of them was around Can't tell me nothing now Now they looking at me crazy (oh) Now they looking at me crazy, oh ah (ooohaa) Cause I go so hard for my baby, oooh I wish a nigga would try to play me For my lady, now they looking at me crazy Either you're cross sided or you're looking at me sideways (sideways) She stole my heart so I guess that mean crime pays (crime pays) Love is a 2 way street, not a highway(no no) Yeah you got all, but I got a fianc (oh yeah) Hey, I'm just speaking on some real shit (real shit *2) Treated like the first lady on some michelle shit (michelle shit) I need a girl that I can chill with (chill with) Cause all the sexing [?] true affection, get off real quick (real quick) So I guess you see me around,(hey) They say misery loves company, but 3 is a crowd (3 is a crowd) I'm on some grown man shit, no boys allowed (no boys allowed) They seen me put it down so now they looking at me crazy Now they looking at me crazy oooooh woooOOh, so crazy Cause I go so hard for my baby, for my baby (I go so haaard) I wish a nigga would try to play me, try to play me, oh my god Now they looking at me crazy, crazy, yeah yeah Now they looking at me crazy, crazy, yeah yeah yeaaah Cause I go so hard for my baby Don't worry about a thing, no, no Girl I got you I'm a teach you how to love Oh yeah, Now they looking at me crazy.