Intro One: (only on Dr. Octagon "hidden track" original version)

I would have been completely dead had it not been for the Shark Man.
Shark Man? *chuckling*
Judging from his appearance, that's the most appropriate
Name I could come up with for him.
I hate this kid.
This uhh... THING you're talking about.
It had the body of a shark, and the arms and face of a man?
That's the chap.
Holy jumping jackfish!

Intro Two: Mr. Gerbik

*Moaning, growling*
Yes, you have met the dangerous 208 year-old Uncle of Dr. Octagon.
I myself Mr. Gerbik. Half-shark, half-man, skin like alligator.
Carrying a dead walrus. Check it.

Verse One: Mr. Gerbik

With my white eyes, gray hair, face is sky-blue yellow
Sideburns react, my skin is colored lilac
My skin turn orange and green in the limousine
People think I'm mixed with shark, drinking gasoline
Underwater I breathe and let loose on my sleeve
Walking down Hollywood Boulevard with a credit card
Three alligators behind me, feel my skin is hard
Transvestites, and people watch space parasites
I left his head in the store, legs in the street
Body in Wilcox, with blood dripping off my feet
L.A.P.D. through gray clouds couldn't see me
I first turned rainbow, closed my eyes, watch my brain glow
People got scared and ranned away they think I'm weird
I was born this way, halfsharkalligator
Is he weird?

Chorus: Mr. Gerbik *singing*

Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"
Half-shark-alligator-half-man
"Half man, half shark!"

Verse Two: Mr. Gerbik

My vomit fluctuates, covers your skull like protoplasm
Lightning bugs turn pink, on my tongue catches spasms
Green elephants, I battle streets with a zebra
My mechanism is more than Dionne's psychic voodoo
African beads, snakeskins, cold script through you my medical passes
You can't see, with greedy glasses
Carbon dioxide, pour right through em with gases
My description dinosaur
I was made half-shark-half-man, my skin is like razor blades
Seven-oh-seven, Mr. Gerbik
Verbally no one change my thoughts, animals fly from Philly
My appetites more big it's time for wildabeasts
Adjust my skulls, seven eyes switch hydraulic scribbles
And shrimps, mack gorillas like a pimp
Half-shark-alligator-man

Chorus 2X

Verse Three: Mr. Gerbik

In my real world, orangutangs dance for Thanksgiving
With skeleton bones and skunk tails, is my mission
Holding backward raps to all my power packs
Babboons clap, and girl horses wanna hit the sack
We're too bold for ocean water, monkeys sniffin ice
Contact Jupiter pools Martians bring my rice
I'm out flyin with purple capes in the twilight
Oooh ooh ooh, tonight's the night
My oxygen region's, New York to California
Half shark alligator half man!

Outro: PBS "Nature"

It takes a supreme feat of strength to swim through
The water plows while dragging two hundred and
Fifty pounds on your back... the crocodile's teeth
Are designed to seize and hold, not to cut through
Skin. During all the hours the somber lay in the water,
But are unable to penetrate the deer's tough hide.
The crocodiles make a few token objections; but in the
End, give up the struggle.