Step one! Get everyone's attention A powerful, majestic start Maybe battle horn of some kind? Step two! Drums! There has to be drums! It doesn't hurt if the drums are played by gorgeous topless men It's proven very efficient throughout the years But, please feel free to try other alternatives It's also proven helpful to go the exact opposite way Use a grandmother! Step three! Show the viewers your country's ethnic background By using an old traditional folklore instrument That no one heard of before No, no, in this case It's proven much more efficient to not use a young model Go for an old man A beard helps! This instrument is called a Swedish kvinnaböske A small roundish piece from the horn family Inherited from the Vikings Just make something up, no one will know! Step four! In Eurovision, nothing says winner like a violin Trust us, bring a violin! Step five! The violin, the drums and the kvinnaböske Might make it all feel a little bit old fashioned This can easily be fixed by adding a DJ who pretends to scratch In real life of course, this is thirty years old But in Eurovision, it will give your number a contemporary feel Step six, costumes! You need to look memorable Something that the viewers will notice Perfect! Step seven, the song! Everything else might be important, but the song is essential Let it be about something everyone can connect to Love works Peace is also a popular way to go Yes, peace is good ABBA actually won the competition With a song about war with Waterloo But this is not something we recommend When you have all the pieces are gathered Go for it and don't look back! Let the song begin with passion Let the wind begin to blow You can break the rules of fashion And your chance to win shall grow Look into the TV camera So the audience can see That you're lovable, not desperate Smile and they will vote for me Fill the stage with light As dancers will join us The expectations grow It's time for the chorus Love love peace peace Old women baking bread Peace peace love love And a man in a hamster wheel Love peace peace love Make it unforgettable And you will be the best And win the Eurovision Song Contest! Now we'll go down a notch Our hands will touch Pretending we're in love It's you and me and when we change the key We'll give the world a show It begins to snow Love love peace peace And a burning fake piano Peace peace love love And a Russian man on skates Love peace peace love It'll be incredible And you will be the best Love love peace peace Party for everybody Peace peace love love More tricks in a hamster wheel Love peace peace love And we can guarantee That you will be the best And win the Eurovision Song Contest! And win the Eurovision Song Contest!

Well, she's a loner She'll never let you on the inside Yeah, he's a stoner Lost behind red eyes You're a drunk if you're leanin' on the back wall You a player if you take her after last call I wonder what you see when you look at me, yeah 'Cause nobody wants to be labeled You can't judge a record by its cover 'Til you hear it spinnin' on the turntable There's always more behind the title One man's enemy's another man's brother One man's ex is another man's lover We try to peel 'em off like a brand on a bottle 'Cause nobody wants to be labeled (Yeah) Nobody wants to be labeled (Uh) Prom queen's got a nine-month secret He's got a boyfriend, but he prays to Jesus It's gettin' harder to hide, so they hit the light So nobody can see 'em Nobody wants to be labeled You can't judge a record by its cover 'Til you hear it spinnin' on the turntable There's always more behind the title One man's enemy's another man's brother One man's ex is another man's lover We try to peel 'em off like a brand on a bottle 'Cause nobody wants to be labeled (Yeah) Nobody wants to be labeled Well, you come into the world with a new tattoo Little red, little white, little black, little blue (Yeah) Oh, you come into the world with your own tattoo But nobody wants to be labeled (Yeah) 'Cause nobody wants to be labeled You can't judge a record by its cover 'Til you hear it spinnin' on the turntable There's always more behind the title One man's enemy's another man's brother One man's ex is another man's lover We try to peel 'em off like a brand on a bottle 'Cause nobody wants to be labeled (Yeah) Nobody wants to be labeled (Alright)

