I'll do anything that you want me to do. There ain't nothing baby that I wouldn't do for you. If you want it bad enough it's catch-as-catch-can. Oh, when I want it hard enough, you'll be my man. While I sing the blues. I sing the blues. I sing the blues. Late in the midnight hour. My daddy sang the blues to my mamma. Yeah! I sing the blues. I sing the blues to you. I sing the blues. If you want to talk about it. I'll hang around. If you want to fight about it. Come on and let's get down. I'll tell you what I'm thinking. If you wanna know I'll tell where I'm going if I want you to go. Baby and I sing the blues. I sing the blues. And I sing the blues. Early in the morning honey I sing the blues. My daddy sang the blues to my mamma. And baby I'll sing the low down dirty blues to you. Baby alright! (Harmonica solo) I'll do anything that you want me to do. Yeah! There ain't nothing baby I wouldn't do for you. If you want it bad enough it's catch-as-catch-can. Oh, when I want it hard enough you'll be my man. Well I sing the blues. I sing the blues. I sing the blues. Late in the midnight Midnight hour. My daddy sang the blues to my mamma. Yeah! I sing the blues I sing the blues to you. Late in the... Late in alright honey. And I sing the blues. I sing the blues all night long. Early in the morning. Late in the midnight. I sing the blues. With my Daddy must have sang the blues to your mamma He must have sang it all night long I sing the blues Low down dirty sing the blues to you.

Everybody wants to know, they ask me why I sing the blues Everybody wants to know now, why I keep crying the blues Well, I've been around little while And I've paid some dues, yes, I have People laying in ghetto flats, cold and numb Looking at roaches, telling bedbugs to move over and give 'em some Oh, it's hot in here, that's one reason I'm singing the blues, yeah Been around a long time God knows I've paid a few dues, yes, I have Stood in line at the County Hall Heard a man say, "We're gonna build some high rises for y'all "Up in renewal, work on a removal, talk to me, yeah" Don't feel bad about it, just trying to be free I don't want my kids growing up to be no fools You keep rapping to me y'all ain't got no room in school, yeah And you want to know why I'm singing the blues, yeah Been around a little while And I've seen some people paying dues, yes, I have Some of my friends told me I was born to lose But when I looked around they were singing the same old kind of blues, now And you want to know why I'm singing 'em this evening, yeah Don't be saying those, everybody pays some dues sometimes Yeah, sing the blues now

Without a warning The blues walked in this morning And circled rund my lonely room I didn't know why I had That sad and lonely feeling 'Till my baby called and said it's through Yesterday I sang a lovesong But today I sing the blues I know the explenation But that's no constellation No matter how your love You can lose And since I lost I rather walk around and worry I guess I've walked the darkest avenue Yesterday I sang a lovesong But today I sing the blues Now it strikes me kind of funny How life can be this way We were lovers last night honey But not in love today Now it strikes me kind of funny How faith can be unfair It seems that I'm the one To lose in every love affair Yes it must be written for me That I should be the one to always lose Yesterday I sang a lovesong But today I sing the blues Now it strikes me kind of funny How life can be this way We were lovers last night honey But not in love today Now it strikes me kind of funny How faith can be unfair It seems that I'm the one To lose in every love affair Yes it must be written for me That I should be the one to always lose Yesterday I sang a lovesong But today I sing the blues

Sing, sing, sing, sing Everybody's got to sing Stick with us we'll have a ball. Sing, sing, sing, sing Everybody's got to sing Stick around we'll have it all. Music brightens up the day Now, if you like it we will stay. Sing, sing, sing, sing Everybody's got to sing Stick around, shake it down.

I gotta right to sing the blues I gotta right to moan inside I gotta right to sit and cry Down around the river A certain man in this little town Keeps draggin my poor heart around All I see for me is misery Soon that deep blue sea Will be callin me It must be love say what you choose I gotta right to sing the blues I gotta right to sing the blues I gotta right to moan and cry I gotta sit and sigh Down around the river Soon that deep blue sea Will be callin me It must be love say what you choose I gotta right to sing the blues Theres nothing left for me Im full of misery I gotta right to sing the blues

