I'm Afraid of Men - Vivek Shraya & Queer Songbook Orchestra

I'm not afraid of phone calls Or parking fines I'm not afraid of bad news Get me Houston on the line I pick up the odd spider Take a deep sea dive I guess I could handle a gun If the situation called for one Here comes Friday And I feel like letting go One woman's poison Is the only thing I know Another woman's pleasure Isn't fool's gold if it's true I'm not about to let them win And I'm not afraid of you I'm not afraid of dying This rotten tooth It never keeps me awake at night And I don't miss my youth Chasing shadows In the midday sun I never look behind me At the damage I've done Here comes Friday And I feel like letting go One woman's poison Is the only thing I know Another woman's pleasure Isn't fool's gold if it's true I'm not about to let them win And I'm not afraid of you # There's no amount of laughter that You can get hooked on There's no end to the fear But it's only a song Carry me out To where the waves don't break Ride the undertow If it's gonna take Here comes Friday And I feel like letting go One woman's poison Is the only thing I know Another woman's pleasure Isn't fool's gold if it's true I'm not about to let them win And I'm not afraid of you I'm not afraid of you

Little ballet for you Sometimes I want to throw my arms around you, thank you Then I tremble at the thought of giving in Because I know how much it costs to love you And I'm so afraid of losing you again Being close to you revives the sorrow That wakes me up and tells me, I can't win I'd love to wake up in your arms tomorrow But I'm so afraid of losing you again Alternate now If Heaven were to hear my heart's confessions Wanting you would be my greatest sin But I'm glad that you're no longer my possession 'Cause I'm so afraid of losing you again Being close to you revives the sorrow That wakes me up and tells me, I can't win I'd love to wake up in your arms tomorrow But I'm so afraid of losing you again But I'm so afraid of losing you again

I know that I fucked up when I Told you I'm afraid of heights It made you wanna test my courage You made me climb a cliff at night You wanted me to jump and I declined You called me a coward, I replied "I don't wanna live forever But I don't wanna die tonight" When the black water ate you up Like a sugar cube in a teacup I got the point you were makin' When I held my breath 'til you came up There's been a run of fires downtown On half-built construction sites I know you never liked a townhouse I've seen you climb a crane at night If they ever catch you at it I know you'd want me to be proud That you took a rich man's dream And brought it with you on your way down "'Cause one man's dream is another man's death" I remember when you told me that Didn't know what to say, so I just laughed But now I know it's not funny I never rode a motorcycle I never smoked a cigarette I wanna live a vibrant life But I wanna die a boring death I know I was a disappointment Know you wanted me to take a risk Not everybody gets the chance to live A life that isn't dangerous You called me a crybaby But you're the one who got teary Tellin' me what you believe How we're stuck in entropy How it hurts to hope, oh, it hurts to hope for more Oh, it hurts to hope the future will be better than before

I'm afraid of loving you too much So afraid of trembling at your touch This is no time to start flashing your eyes at me I've got to watch my heart It bruises so easily Don't insist there's much, too much, too much concern If we kissed, my memories might get burned And if I fell in love I might get hurt, who knows? I'm afraid but anyway here goes Don't insist there's much, too much, too much concern If we kissed, my memories might get burned And if I fell in love I might get hurt, who knows? I'm afraid but anyway here goes, here goes

Grass to my knees, give them hope And new joints bend and lean On me when you feel that Strange dream fill my back with Cold night air through my lungs Limping on two legs again Don't you think that I've been giving up? Don't you think that I've been giving up? Change I take the blame I take the blame I move away, away Space in my life give me lots of room to grow Pull my ears back with the words Heart beats hurt You have my chest full of Cold night air in my lungs Limping on two legs again Don't you think that I've been giving up? (Don't you think that I've been giving up?) Don't you think that I've been giving up? Change I take (I take) the blame I'll take (I take) the pain) I move (I move) away, away Away, away