Met a girl, her name was Jade Cuts her nails with a razor blade Says she lives by no one's law Ran my pride through a big chainsaw Have you heard of D.B. Cooper? I got pulled over by an old state trooper I met a girl, her name was Jade She cut my face with a razor blade Yeah, I screamed out in fury Yeah, but my cries were not heard Yeah, the judge and the jury Yeah, they could offer no cure I met a girl, her name was Jade She got a brand new man and they got engaged The wedding's gon' be on a big green hill They hope it won't rain but it probably will The man, he was a football star He broke his knee, now he sells cars Only so much that words can do Love was blind, but they cured that, too You know, Gandhi has a son our age He said the freedom thing's just one big cage I met a girl, her name was Jade Her husband died, but she kept his name Yeah, she screamed out in fury Yeah, but her cries were not heard Yeah, her mom was so worried Yeah, but she could offer no cure Boss man calls for a meeting at noon Big cigar in an oak board room We got an idea and we think it's great Said it was too much so we're gonna try eight Who made love to Scarlet Jo? And where the hell did Josh Hartnett go? I met a girl, her name was Jade Lived her whole damn life in a mascaraed Yeah, I screamed out in fury Yeah, but my cries were not heard Yeah, they said I'll never see 30 Yeah, they could offer no cure I met a girl, her name was Jade She cuts her nails with a razor blade