Pickin' up girls in a hand-me-down Ford Brown bagged bottle rolling round that floor That we fake ID'd from the corner store Had to head on back and get a little more 'Cause we're pickin' up girls in a hand-me-down Ford Nowhere bound, just to swig a little pour Yeah, catch a little buzz and a kiss up against that door Keep the party going til we get a little torn, hey, yeah Well, it's a two-tone rust bucket But cranks up every damn time On a dime Naw, it ain't much to look at But it gets me on down the line We'll have a real good time Pickin' up girls in a hand-me-down Ford It's what you do when you're small town bored Just like my daddy and his daddy before Damn, she likes to hear that thing roar, hey, yeah Well, it's a two-tone rust bucket But cranks up every damn time On a dime Naw, it ain't much to look at But it gets me on down the line We'll have a real good time Pickin' up girls in a hand-me-down Ford Just married in that four by four Made a little love then we made a little more Nine months later, County Hospital cut that chord New bumper sticker says, "Baby on board" Still pickin' up girls in a hand-me-down Ford, yeah

Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Speed and power that's the game Young senorita won't come back again Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac See the crosses on the road side Ghost of that young girl won't come back again See the crosses on the road side Ghost of that young girl won't come back again Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Too dark, went off the cliff Young senorita won't come back again Too dark, went off the cliff Young senorita won't come back again Oh yeah Speed and power that's the game Ghost of that young girl won't come back again Speed and power that's the game Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Oh yeah Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Loss of life down in Mexico Put three stripes on a Cadillac Two drivers went off the cliff Young senorita won't come back again Two drivers went off the cliff Young senorita won't come back again Oh yeah, uh huh Yeah

Yo, get out of the bathtub Let's go Hell, I was broke as a joke, no bank account commas Hand-me-down boots, knock off Tony Lamas It was paper plate dinner, box wine, chicken ramen Smokin' that cheap Bob Marley, we be jammin' But she had a thing for my twang and my guitar pickin' She said our way of life is a good kind of livin' Money ain't shit if you ain't got love All that filthy rich don't add up to much If you ain't spending all your dollars on that hot little dime Well, you're out there wasting more than your time 'Cause money ain't shit if you ain't got a love Yeah, he got that Lamborghini but he ain't got no bikini In the shotgun seat (oh, oh) Yeah, he got that private jet, but he ain't mile-high clubbin' yet Well, buddy that ain't me, I'm in 24D Makin' out with my honey 'Cause money ain't shit if you ain't got love All that filthy rich don't add up to much If you ain't spending all your dollars on that hot little dime Well, you're out there wasting more than your time 'Cause, money ain't shit if you ain't got a love, yeah (ooh-ooh-ooh) If you ain't got a love, oh (ooh-ooh-ooh) If you ain't got a love, yeah (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh) (Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh) hey Money ain't shit Money ain't shit Money ain't shit Money ain't shit Well, money ain't shit if you ain't got love All that filthy rich don't add up to much If you ain't spending all your dollars on that hot little dime Well, you're out there wasting more than your time 'Cause, money ain't shit if you ain't got a love Money ain't sh I do like money though

I got my Johnny Cash bling, boots and matching hat Well, tonight I'm turnin' it on Have my paycheck spend on booze and cigarettes Yeah, tonight I'm turnin' it on From these dress boots to that dirt road mountain That little red buzz and that neon sign, A little country band gonna rock it all night Woah... So turn it on, turn it up, Flip the switch, pull the string, baby, rip off the knob A little hillbilly redneck stompin' my feet Somethin' bad, been sick of workin' all week Give me something me and my baby can dance to Sing a little out of tune, too A Friday night, honky tonk party my ass off song Sing a long, and turn it on Aw, turn it on Tight white dress, hair in a mess Tonight she's turnin' it on That mean ol' boss done laid her off Well, tonight she's turnin' it on She's gonna shake that thing all around the room A countrified version of the Moulin Rouge Make all the boys in the band stop Oh-oh-oh So turn it on, turn it up, Flip the switch, pull the string, baby, rip off the knob A little hillbilly redneck stompin' my feet Somethin' bad, been sick of workin' all week Give me something me and my baby can dance to Sing a little out of tune, too A Friday night, honky tonk party my ass off song Sing a long, and turn it on Yeah, turn it on Whoa... Turn it on, turn it up, Flip the switch, pull the string, baby, rip off the knob A little hillbilly redneck stompin' my feet Somethin' bad, been sick of workin' all week Give me something me and my baby can dance to Sing a little out of tune, too A Friday night, honky tonk party my ass off song Sing a long, and turn it on Yeah, turn it on