Ooh The greatest stories ever told Have a hero who must be bold They learn a sense of right and wrong And better learn the sense through song Musicals tell the impossible (The impossible) They evoke the philosophical, ooh yeah So tonight we're gonna chronicle A story so astronomical The last remaining story to tell The guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) I mean what the fuck? (Didn't like, did not like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Yeah, what the fuck? (Didn't like, did not like like-a-like 'em) In the tiny town of Hatchetfield Lived an awful grinch named Paul He spends his days surfing the web And not singing and dancing with us all Should we kill him? Should we kill him? Oh, he pines after a cute little barista Isn't that worth a show stopping fiesta, yeah But for some damn reason He won't join our singing season What an ass What a bitch What a cock The guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) I mean what the fuck? (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Na, na, na, na, na... Na, na, na, na, na, ah... (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) It's the end of the world, Paul (end of the world) If you don't sing (if you don't sing) This is the bridge, Paul (this is the bridge) Where we globalize everything And the words will come to you We swear we will teach you What it means to love What it means to obey, Paul The apotheosis is upon us Yay! Did you hear the word? What's the word? He's a coming Who's a coming? Paul's a comin' Paul's a comin'? The star of the show Now for his headlining entrance Time to swoon at his leading man essence His name is in the title He's destined to go viral Here he is His name is Paul Enter now! Where the fuck is he? I have no fucking clue The guy just doesn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Yeah (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Na, na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, ah... (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) Ooh And he definitely won't like me, yeah (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) He's the guy who didn't like musicals (Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Na, na, na, na, na Na, na, na, na, na, ah... (Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) Paul, you piece of shit