Killin Myself (feat. Monterey Jack) - E-Face

I think I lost myself when I started going out Taking drugs just to numb my pain I think I lost myself when my mother look me in the eyes And told me that I'm "Not the same" I think I lost myself when everyone figured out I'm a screw-up and an addict Looking at the world like it's crazy There's no one to save me And there's only one reason that I'm mad I'm mad because I I know I should have asked for more than what I've gotten It's hard to bite the apple if you know the apple's rotten They feeding me unhealthy habits but I couldn't stop it They told me love is natural, but this is feeling forced Don't bite the hand that feeds you Well, unless of course Unless it's constantly feeding you stuff that you can't stomach I'm not the one to tell them that I always ran from it Confrontation makes me sick I feel like I'm gon' vomit I don't wanna be the person that just hides behind Every wall I throw up, while I die inside This knot in my stomach won't stop until it's tied my mind It's held me down for too long and now my breath is gone I hope I get a second chance but there's no death respawn I know I'm probably not the person that can love on you But I'm a walking consequence of what love can do And if they treating you like dirt, then they will shovel you Into your grave where you will die and then cover you And swear to God, and claim that they were loving you 'Cause when you're six feet down there no longer under you Having a higher person doesn't mean you're fireproof X got shot, all he did was inspire youth If I could do one thing, it'd be inspired you To look inside the mirror and stop lying To the only fucking person that would die for you I think I lost myself when I let myself fuck around and fell for the wrong one Ay I think I lost myself when my mental health started giving signs and I ignored them Ay I think I lost myself when I found all my friends doubting all the dreams that I had Looking at the world like it's crazy, there's no one to save me That ain't the only reason that I'm mad I'm mad because I Found myself trapped in the dark, sad in my heart Mad at God just to cap it all off Your words and eyes, they ain't matching at all But nowadays I smile, I'm just laughing it off It's a prison cell in the head all the time When you're going to hell just to get through life Just to make it through another night Another sibling tryna pick a fight Family's not normal, guess that it's alright I just learned to live with it and adapt to life (life) In fact, who am I kidding, can you pass the knife? Just so I can slice into the afterlife The only time I'm happy is when I grab the mic It's like they can't be happy, so they mad that I'm It's like they don't have passion, so they after mine (why?) Asking a bunch of questions but I answer mine I think I lost myself when I let myself fuck around and fell for the wrong one Ay I think I lost myself when my mental health started giving signs and I ignored them Ay I think I lost myself when everyone figured out I'm a screw-up and an addict Looking at the world like it's crazy, there's no one to save me It ain't the only one reason that I'm mad I'm mad because I