Everyday Normal Guy 2 - Jon Lajoie

I can run a hundred miles without stopping for rest. I can stay under water for 5 minutes on a single breath. When I focus my mind I always reach my goal, But there's one thing I cannot control I come too fast I come too fast A couple strokes and my erection is a thing of the past. I come too fast I come too fast Sometimes it's even game over before I take off my pants. I've read all the articles and I've tried every trick. Thinking of sports or of naked Cathy Bates in About Schmidt. If the girl's on top sometimes I'll last a minute or two, But if we doggy-style oh man I'm screwed I come too fast I come too fast I carry a spare pair of underwear in case a girl sits on my lap. I come too fast I come too fast I swear I'll even shoot my load if a fly lands on my shaft. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh . Ooohh. Damnit.

Ladies and Gentlemen get off the dance Floor and start doing your chores! IT'S SUNDAY AFTERNOON! It's Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I have to do, And I'm gon do em, I'm gon do em. It's Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I have to do, And I'm gon do em, I'm gon do em. First up, I gotta tidy up. My place is getting messy, haven't cleaned it in a month. I may be having friends over tomorrow night. It's not confirmed but just in case I'd like my place to look nice. Then I go out to the grocery store To get some more dish soap, I ran out a week ago. And I've been mixing it with water just To make it last a little longer But now there's really nothing left. Then I'll stop by at my parents to say Hi And maybe have a cup of coffee and a piece of pie And I'll ask them how their week was How was your week? And they'll tell me how their week was pretty good It's Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I have to do, And I'm gon do em, I'm gon do em. It's Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I have to do, And I'm gon do em, I'm gon do em. Then I'll head down to the mall, pick up some black socks I don't really need them but I heard that they were half off You can never have too many socks you know? So that you can always throw away the ones with holes. Next up, take my dog out for a walk, He needs the exercise And at the same time I talk, To the other people walking their dogs.Hello I usually ask them questions about their dogs How old is he? Then I have to return this DVD of pornography That my friend rented, I swear to god that it wasn't me It's not mine I swear Alright, fine, but it was the first time I am not the kind of guy, that watches porn all the time. Alright fine I watch porn all the time. It was Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I had to do, And I did em and I did em. It was Sunday Afternoon and there are a few things that I had to do, And I did em and I did em. I only have one thing left to do, And I'm not gonna do it in front of you. So I'm gonna end the song like this, As I warm up my wrists. Damnit I forgot to buy kleenex!