Been so Long - Brant Bjork

I don't know what I was thinking Leaving my child behind Now I suffer the curse and now I am blind With all this anger, guilt and sadness Coming to haunt me forever I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river Is this revenge I'm seeking Or seeking someone to avenge me? Stuck in my own paradox I wanna set myself free Or maybe, I should chase and find Before they try to stop it It won't be long before I become their puppet It's been so long Since I last have seen my son Lost to this monster To the man behind the slaughter Since you've been gone I've been singing this stupid song So I could ponder the sanity of your mother I wish I lived in the present With the gift of my past mistakes But the future keeps lurking in like a pack of snakes Your sweet little eyes Your little smile's all I remember Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper Justification is killing me But killing isn't justified What happened to my son? I'm terrified It lingers in my mind And the thought keeps on getting bigger I'm sorry, my sweet baby I wish I'd been there It's been so long Since I last have seen my son Lost to this monster To the man behind the slaughter Since you've been gone I've been singing this stupid song So I could ponder the sanity of your mother