Baseball and Football - George Carlin

Pulled over at midday The joker's still wet behind the ears He hands off a novel of novice citations Outside the service station The glue sets beneath our heels My baby's in Massachusetts And all this booze is useless Sunset, sing my scratched-out sighing soul to sleep And the cashier here is ruthless Jeanette, I wrote your name down But I'd hate that job as much as you do If I was stuck between Barton and Binghamton too Days like this, I miss listening to records Making coffee together, snow globes and jersey sheets I tried sleeping in our bed without you last night That didn't work at all, 'cause I couldn't sleep Sometimes I wish it was still last summer And you still lived in South Philly And I wasn't playing a show in Nebraska, or Austin, Texas Asking the kids what they ate for breakfast But here I am, Valero bathroom Who's paid to keep these things cliché? Bury me beneath New York State It's the only place where I feel dead My baby's in Massachusetts And all this booze is useless Sunset, sing my scratched-out sighing soul to sleep And the cashier here is ruthless Jeanette, I wrote your name down But I'd hate that job as much as you do If I was stuck between Barton and Binghamton too

Take the train to Frankford I won't answer when they call I guess that's just my gift to myself Drank a lot and danced to The Cure Holding on for dear life To the frayed edge of a feeling we misplaced years ago And knowing we should really get back home Made mistakes The plants died young, like all good things But I wish my small self had known How much water to use Still some nights I find The ideas that bring me rest Are the ones that used to prod and pester and keep me up Swinging open doors I swore I'd shut Pouring pewter Amassing coins to displace debt to you My straight-line shooter Let me learn here I am in pursuit of all I can undo Entertain the cancer We all answer upwards either way The waiting game is tied again Backs of hands and phrases Misplaced gazes Things we still deny to selves and hesitate to talk about A call from high school two drinks in I smiled but you could not see Your tin can cell receiver Hummed its New York static song The lever pulled and all at once The floor was false The center seam divided Lace and well-pressed cotton Found the flood we'd since forgotten We still leave our shoes at the door Before we wring out our wet clothes Across your floor and future Stitch the gaps that destiny assumed With floral sutures Are you hiding or have I abandoned you? Let me learn here I am in pursuit Of all I can undo Of all I can undo

Thank you for your love Thank you for the heart There'll never be a long and lonely night again Thank you for your love Thank you for the heart Girl please don't ever let me be alone again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) There'll never be a long and lonely night again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) Girl please don't ever let me be alone again I used to play at love Love became an empty game I've walked away from love I always had myself to blame I hid my fragile dreams away My lonely heart was like a valentine No one cared to read the rhyme I watch the world go by (watch the world go by) Lovers hand in hand I could not understand But that was long ago Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) Oh girl you taught me how to feel the joy again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) I'll never be afraid to share my dreams again And in your younger days Girl, you hid your heart away (You hid it far away) Those were the hungry days Waiting for someone to say Those tender words that never came Fragile nights of wishing on a star Love was near and yet so far And when you fell for me (when you fell for me) I never had a clue And when I noticed you My heart already knew My dreams were coming true And now I smile and say Goodbye to yesterday 'Cause that was long ago Thank you for the hope (thank you for the hope) Thank you for the joy (thank you for the joy) Oh girl you taught my lonely heart to sing again Thank you for your kiss (thank you for your kiss) Thank you for the touch (thank you for the touch) I'll never be afraid to share my dreams again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) There'll never be a long and lonely night again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) Girl please don't ever let me be alone again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) Oh girl you taught me how to feel the joy again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) (I used to play at love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) (Love became an empty game) I'll never be afraid to share my dreams again Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) (Girl you hid your heart away) Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) (I used to play at love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) (Love became an empty game) Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart) Thank you for your love (thank you for your love) Thank you for the heart (thank you for the heart)