Louis: It seems today, that all you see is violence in movies, and sex on T. V. Peter: But where are those good old-fashioned values, on which we used to rely? Brian: It used to be, a big time star was elegant as Garbo, or Hedy Lamarr. Stewie: But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez, you want to curl up and die. Lucky theres a Family Guy. Lucky theres a man who positively can do all the things that make us- Stewie: Laugh and cry! Hes a Family Guy! Louis: When I was young, the songs were fair, with Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and Cher. Peter: But now we get Justin Timber-homo. Louis: A heartache all gone awry! Brian: The classic films were works of arts, the images were graceful, the stories were smart. Stewie: But now we get Matrix Revolution, Im sorry I know this doesnt rhyme, but what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?! Lucky theres a family guy, lucky theres a fella, sweeter than vanilla, wholesome as a piece of- Stewie: Apple Pie! Hes a family guy! Lois: His smiles a simple delight. Chris: He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites. Lois: Peter! Meg: He bought me my cute little hat. Brian: Yeah we should have a talk about that. About that! And his hat! Brian: Hes mastered the comedy arts. Stewie: He says, Look out, Hiroshima! Then casually farts. (fart sound effect) Lois: Hes loaded with sexy appeal. Peter: And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel! Brian: No thank you. Stewie: I gave it the office. Lois: The Brady Bunch has got their Mike and pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke. But who around here could fill those loafers? But heres a happy reply. Lucky theres a family guy. Lucky theres a man who positively can do all the thing that make us- Stewie: Laugh and Cry! Hes a Family Guy! Hes a Family Guy!!! Lois: Oh My! Thank you very much! What a welcome. Peter: I am gunna buy each and every one of you a beer after the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Im kidding for Christs sake, Im not serious. Thats expensive! Look, just the fact that I came up with the idea should tell you Im generous; I shouldnt actually have to spend any money. Meg: Uh, can we turn the spotlight down a bit? Brian: Yeah, it is a little bright. Stewie: You know Brian, I- I just noticed something. With that light shining on you from that angle, you look a lot like Jamie Farr. Brian: Yeah, youve told me that before and uh, its interesting, because Im thinking you look a lot like Britney Spears. Stewie: Really?! How so? Brian: Well, you- you got that thing going on with your eyes like Britney does. You know where You know how her eyes are just like a hair too far apart? Uh, a- a- almost like there was some immediate post-birth surgery that should have been done but it was the south, so they didnt have the medical technology. Stewie: Oh, I see. Chris: Mom! Lois: Yes honey? Chris: I have a wedgie. Lois: Chris, honey, wait until the intermission. Then you can fix it. Peter: Well, we got a lot of fun stuff lined up here tonight. We got music, we got comedy, we got behind the scenes crap from the show. Lois: Thats right! For example, not a lot of people know this, but in one episode of the show there was a flashback of Brian when he was a puppy. Now, they couldnt find a puppy who looked enough like him, so they actually built a dog suit for the scene, and the actor of inside the suit was Raven- Symoné, who was Olivia on the Cosby show. Brian: Fascinating bit of trivia. Peter: All right, okay, I got one for ya. You know the sound stage where we shoot Family Guy is the same stage where they shot the Golden Girls back in the 80s, right? Now one of the stage hands was telling me a- a pretty intense story. I guess there was one night when they were all ready to shoot, and uh, the audience was waiting. And uh, nobody could find Bea Arthur. So everybodys freaking out and uh, then one of the producers runs in and says Cancel the show tonight. Bea Arthurs in jail! Lois: Oh My God! Peter: Yeah. Apparently she had a little too much to drink before the show and uh, they found her standing on the street corner, exposing her penis to traffic. Brian: Oh My God! Meg: Ew! Thats Disgusting! Peter: Can you believe that? Brian: Wait a minute. How the hell can Bea Arthur have a penis? Peter: Eh, special permit. Stewie: I say, what is it with these actors? Theyre perfectly normal people in civilian life and then they come out to Hollywood and just go fucking berserk. Brian: You gotta watch your language, kid. Stewie: Oh, its a record album for Gods sake. Lets cut loose a bit. Chris: Nipples! Hehe. Stewie: Perfect example. Although I must say I am amazed at the language you can get away with on television these days. I- I was watching Law and Order the other night and I swear to god, I heard someone use the word balls. And I thought to myself, My God, that- that Dick Wolf just does whatever he damn well pleases, doesnt he? Bringing words like balls into Americas living rooms. I wonder how hed like it if I just walked into his living room a- and use the word balls. Brian: Uh I think that would be breaking and entering. Lois: You know, I am so glad they allowed us to bring Stewie this evening. The last show we did we had to leave him at home. They didnt allow babies in the theater. Brian: Well of course. People wanted to be able to enjoy the show Stewie: I am a show you lack-witted beetle head! Ugh! Oh what a night that was. My babysitter was a total bitch. Lois: Stewie! Thats very rude. Especially since your babysitter is here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff. Hailey Duff: Hi Mr. And Mrs. Griffin Peter: Howre ya, sweetheart? Lois: So was it really that bad babysitting Stewie? Hailey Duff: You want the truth? Well, okay. So after you and Peter left for dinner, I- No. Wait a minute. Lets tell this story right. Please.