I've got 36 expressions Sweet as pie to tough as leather And that's six expressions more than all them Barrymores put together Instead of just kicking me why don't they give me a lift? Well, it must be a plot 'Cause their scared that I got, such a gift? Well, I'm miffed 'Cause I'm The greatest star I am by far But no one knows it, wait They're gonna hear a voice A silver flute (Ah-ah, ah-ah) They'll cheer each toot (Hey, that kid is terrific, hmm) When I expose it (Now can't ya see to look at me that) I'm a natural Camille As Camille I just feel I've so much to offer (Hey, listen kid I know I'd be divine because) I'm a natural cougher (Ahoo, aheh, ahay) Some ain't got it, not a lump I'm a great big clump of talent Laugh (Hahahaha) They'll bend in half (Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?) A thousand jokes (Stick around for the jokes) A thousand faces I reiterate When you're gifted, then you're gifted These are facts I've got no axe to grind Hey, whaddaya blind? In all of the world so far I'm the greatest star No autographs, please Do you think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever? I should say not Any minute now they're gonna be out Finished And then it'll be my turn Who is the pip with pizzazz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamourous as? Who's an american beauty rose? With an american beauty nose And ten american beauty toes? Eye on the target and wham One shot, one gun shot and bam Hey Mister Keeney Here I am I'm the greatest star I am by far But no one knows it That's why I was born I'll blow my horn 'Til someone blows in I'll light up like a light Right up like a light I'll flicker then flare up All the world's gonna stare up Looking down you'll never see me Try the sky 'cause that'll be me I can make 'em cry I can make 'em sigh Someday they'll clamor for my drama Have you guessed yet Who's the best yet? If you ain't, I'll tell ya one more time You'll bet your last dime In all of the world so far I am the greatest, greatest Star