Last Ship - Trinix

Aye, the footmen are frantic in their indignation You see, the Queen took a taxi herself to the station Where the porters, surprised by her lack of Royal baggage Bustle her and three corgis to the rear of the carriage For the train it is crammed with all Europe's nobility And there's none of them famous for their compatibility There's a fight over seats, I beg pardon Your Grace But you'll find that one's mine, so get back in y'r place Aye, but where are they going? All the porters debate Why they're going to Newcastle and they daresn't be late For they're launching a boat on the Tyne at high tide And they've come from all over, from far and from wide There's the old Dalai Lama, aye and the Pontiff of Rome Every palace in Europe, and there's nay bugger home There's the Duchess of Cornwall and the loyal Prince of Wales Looking crushed and uncomfortable in his top hat and tails Why, they haven't got tickets, come now, it's just a detail There was no time to purchase and one simply has to prevail For we'll get to the shipyards or we'll end up in jail When the last ship sails Oh, the roar of the chains and the cracking of timbers The noise at the end of the world in your ears As a mountain of steel makes its way to the sea And the last ship sails And whatever you'd promised, whatever you've done And whatever the station in life you've become In the name of the Father, in the name of the Son And no matter the weave of this life that you've spun On the Earth or in Heaven or under the Sun When the last ship sails Oh, the roar of the chains and the cracking of timbers The noise at the end of the world in your ears As a mountain of steel makes its way to the sea And the last ship sails...

When the winds from the Eastern quarter, And there's a pungent taste of salt upon the breeze. Something troubles your insides Like a scum upon the tides, A something washed up on the beach down by the quays. Intuition's what a girl in love relies on I should've known he only wanted to be free I drew my line upon the sand Only a fool would ever stand Between a man--and his involvement with the sea And when the tide rolls out You'll find your bed is empty and he's gone So if you ever see me talking to a sailor Some scurvy no-good mongrel of a tar You knock the drink out of my hand Push me over where I stand Take a slug at me but somewhere I won't scar Pin my body to the ground And slap my face to bring me round Then you can roll my silly ass out of this bar. For a sailor's not a man to be trusted He'll bill and coo call you his "chickadee" Oh, but when he's had his way All you'll get is his "good day", Then he'll blow a kiss and scuttle back to sea. And when the tide rolls out You'll find your bed is empty and he's gone So if you ever see me talking to a sailor, And I blithely stand there passing time of day No, don't you hesitate to think Someone's tampered with your drink And he's shaking out your handbag in the time it takes to blink And all the booze you've ever bought him He's just throwing up in the sink Just call the funny farm and carry me away! For a sailor's not a man to be trusted He's treacherous as tides and hidden reefs And just to get you up the stairs He'll quote the Bible in his prayers And before you know he's bound for Tenerife And when the tide rolls out You'll find your house is empty and he's gone And when the tide rolls out You'll find your heart is empty and he's gone And when you become a woman of a certain age You'll find it's difficult to trust a man Difficult to gauge, when that bills rat who left you Without a living wage thinks there's still That tawdry glamour of the sea That, I swear to God's completely lost on me. So, if you ever hear me talking to a sailor Some mangy sea-dog skulking on the quay Ah, just remind me what I've said Or you can shoot me in the head And then throw my bleeding body in the sea! You'll find your bed is empty and he's--gone!