Who Who am I to be blue Look at my family and fortune Look at my friends and my house Who Who am I to feel dead and Who am I to feel spent Look at my health and my money And where Where do I go to feel good Why do I still look outside me When clearly I've seen it won't work Is it my calling to keep on when I'm unable Is it my job to be selfless extraordinaire My generosity has me disabled By this my sense of duty to offer Why Why do I feel so ungrateful Me who is far beyond survival Me who's seen life as an oyster Is it my calling to keep on when I'm unable Is it my job to be selfless extraordinaire My generosity has me disabled By this my sense of duty to offer And how How dare I rest on my laurels How dare I ignore an outstretched hand How dare I ignore a third world country Is it my calling to keep on when I'm unable Is it my job to be selfless extraordinaire My generosity has me disabled By this my sense of duty to offer Who Who am I to be blue

I am the harm that you inflict I am your brilliance and frustration I'm the nuclear bombs if they're to hit I am your immaturity and your indignance I am your misfits and your praised I am your doubt and your conviction I am your charity and your rape I am your grasping and expectation I see you averting your glances I see you cheering on the war I see you ignoring your children And I love you still And I love you still I am your joy and your regret I am your fury and your elation I am your yearning and your sweat I am your faithless and your religion I see you altering history I see you abusing the land I see you and your selective amnesia And I love you still And I love you still Haah... Haah... Haah... Haah... I see you and your selective amnesia I see you averting your glances I see you cheering on the war And I love you still I love you still I see you altering history And I see you abusing the land I see you and your selective amnesia And I love you still I love you still I am your tragedy and your fortune I am your crisis and delight I am your profits and your prophets I am your art - I am your bytes I am your death and your decisions I am your passion and your plights I am your sickness and convalescence I am your weapons and your light I see you holding your grudges I see you gunning them down I see you silencing your sisters And I love you still And I love you still I see you lie to your country I see you forcing them out I see you blaming each other And I love you still And I love you still Haah... Haah... Haah... Haah... I see you holding on to your grudges I see you as you gun them down I see you silencing your sisters And I love you still I love you still I see you lying to your country And I see you trying to force them out I see you blaming each other And I love you still I love you still

Sometimes is never quite enough If you're flawless, then you'll win my love Don't forget to win first place Don't forget to keep that smile on your face Be a good boy Try a little harder You've got to measure up And make me prouder How long before you screw it up How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up With everything I do for you The least you can do is keep quiet Be a good girl You've gotta try a little harder That simply wasn't good enough To make us proud I'll live through you I'll make you what I never was If you're the best, then maybe so am I Compared to him compared to her I'm doing this for your own damn good You'll make up for what I blew What's the problem... why are you crying Be a good boy Push a little farther now That wasn't fast enough To make us happy We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect

Call it what you want 'Cause I don't even care anymore Call me what you need to To make yourself comfortable I've not left the house in a while I've not felt a glimpse of ease And I have not made much headway Since I have come back from the war And I no longer give a damn Bout things that used to matter And I am covering my eyes As I am frozen on the spot Call it what you want 'Cause I don't even care anymore Call me what you need to To make yourself comfortable So I am debilitated I can't remember where the sentence Started when I'm trying to finish it And all of you are so frustrated And everyone around me is trying to help as much as they can My house is spotless, my lens is Skewed, my limbs they recoil And I'm folding in on myself Since I am out of order Call it what you want 'Cause I don't even care anymore Call me what you want to To make yourself comfortable So I am debilitated I can't remember where the sentence Started when I'm trying to finish it And all of you are so frustrated And everyone around me is trying to help as much as they can But I'm alone in this meltdown Of nervousness diagnosis Call it what you want 'Cause I don't even care anymore Call me what you need to To make yourself comfortable So I am debilitated I can't remember where the sentence Started when I'm trying to finish it And all of you are so frustrated And everyone around me is trying to help as much as they can Call it what you want Call me what you need to To feel comfortable

I miss your smell and your style and your pure abiding way Miss your approach to life and your body in my bed Miss your take on anything and the music you would play Miss cracking up and wrestling our debriefs at end of day These are things that I miss These are not times for the weak of heart These are the days of raw despondence I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this I miss your neck and your gait and your sharing what you write Miss you walking through the front door documentaries in your hand Miss traveling our traveling and your fun and charming friends Miss our Big Sur getaways and to watch you love my dogs These are things that I miss These are not times for the weak of heart These are the days of raw despondence I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this One step, one prayer I soldier on Stimulating, moving on I miss your warmth and the thought of us bringing up our kids And the part of you that walks with your stick-tied handkerchief These are things that I miss These are not times for the weak of heart These are the days of raw despondence I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

We'd gather around All in a room Fasten our belts Engage in dialogue We'd all slow down Rest without guilt Not lie without fear Disagree sans judgement We would stay and respond And expand and include And allow and forgive And enjoy and evolve And discern and inquire And accept and admit And divulge and open And reach out and speak up This is utopia This is my utopia This is my ideal My end in sight Utopia This is my utopia This is my nirvana My ultimate We'd open our arms We'd all jump in We'd all coast down Into safety nets We would share and listen And support and welcome Be propelled by passion Not invest in outcomes We would breathe and be charmed And amused by difference Be gentle and make room For every emotion This is utopia This is my utopia This is my ideal My end in sight Utopia This is my utopia This is my nirvana My ultimate We'd provide forums We'd all speak out We'd all be heard We'd all feel seen We'd rise post-obstacle More defined, more grateful We would heal, be humbled And be unstoppable We'd hold close and let go And know when to do which We'd release and disarm And stand up and feel safe This is utopia This is my utopia This is my ideal My end in sight Utopia This is my utopia This is my nirvana My ultimate