Evil Twin (feat. Steven Tyler, Joe Perry & Brad Whitford) - Buddy Guy

Yeah, trying to figure out the difference But I think I think the lines are starting to get blurred I'm in a strange place I feel like Ma$e when he gave up the game for his faith I feel like I'm caged in these chains and restraints Grimming every stranger in the place while I gaze into space 'Cause I'm mentally rearranging his face I need a change of pace 'cause the pace I'm working at is dangerous There's nowhere to dump this anger and thanks to this angst I done quit chicken heads cold turkey and started slowly roasting 'em 'Cause that's where most of my anger is baste Fuck your feelings, I feel like I play for the Saints I just want to hurt you, aim for the skanks Then aim for all these fake Kanyes, Jays, Waynes and the Drakes I'm frustrated cause ain't no more N'Sync, now I'm all out of whack I'm all out of Backstreet Boys to call out and attack I'm going all out in this rap shit and whatever the fallout is I'm strapped for battles sucka Duck, crawl out the back, it's a bar fight Prepare your arsenal and beware of bar stools Flying through the air and bottles breaking, mirrors also And I ain't stopping till the swear jar's full "You done called every woman a slut" "But you're forgetting Sarah, Marshall" (Palin!) Oh, my bad, slut And next time I show to in court I'll be naked and just wear a lawsuit Judge be like "That's sharp, how much did that motherfucker cost you?" "Smart-ass, you're lucky I don't tear it off you" "And jump your bones, you sexy motherfucker" "You're so fucking gravy, Marshall I should start calling you au jus" "Cause all you do is spit them lyrics out the wazoo" Evil twin, take this beat now, it's all you I believe people can change, but only for the worse I could've changed the world if it wasn't for this verse So satanic, K-Mart chains panic 'Cause they can't even spin back the curse words Cause they're worse when they're reversed, motherfucker (Rape your mother, kill your parents) And these kids are like parrots, they run Around the house just like terrorists Screaming, "fuck, shit, fuck" adult with a childish-like arrogance Wild ever since the day I came out I was like, merits Fuck that, I'd rather be loud and I like swearing From the first album even the gals were like "Tight lyrics, dreamy eyes" But my fucking mouth was nightmare-ish And from the start of it you felt like you were part of this and opposition felt the opposite Sometimes I listen and revisit them old albums often as I can and skim through all them bitches To make sure I keep up with my competition Hogger of beats, hoarder of rhymes Borderline genius who's bored of his lines And that sort of defines Where I'm at And the way I feel now, feel like I might just strike first and ignore the replies There's darkness closing in, there it goes again (evil twin, evil twin) It controls my pen, but that ain't me, it's my evil twin But he's just a friend, who pops up now and again (evil twin) So don't blame me, just blame him, it's my evil twin (evil twin) Welcome back to the land of the living, my friend You have slept for quite some time So who's left, Lady Gaga? Mess with the Bieber Nah, F with Christina, I ain't fucking with either Jessica neither Simpson or Alba, my albums just sicker than strep with the fever Get the Cloriseptic, Excedrin, Aleve or Extra Strength Tylenol 3's, feel like I'm burning to death but I'm freezing Bed ridden and destined never to leave the Bedroom ever again like the legend of Heath-uh- Ledger, my suicide notes, barely legible read the Bottom, it's signed by the Joker, Lorena said I never can leave her She'd sever my wiener I ever deceive her Fuck that shit, bitch! Give up my dick for pussy? I'd be Jerry Mathers, I ever left it to Beaver Get them titties cut off trying to mess with a cleaver Golly-wally, I vent, heat register, Jesus Ever since 1-9-9-4-6 Dresden, it was definitely my Destiny when on the steps, I met DeShaun At Osborn, I'd never make it to sophomore I just wanted to skip school and rap, used to mop floors Flip burgers and wash dishes, while I wrote rhymes trying to get props for 'em Cause I took book-smarts and swapped for 'em They were sleeping, I made 'em stop snorin' Made them break out the popcorn Now I've been hip-hop in it's tip-top form Since N.W.A was blaring through my car windows leaning on the horn Screaming "Fuck the police" like cop porn Flipped rap on its ear Like I dropped corn Fuck top five, bitch, I'm top four And that includes Biggie and Pac, whore And I got an Evil Twin, so who the fuck do you think that third and that fourth spot's for? And crazy as I am I'm much tamer than him And I'm nuts, then again who the fuck wants a plain Eminem? But no one's insaner than Slim, look at that (evil grin) (Evil twin) please come in, what was your name again? Hi! Faggot Look who's back with a crab up his ass Like a lobster crawled up there Two rabbits, a koala bear and a ball of hair And you're all aware I don't got it all upstairs Guess that's why I'm an addict and it's so small up there Peace to Whitney, jeez, just hit me That I should call the Looney Police to come get me 'Cause I'm so sick of being the truth, I wish someone finally admit me To a mental hospital with Britney Oh! LMFAO Oh, no way, Jo- Se Baez couldn't beat this rap, OJ no Hooray, I'm off the like Casey Anthony, hey ho Hey-ho! I sound like I'm trying to sing the fucking chorus to "Hip Hop Hooray", no I'm hollering you got bottom-end like an 8-0- 8 and I 'base' whether we're fucking off that instead of your face, so Let your low end raise, yo Tango, what you think, ho? Slow dancing or bowling? You trying to hold hands with your homie? What, you think I'm looking for romance 'cause I'm lonely? Change that tune, you ain't got a remote chance to control me Ho, I'm only vulnerable when I got a boner Superman try to fuck me over, it won't hurt Don't try to fix me, I'm broke so I don't work So are you, but you're broke cause you don't work But all bullshit aside, I hit a stride Still Shady inside, hair every bit as dyed As it used to be when I first introduced y'all to my skittish side And blamed it on him when they tried to criticize 'Cause we are the same, bitch

