Ooh
The greatest stories ever told
Have a hero who must be bold
They learn a sense of right and wrong
And better learn the sense through song
Musicals tell the impossible (The impossible)
They evoke the philosophical, ooh yeah
So tonight we're gonna chronicle
A story so astronomical
The last remaining story to tell
The guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
I mean what the fuck?
(Didn't like, did not like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Yeah, what the fuck?
(Didn't like, did not like like-a-like 'em)
In the tiny town of Hatchetfield
Lived an awful grinch named Paul
He spends his days surfing the web
And not singing and dancing with us all
Should we kill him? Should we kill him?
Oh, he pines after a cute little barista
Isn't that worth a show stopping fiesta, yeah
But for some damn reason
He won't join our singing season
What an ass
What a bitch
What a cock
The guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
I mean what the fuck?
(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na, na, na, na, na...
Na, na, na, na, na, ah...
(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)
It's the end of the world, Paul (end of the world)
If you don't sing (if you don't sing)
This is the bridge, Paul (this is the bridge)
Where we globalize everything
And the words will come to you
We swear we will teach you
What it means to love
What it means to obey, Paul
The apotheosis is upon us
Yay!
Did you hear the word?
What's the word?
He's a coming
Who's a coming?
Paul's a comin'
Paul's a comin'?
The star of the show
Now for his headlining entrance
Time to swoon at his leading man essence
His name is in the title
He's destined to go viral
Here he is
His name is Paul
Enter now!
Where the fuck is he?
I have no fucking clue
The guy just doesn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em) Yeah
(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, ah...
(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em) Ooh
And he definitely won't like me, yeah
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)
He's the guy who didn't like musicals
(Didn't like, didn't like, didn't like-a-like 'em)
Na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, ah...
(Didn't like, did not like, did not like like-a-like 'em)
Paul, you piece of shit
