She's got the kind of look that defies gravity
She's the greatest cook
And she's fat free (Fat free, fat free, fat free)
She's been to private school
And she speaks perfect French
She's got her perfect friends
Oh, isn't she cool?
She practices Tai Chi
She'd never lose her nerve
She's more than you deserve
She's just far better than me
Hey, hey

So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry
And don't bother, I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind

I'm sure she doesn't know
How to touch you like I would
I beat her at that one good
Don't you think so?
She's almost six feet tall
She must think I'm a flea
I'm really a cat, you see
And it's not my last life at all
Hey, hey

So don't bother
I won't die of deception
I promise you won't ever see me cry
Don't feel sorry
Don't bother, I'll be fine
But she's waiting
The ring you gave to her will lose its shine
So don't bother, be unkind

For you, I'd give up all I own
And move to a communist country
If you came with me, of course
And I'd file my nails so they don't hurt you
And lose those pounds, learn about football
If it made you stay
But you won't, but you won't

So don't bother
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry
And after all, I'm glad that I'm not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry

Don't bother
I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine
Promise you won't ever see me cry
And after all, I'm glad that I'm not your type
Not your type, not your type, not your type
Promise you won't ever see me cry