I stick with real things Usually facts and figures When information's in its place, I minimize the guessing game Guess what? What? I don't like guessing games, or when I feel things Before I know the feelings How am I supposed to operate if I'm just tossed around by fate? Like on an unexpected date With a stranger who might talk too fast Or ask me questions about myself before I've decided that He can ask me questions about myself, he might sit too close Or call the waiter by his first name, or eat Oreos But eat the cookie before the cream, but what scares me the most What scares me the most Is what if, when he sees me What if he doesn't like it? What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it? What happens then? If, when he knows me, he's only disappointed? What if I give myself away to only get it given back? I couldn't live with that (how can you handle that?) So, I'm just fine inside my shell-shaped mind This way I get the best view So that when he sees me I want him to Dawn, don't you think you're being a little — I mean, maybe, just a tad— I'm not defensive! I'm simply being cautious I can't risk reckless dating due to my miscalculating While a certain suitor stands in line I've seen in movies, most made for television You cannot be too careful when it comes to sharing your life I could end up a miserable wife! Sorry, girls But he could be criminal! Some sort of psychopath who escaped from an institution Somewhere where they don't have girls He could have masterminded some way to find me He could be colorblind! How untrustworthy is that? He could be less than kind Or even worse, he could be very nice, have lovely eyes And make me laugh, come out of hiding What do I do with that? Oh, God What if, when he sees me, I like him and he knows it? What if he opens up a door and I can't close it? What happens then? If, when he holds me, my heart is set in motion? I'm not prepared for that, I'm scared of breaking open But still, I can't help from hoping To find someone to talk to Who likes the way I am Someone who, when he sees me Wants to, again

Momma worked four-twelves at the ER Some nights sister made dinner Single parent house in a Bible Belt town We were always a little bit different And I was her wild child by a country mile A hell-raising natural-born sinner But I was her baby, too She said, "Son, I believe in you" She sees the right in all my wrongs She sees the best in everyone She says I'm right on track And when I'm not, she brings me back She sees what only angels can She sees me better than I am Every day I'm still tryna be Whatever she sees in me Had a heartbreak, took it real bad Ended up six months in a rehab Sober was a hard thing 'Til I found a six-string Still wish daddy coulda seen that Yeah, but momma did Front row saying, "That's my kid" She sees the right in all my wrongs She sees the best in everyone She says I'm right on track And when I'm not, she brings me back She sees what only angels can She sees me better than I am Every day I'm still tryna be Whatever she sees in me Whatever she sees in me I'm a long shot, I'm a train wreck She ain't gave up on me yet She sees the right in all my wrongs She sees the best in everyone She says I'm right on track And when I'm not, she brings me back She sees what only angels can She sees me better than I am Every day I'm still tryna be Whatever she sees in me I'm a long shot, I'm a train wreck She ain't gave up on me yet

Beams of fire sweep through my head Thrusts of pain increasingly engaged Sensory receptors succumb And now I know all the agony My crimson liquid so frantically spilled The ruby fluid of life unleashed Ripples ascend to the surface of my eyes Their red pens drawing at random, at will A myriad pains begotten in their wake The bastard spawn of a mutinous self The regurgitation of my micro nemesis Salivating red at the prospect of my ruin, my doom Malfunction The means for its ascent Bloodletting, the stringent voice to beckon my soul So futile, any resisting tension As death-induced mechanics propel its growth The implement, the device of my extinction The terminating clockwork of my gleeful bane The definitive scourge of its mockery The end-art instruments lethality attained Heed, it commands, heed my will Bleed, it says, bleed you will Falling into the clarity of undoing Scornful gods haggle for my soul Mind's eye flickers and vellicates as I let go Taunting whispers accompany my deletion A sneering grin, the voice of my reaper Chanting softly the song of depletion

Strive, strive, surmount the obstacles Become the essence of your goals, hereditary dream Pray that you may attain that destiny Fall into the coveted line Where life is but a theme of pretense in lustrous guise Claims and values, charts of means and status Plaques to show your strife Do your neighbor clones approve? Picture perfect illustration, imitation of life Where the path is evened out, all obstructions removed Great, viable citizen Are you happy now? Then praise your god and bow Shimmering surface The gleam of blinding lies Become the product The thing you so desire To what length would you go to reach your goals? What mantra will you use to justify your means? Who will you betray to secure your dream? What sins will you commit to avoid your sins to be seen? Do not look down Do not look down Or the abysmal beast of nonconformity might Stare some unpleasant truth into your desensitized mind Shimmering surface The gleam of blinding lies Become the product The thing you so desire

Listen... Carnation Megnaton The nation the Normalize Its best to Organisize Returns to Mononomize Negation Sodomize Dissection Out of line Victims of Minds lost Every time Closing thoughts Bottom line Putrid flies Traumatize Traumatize Mission full Pressure rise Shoot me flies Battle lines Satisfied Cross the line Missions lost Reconciled Just leave me there Just leave me dead Just leave me naked Mourning cries Connections Rosen fire Returns from Lust in fire Remarks on Putrid fall Respects to When desire To rid the elder Analize All in and around Styled men Nod your way down Apart of me Burn the traitors All of you Now Right Wrong Wrong Wrong Tyrants Slaughtered men Sodomize Sodomize Sodomize Sodomize Sodomize Moan in fire Our next one Fucked Redemption Close Res'rection Fought in life Is rection The sight Killer Get a life Why is christ Sighting Ressurection Battered shell I I You You Why Why Why

Skyline draped in shimmering red Irradiant and treacherous Neon prophecies hail the end, the capital of piety Totalitarianopolis, city of dread The glorious streets of dystopia continuously running red This is where self is relinquished Autonomy sacrificed The idolatry of tyrants compulsory Welcome all to MonstroCity where norm is that of the insane All is illusion in MonstroCity Bow to it, it knows your name Relishing the idea of damnation "The wailing and gnashing of teeth" They know for sure where judgment's due "What's above and what's beneath" This is where we fail, where the self-righteous reign The empire of imaginary ghosts This is blind credulity's domain MonstroCity In here everyone knows "the truth" Which unforgiving icon is real Intolerance and prejudice saturates their zeal This is where self is relinquished Autonomy sacrificed The idolatry of tyrants compulsory