Louis: It seems today, that all you see is violence in movies, and sex on T. V. Peter: But where are those good old-fashioned values, on which we used to rely? Brian: It used to be, a big time star was elegant as Garbo, or Hedy Lamarr. Stewie: But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez, you want to curl up and die. Lucky theres a Family Guy. Lucky theres a man who positively can do all the things that make us- Stewie: Laugh and cry! Hes a Family Guy! Louis: When I was young, the songs were fair, with Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and Cher. Peter: But now we get Justin Timber-homo. Louis: A heartache all gone awry! Brian: The classic films were works of arts, the images were graceful, the stories were smart. Stewie: But now we get Matrix Revolution, Im sorry I know this doesnt rhyme, but what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?! Lucky theres a family guy, lucky theres a fella, sweeter than vanilla, wholesome as a piece of- Stewie: Apple Pie! Hes a family guy! Lois: His smiles a simple delight. Chris: He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites. Lois: Peter! Meg: He bought me my cute little hat. Brian: Yeah we should have a talk about that. About that! And his hat! Brian: Hes mastered the comedy arts. Stewie: He says, Look out, Hiroshima! Then casually farts. (fart sound effect) Lois: Hes loaded with sexy appeal. Peter: And best of all my titties are real. Have a feel! Brian: No thank you. Stewie: I gave it the office. Lois: The Brady Bunch has got their Mike and pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke. But who around here could fill those loafers? But heres a happy reply. Lucky theres a family guy. Lucky theres a man who positively can do all the thing that make us- Stewie: Laugh and Cry! Hes a Family Guy! Hes a Family Guy!!! Lois: Oh My! Thank you very much! What a welcome. Peter: I am gunna buy each and every one of you a beer after the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Im kidding for Christs sake, Im not serious. Thats expensive! Look, just the fact that I came up with the idea should tell you Im generous; I shouldnt actually have to spend any money. Meg: Uh, can we turn the spotlight down a bit? Brian: Yeah, it is a little bright. Stewie: You know Brian, I- I just noticed something. With that light shining on you from that angle, you look a lot like Jamie Farr. Brian: Yeah, youve told me that before and uh, its interesting, because Im thinking you look a lot like Britney Spears. Stewie: Really?! How so? Brian: Well, you- you got that thing going on with your eyes like Britney does. You know where You know how her eyes are just like a hair too far apart? Uh, a- a- almost like there was some immediate post-birth surgery that should have been done but it was the south, so they didnt have the medical technology. Stewie: Oh, I see. Chris: Mom! Lois: Yes honey? Chris: I have a wedgie. Lois: Chris, honey, wait until the intermission. Then you can fix it. Peter: Well, we got a lot of fun stuff lined up here tonight. We got music, we got comedy, we got behind the scenes crap from the show. Lois: Thats right! For example, not a lot of people know this, but in one episode of the show there was a flashback of Brian when he was a puppy. Now, they couldnt find a puppy who looked enough like him, so they actually built a dog suit for the scene, and the actor of inside the suit was Raven- Symoné, who was Olivia on the Cosby show. Brian: Fascinating bit of trivia. Peter: All right, okay, I got one for ya. You know the sound stage where we shoot Family Guy is the same stage where they shot the Golden Girls back in the 80s, right? Now one of the stage hands was telling me a- a pretty intense story. I guess there was one night when they were all ready to shoot, and uh, the audience was waiting. And uh, nobody could find Bea Arthur. So everybodys freaking out and uh, then one of the producers runs in and says Cancel the show tonight. Bea Arthurs in jail! Lois: Oh My God! Peter: Yeah. Apparently she had a little too much to drink before the show and uh, they found her standing on the street corner, exposing her penis to traffic. Brian: Oh My God! Meg: Ew! Thats Disgusting! Peter: Can you believe that? Brian: Wait a minute. How the hell can Bea Arthur have a penis? Peter: Eh, special permit. Stewie: I say, what is it with these actors? Theyre perfectly normal people in civilian life and then they come out to Hollywood and just go fucking berserk. Brian: You gotta watch your language, kid. Stewie: Oh, its a record album for Gods sake. Lets cut loose a bit. Chris: Nipples! Hehe. Stewie: Perfect example. Although I must say I am amazed at the language you can get away with on television these days. I- I was watching Law and Order the other night and I swear to god, I heard someone use the word balls. And I thought to myself, My God, that- that Dick Wolf just does whatever he damn well pleases, doesnt he? Bringing words like balls into Americas living rooms. I wonder how hed like it if I just walked into his living room a- and use the word balls. Brian: Uh I think that would be breaking and entering. Lois: You know, I am so glad they allowed us to bring Stewie this evening. The last show we did we had to leave him at home. They didnt allow babies in the theater. Brian: Well of course. People wanted to be able to enjoy the show Stewie: I am a show you lack-witted beetle head! Ugh! Oh what a night that was. My babysitter was a total bitch. Lois: Stewie! Thats very rude. Especially since your babysitter is here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff. Hailey Duff: Hi Mr. And Mrs. Griffin Peter: Howre ya, sweetheart? Lois: So was it really that bad babysitting Stewie? Hailey Duff: You want the truth? Well, okay. So after you and Peter left for dinner, I- No. Wait a minute. Lets tell this story right. Please.