I haven't felt safe since 2007 I haven't felt safe since 2001 Pacing around my apartment To keep my heart open Call my friend in a cold sweat Am I dying? I don't wanna be afraid of strangers or being lonely I don't wanna play it safe I'll be brave, I'll sing karaoke I wanna smile real big I wanna fucking live I wanna smile real big I wanna fucking live I haven't felt safe since 2007 I haven't felt safe since 2001 I'm a little girl with a woman's past Never gotten used to having tits and ass Never gotten used to living alone I swear to god it's gotta be unnatural I don't wanna be afraid of aging or gaining weight I want to take up space I wanna get up real early and stay up late I wanna smile real big I wanna fucking live I wanna smile real big I wanna fucking live I wanna smile real big I wanna fucking live I wanna smile real big I wanna fucking live

It's my sunny disposition that you liked You poured me coke and vodka Drink it baby, be nice And you knew you would get away So you didn't try to hide I watched them shake your hand Their obedient laughter cut my mind Don't want your money for my silence I don't care who knows your name Don't tell your friends that I'm a lying to convince them I'm insane Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh I need you to know that I'm not too proud of this My strength lies within my gentleness And I'm already hurt so now I don't have to hide And I hold all the heads of my brothers and sisters high Don't want your money for my silence I don't care who knows my name Don't tell your friends that I'm a lying to convince them I'm insane Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh I'm free, I'm floating over my body on the floor I grab it, I tell myself, don't be ashamed anymore Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh Over my dead body, oh Over my dead

Put my t-shirt on Look at myself and yawn Is it okay to be ordinary? Take chemicals To try to be more whole Maybe a fractions all I'm meant to feel I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to You put your makeup on Sit on the bed and watch I love the way you care Enough to comb your hair I take my t-shirt off I know it's what you want I love your love for me So ordinary I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to Our life is small but it's big enough for me I don't need any fancy things, oh Our life is small but it's big enough for me I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to

Wake up, hand upon my forehead Can't believe this is the way I live Even now Still somehow Told my mom it was the last time Told myself maybe it's OK One more time One more time I don't wanna call first thing in the morning Desperate for help to feel normal Over and over and over again I keep doing bad, bad, bad, bad, bad I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking Get caught in empty conversations Fake friends and chemical temptations Turn them down Turn them down This time I will take it slowly Say no to everything I don't need Turn it down Turn it down I don't wanna call first thing in the morning Desperate for help to feel normal Over and over and over again I keep doing bad, bad, bad, bad, bad I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking I don't ever, ever, ever wanna go to sleep I, I, I don't ever, ever, ever wanna go to sleep I, I, I don't ever, ever, ever wanna go to sleep 'Cause I want more and I want more until I wake up Turn around And I did a bad thing I did a bad thing Over and over and over again Over and over and over again Over and over and over again Over and over and over and over again

I generally don't like to talk about The idiosyncrasies of an obvious fool It's clear to me he's not worth your energy Let's break it down He's just not very nice to you I find myself floating away Outside of space and time I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude But I think I'm losing my mind Stop talking about that boy Stop talking about that boy Stop talking about that boy Stop talking about the boy Alright. Okay. I must admit I've talked off my share of ears On the subject at hand Sound like a pathetic parrot repeating Polly wanna cracker til it eats So many crackers that it's dead I like to see you happy And I much enjoy your brain The way you think is so unique But he's taking all the real estate Stop talking about that boy Stop talking about that boy Stop talking about that boy Stop talking about the boy You have to make a choice Don't be an accidental voice We have to speak with grace We will become the words we say Hey. We will become the words we say Hey. We will become the words we say Stop talking about that Stop talking about that boy, boy, boy Talking about that boy, boy, boy Stop talking about that boy, boy, boy Stop talking about

Today, I talked to a semi-stranger A girl that I sorta know But every encounter at the corner grocery Holds potential for our relationship to grow And half of my brain was totally afraid That she'd hate me, never want to see me again And half of my brain was equally afraid That she'd like me, want to be my friend I am learning to love I am learning to let myself be loved How did I miss this lesson when I was young? How did I miss this lesson when I was young? How did I miss this lesson when I was young? Yesterday, I was anxious and alone So I called a friend to make me feel ok And for a moment, I found myself Angry at him for offering help When I should have just been grateful For what he gave I am learning to love I am learning to let myself be loved How did I miss this lesson when I was young? How did I miss this lesson when I was young? How did I miss this lesson when I was young? Be gentle with me I might not be ready Be gentle with me I might not be ready I am learning to love I am learning to let myself be loved How did I miss this lesson when I was young? How did I miss this lesson when I was young? How did I miss this lesson when I was young? Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah